Tough Love Isn’t Easy, But It’s Necessary

10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. 13 Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. – 2 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV

Something had happened within the church at Corinth. A situation had occurred that compelled Paul to write a now-lost letter. In that letter, he had been forced to confront the issue.

I wrote to you so that in the sight of God you could see for yourselves how loyal you are to us.– 2 Corinthians 7:12 ESV

Paul says the purpose behind writing his confrontational letter was to reveal to them just how loyal they were to him and his leadership. Evidently, the individual to whom Paul refers had been critical of his ministry and authority, and “the one who suffered the wrong” had been Paul himself.

Paul always had critics; there was no shortage of those who questioned his apostleship or argued against his authority. Whoever this individual was, he had been misleading the church and undermining all the work Paul had done there. So, in this follow-up letter, Paul responds to the Corinthians after hearing back from Titus, whom he had sent to check on the situation firsthand. The report from Titus was encouraging.

“Therefore we are comforted,” Paul proudly states. Titus had informed him that the Corinthians had remained committed to his teaching and leadership. In fact, Paul states that any grief or sorrow his letter might have produced “leads us away from sin and results in salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT). That is why he can refer to it as godly sorrow, rather than worldly sorrow. The sorrow associated with this world can only produce disappointment and, ultimately, death. Sorrow over sin that does not result in a willingness to repent of it is non-productive and unhelpful. Sorrow over sin that does not drive us to the foot of the cross for cleansing by Christ’s blood can never produce life. Worldly sorrow can only produce despair, resentment, anger, and a growing callousness. We find ourselves becoming less and less sorrowful over our sin, finally reaching the point where we claim that we have not sinned at all.

But for believers, godly sorrow produces repentance, and repentance leads to forgiveness. Paul points out that the Corinthians' sorrow had a positive outcome.

Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. – 2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT

Paul’s earlier letter had produced a sorrow that revealed their desire to do what was right. They had been saddened at the thought that their actions had caused Paul pain, and were motivated to show him that they remained faithful to him. It alarmed them that their behavior had led Paul to question their loyalty, and they realized they had been lax in dealing with the one causing the trouble.  All Paul had done was point out their sin; the Holy Spirit had done the rest. The Spirit had used Paul’s words to convict the Corinthians, and the outcome had been their repentance and the restoration of their relationship with Paul.

Paul even comments that Titus had been encouraged by his visit to check on the Corinthians. He states, “his spirit has been refreshed by you all” (2 Corinthians 7:13b ESV). Titus returned joyful and told Paul that all his boasts about the Corinthians had been true.

Paul ends this section of his letter by telling them, “I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). It is the same way he started his letter.

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride on your behalf. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in the midst of all our suffering. – 2 Corinthians 7:4 NET

Paul was greatly encouraged by the news that the Corinthians had not wandered away from the faith or rejected his role as their spiritual father. He had a deep longing to see them grow spiritually, and a father’s heart that desired to protect his spiritual children from harm and to keep them from straying away from the truth. So the news that they remained faithful was enough to help Paul endure the trials and troubles he faced as he continued to share the gospel throughout Macedonia and the surrounding regions.

He could rest easy knowing that his flock in Corinth remained safe and secure. His loving confrontation had led to their sorrow and repentance, and their repentance had resulted in their salvation; they had been rescued or delivered from a potentially destructive path. Because of Paul's love and with the Holy Spirit's help, they had been able to make a course correction and return to the path God had intended for them to follow.

But what if Paul had never written that now-missing letter? What if he had chosen to ignore their sin and had refused to confront them because he didn’t want to offend them? Love is not the same as tolerance. Godly love is willing to say the hard thing. It compassionately confronts and affectionately admonishes. Allowing a brother or sister in Christ to continue in sin because you don’t want to offend them isn’t love. That would be like allowing your child to play in the street because you don’t want to spoil their fun. Your fear that your child will see you as a spoilsport is not good parenting, and it certainly isn’t love. In fact, it’s a subtle and dangerous form of child abuse. Godly love is willing to disappoint and even to produce hostility as long as it results in godly sorrow, which leads to repentance and life.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Father, tough love is hard. Our innate desire to be liked by others prevents us from loving them the same way You love us. You refuse to tolerate our sin or allow us to make our personal pleasure our top priority. It’s not that You isolate us from temptation or innoculate us from sin’s influence; it’s that You use Your Holy Spirit to confront and convict us when we do sin. You lovingly expose our acts of rebellion and call us to repent of them. And that is what Paul did with the Corinthians. He loved them too much to tolerate their ungodly behavior. He was willing to risk losing their affection to keep them from damaging their relationship with You. Their spiritual well-being meant more to him than their friendship. But it is so easy to see our tolerance of one another’s sins as somehow loving. We convince ourselves we are just being patient and non-judgmental. But Peter said, “the time has come for judgment, and it must begin with God’s household” (1 Peter 4:17 NLT). The Proverbs states, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6 NLT). Give me the strength to love others well by making their holiness a higher priority than their happiness. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Tough Love

23 But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.

1 For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4 ESV

Even as an apostle of Jesus Christ, Paul did not see himself as spiritually superior to the Corinthians. He viewed himself as their ally and an asset to their spiritual development. He claims, “we work with you for your joy” (2 Corinthians 1:24 ESV). He, Silas, and Timothy were tools in God’s hands, used by Him to assist the Corinthians in their growth and development. And despite the issues within the Corinthian church, Paul still believed they were firm in their faith. This made his decision to delay his visit easier, and he believed it was God's will.

But there was another reason he postponed his visit: to keep from causing them pain and sorrow. Evidently, Paul had made a second visit to Corinth sometime between his original visit when he helped establish the church there. It was on this second visit that he had to deal with particularly difficult circumstances in the church. He knew his arrival in Corinth had caused them great pain because being reprimanded is never easy, and having to be the one to call them out had not been enjoyable for Paul either. So, he says, “I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved” (2 Corinthians 2:1-2 NLT).

It pained Paul to reprimand those he loved. This reveals his pastor’s heart and his deep care and affection for the believers in Corinth. They were his children in the faith, and he had a deep and abiding love for them and felt a strong sense of responsibility for their spiritual well-being. 

Instead of paying them a potentially painful visit, Paul decided to write them a letter.

That is why I wrote to you as I did, so that when I do come, I won’t be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you all know that my joy comes from your being joyful. – 2 Corinthians 2:3 NLT

The letter, now lost, was evidently quite blunt and caused Paul “great anguish” to write. Whatever he wrote had caused him great sorrow and left him in tears, but it was necessary and written in love.

It was Paul’s hope and desire that the Corinthians would take seriously the painful rebuke and loving reprimand found in his letter and do something about it. What he had written had been for their good, and he longed for them to heed his words and change their ways. Otherwise, when he did finally visit them, it would be another painful reunion.

While Paul cared for the Corinthians, he loved them too much to allow them to continue in sin. His affection for them was rooted in the love of Christ and in his knowledge that he was responsible to God for their spiritual welfare. Paul did not enjoy or take pleasure in hurting them; he simply wanted to see them enjoy all that God had in store for them. He desired that they experience all the full measure of the abundant life that Christ made possible by His death on the cross. Later in this letter, Paul explains the harsh tone of his previous letter.

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NLT

Paul found joy in their repentance, not in their happiness. To refrain from telling someone the truth just because you don’t want to cause them pain is not love; it is a twisted form of hate. To knowingly allow them to continue in sin would be cruel and make you an accomplice in their sin. You would be enabling their sinful behavior by remaining silent.

Too often, as Christians, our fear of losing face or friends keeps us from saying what needs to be said. But Paul believed that holiness was far more important than happiness. Our love for one another is best expressed in our unwillingness to tolerate sin in one another’s lives. Which is why Paul told the Colossian believers: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 ESV).

Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him” (Luke 17:3 ESV). Solomon wrote, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:3 ESV). King David understood the value of the loving rebuke of a godly friend.

Let the godly strike me!
    It will be a kindness!
If they correct me, it is soothing medicine.
    Don’t let me refuse it. – Psalm 141:5 NLT

Tough love is tough to pull off because it is difficult to confront those we love. It caused Paul pain to say what he had to say to the Corinthians, but it was necessary. It was the godly thing to do. He told the Corinthians that he wrote his previous letter “to let you know how much love I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT).

When we care more for another believer’s holiness than for their happiness, we truly love them. When we’re willing to risk their rejection to bring about their repentance, we demonstrate our love for them. When we make their relationship with God a higher priority than their friendship with us, we are loving them as Christ loved us. As Solomon said, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Strong words spoken from a sincere and loving heart may cause momentary pain, but in the long run, they will produce the fruit of righteousness.

Father, nobody likes to have their sins exposed or their faults pointed out, but the truth is that we are sometimes the last ones to see what is painfully obvious to others. Yet, most of us avoid confronting the sin we see in other’s lives because we fear rejection or suspect that they will point the finger of accusation back at us. However, our silence does nothing to change their behavior or assuage our responsibility to love them enough to confront them. Father, before Your Son began His earthly ministry, You sent John the Baptist to call the people to repentance. Even Jesus’ preached the same message, calling people to acknowledge their sinfulness and their need for a Savior. He is the one who said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners” (Mark 2:17 NLT). He loved us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves. Then He went to the cross to pay the penalty we owed and provide a cure for our sinful condition. Give me the same passion to expose the sins in those I claim to love. Don’t allow me to let getting along to outweigh my responsibility to build up the body of Christ. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Longing For God's Presence, Not Just Deliverance

A Psalm of David.

1 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
    give ear to my pleas for mercy!
    In your faithfulness answer me, in your righteousness!
2 Enter not into judgment with your servant,
    for no one living is righteous before you.

3 For the enemy has pursued my soul;
    he has crushed my life to the ground;
    he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.
4 Therefore my spirit faints within me;
    my heart within me is appalled.

5 I remember the days of old;
    I meditate on all that you have done;
    I ponder the work of your hands.
6 I stretch out my hands to you;
    my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah

7 Answer me quickly, O LORD!
    My spirit fails!
Hide not your face from me,
    lest I be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
    for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
    for to you I lift up my soul.

9 Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD!
    I have fled to you for refuge.
10 Teach me to do your will,
    for you are my God!
Let your good Spirit lead me
    on level ground!

11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life!
    In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!
12 And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies,
    and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul,
    for I am your servant. – Psalm 143:1-12 ESV

In this penitential psalm, David juxtaposes Yahweh’s righteousness with his own, and concludes there is no comparison. He states, “No one living is righteous before you” (Psalm 142:1 ESV), a conclusion he reached in a previous psalm.

The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man,
    to see if there are any who understand,
    who seek after God.

They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt;
    there is none who does good,
    not even one. – Psalm 14:2-3 ESV

This sentiment regarding man's unrighteous status before God was picked up by David's son, Solomon, who included it in the Book of Ecclesiastes.

Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins. – Ecclesiastes 7:20 ESV

The prophets would also echo this theme, doing so with the full authority and backing of Yahweh. 

We are all infected and impure with sin.
    When we display our righteous deeds,
    they are nothing but filthy rags.
Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall,
    and our sins sweep us away like the wind. – Issaiah 64:6 NLT

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
    and desperately wicked.
    Who really knows how bad it is?” – Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

This rather bleak assessment of humanity’s moral state did not depress David; it provided him with a much-needed reminder of his inadequacy and insufficiency in comparison to Yahweh's spiritual superiority and sovereignty. David needed Yahweh, not the other way around. He knew he brought nothing of value to the relationship, but was utterly dependent upon Yahweh's mercy, grace, and favor. 

It is unclear when this psalm was written, but it contains not-so-subtle hints. David's reference to being chased and forced “to live in darkness like those in the grave” (Psalm 143:3 NLT) points to the years he spent running from Saul and hiding in caves in the Judean wilderness. In those moments of distress, as he lay in the darkened recesses of his remote hideaway, David reflected on the stories of Yahweh's deliverance of His covenant people. 

I remember the days of old.
    I ponder all your great works
    and think about what you have done. – Psalm 143:5 NLT

His recounting of those stories from Israel's past reminded him that Yahweh was faithful and righteous. Despite Israel’s disobedience and unfaithfulness, Yahweh remained committed to His covenant promises. He would not abandon or give up on them, a point that David took to heart and used to motivate his prayer life.

I lift my hands to you in prayer.
    I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.  – Psalm 143:6 NLT

David goes on to express his belief that Yahweh will not only hear his prayer but respond.

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
    for in you I trust. – Psalm 143:8 ESV

Years later, the prophet Jeremiah, while suffering his own crisis of faith, would remind himself of Yahweh's faithful, never-failing love.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.” – Lamentations 3:22-24 ESV

David and Jeremiah both put their trust in Yahweh. They believed He would come through in the end, and while they prayed for deliverance from their difficulties, they recognized that their suffering was a means of getting to know Yahweh better. David put it this way:

Rescue me from my enemies, LORD;
    I run to you to hide me.
Teach me to do your will,
    for you are my God. – Psalm 143:9-10 NLT 

Jeremiah shared David's belief that suffering was a tool Yahweh used to teach His people to trust Him. 

For no one is abandoned
    by the LORD forever.
Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
    because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
For he does not enjoy hurting people
    or causing them sorrow. – Lamentations 3:31-33 NLT

As the Proverb states, “The LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12 NLT). Yahweh's greatest desire for His children is their holiness, which may require that they forego happiness for a while so they may find their help and hope in Him. The apostle Paul also shared David's outlook on trusting God even amid the trials and tribulations of life.

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. – 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NLT

David didn’t shy away from asking for deliverance from his difficulties, but he knew that there were lessons to be learned in the midst of them. 

May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
    on a firm footing.
For the glory of your name, O LORD, preserve my life.
    Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. – Psalm 143:10-11 NLT

David wasn't necessarily asking for a trouble-free life; he was asking for proof of Yahweh's faithfulness. He knew trials were a part of living in a fallen world, but as a child of God, he fully expected His Father to rescue and preserve his life. Whether his suffering was a result of his own sin or that of another, David believed it would be for his good and Yahweh's glory. 

This psalm raises an interesting aspect about prayer. When we pray, we often express to God what we want done. We share what we believe to be the solutions to our problems and demand that He oblige our request. In many cases, we treat God as a kind of cosmic Genie in the sky, except this Genie doesn’t limit our wishes to just three. We can go to Him constantly with requests of all kinds, or so it would seem. But the reality is that prayer requires an understanding of who God is and what His character is like. To ask God to do something that is not in His nature or that goes against His will would be absurd, but we do it all the same. God wants us to express our needs to Him, but it seems unlikely that he requires our help when it comes to a solution.

Our prayers should be an expression of our trust and dependence on God. We go to Him because we know that He is the only one who can help. And He will help, but on His own terms and according to His perfect timing.

In this psalm, David prays openly and honestly to God. He shares that he is surrounded by enemies. He tells God about his struggle with depression and being paralyzed by fear, and asks God to rescue him. He wants Yahweh to preserve his life and deliver him from his distress. He even urges Yahweh to silence his enemies and destroy all his foes. But David seems to keep His requests consistent with his understanding of Yahweh's character. He appealed to Yahweh’s mercy, and pleads for Him to answer because he knows Yahweh to be faithful and righteous. David understood that nothing he asked of God was too great for Him, because he had heard about all the great things God had done in the past. He knew Yahweh was loving and would listen to him when he called to Him.

David asks Yahweh, “Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting in you” (Psalm 143:8 NLT). What an interesting choice of words. He seems to be asking God to preserve him through the night and cause him to wake up to a renewed recognition of God’s unfailing love and mercy. He will “hear” of God’s love each morning. This seems to indicate that David believed Yahweh's deliverance would be the talk of the town. Others would be talking about it because Yahweh’s intervention in David’s life would be visible for all to see. Their conclusion would be that David's miraculous deliverance was a “God-thing.”

David doesn't just ask Yahweh for deliverance; he asks for directions.

Show me where to walk,
    for I give myself to you. – Psalm 143:8 NLT

He isn’t asking for travel directions; he is requesting insight into how to live his life in a way that will be pleasing to Yahweh. He wants to know how to be a good king, a righteous father, and a godly husband. He goes on to ask God, “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing” (Psalm 143:10 NLT). He wants Yahweh to train him to obey. David wasn’t just asking God to deliver him from difficulty; he was expressing his desire to live a life that was pleasing to God. He wanted to live in obedience to and dependence on God.

Is that our desire? Is that what we pray and long for? David wanted rescue so that he could serve God. He sought relief from trials and troubles, so he could spend more time worshiping and less time worrying. But he also knew that Yahweh would use those very same trials and hardships to reveal Himself as He displayed His power, presence, love, mercy, and faithfulness. David trusted God. Do we?

Father, it is so easy for me to just come to You with my requests, but fail to want to get to know You. I want to hear of your unfailing love every morning. I want to wake up to a renewed realization of Your mercy and grace each day. I want You to teach me to do Your will, not mine. I want You to show me how to live my life in increasing obedience and dependence on You. You could give me all I ask for, but if I miss out on knowing You, I lose. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Don’t Take Your Eye Off the Prize

1 There is an evil that I have seen under the sun, and it lies heavy on mankind: 2 a man to whom God gives wealth, possessions, and honor, so that he lacks nothing of all that he desires, yet God does not give him power to enjoy them, but a stranger enjoys them. This is vanity; it is a grievous evil. 3 If a man fathers a hundred children and lives many years, so that the days of his years are many, but his soul is not satisfied with life’s good things, and he also has no burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he. 4 For it comes in vanity and goes in darkness, and in darkness its name is covered. 5 Moreover, it has not seen the sun or known anything, yet it finds rest rather than he. 6 Even though he should live a thousand years twice over, yet enjoy no good—do not all go to the one place?

7 All the toil of man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied. 8 For what advantage has the wise man over the fool? And what does the poor man have who knows how to conduct himself before the living? 9 Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the appetite: this also is vanity and a striving after wind.

10 Whatever has come to be has already been named, and it is known what man is, and that he is not able to dispute with one stronger than he. 11 The more words, the more vanity, and what is the advantage to man? 12 For who knows what is good for man while he lives the few days of his vain life, which he passes like a shadow? For who can tell man what will be after him under the sun? – Ecclesiastes 6:1-12 ESV

From Solomon’s unique vantage point as king, he has been able to see and experience a great deal of what life has to offer. Some of his observations are more objective in nature, providing the perspective of an impartial outsider, viewing the lives of the people in his kingdom. He has been able to witness first-hand the oppression of the poor. As a judge over his people, he has had to preside over countless cases involving injustice and abuse. He has listened to the cries of the destitute and needy, as they have begged for someone to help them in their time of need.

But some of Solomon’s most powerful insights come from his willingness to look at his own life and share his more subjective and personal observations. In this chapter, he continues to speak from his own personal experience, revealing his frustrations over what he sees and fears.

First of all, he starts with what he describes as a form of evil or wickedness that he has observed “under the sun” or in this life. He writes from a human perspective, presenting his earth-bound opinion concerning a prevalent problem among mankind. There are those whom God has obviously blessed with great wealth, but He has also denied them the power or capacity to enjoy all that they have been given.

God gives some people great wealth and honor and everything they could ever want, but then he doesn’t give them the chance to enjoy these things. – Ecclesiastes 6:2 NLT

These people have all that their hearts desire, except contentment and joy. And to make matters even worse, when they die, “someone else, even a stranger, ends up enjoying their wealth!” (Ecclesiastes 6:2 NLT). And Solomon deems it all as “meaningless—a sickening tragedy” (Ecclesiastes 6:2 NLT). But is he right?

First of all, Solomon’s viewpoint reflects the prevailing attitude of his day. It was commonly believed that anyone who enjoyed great wealth had obviously been blessed by God. And if they had been blessed by God, their lives must have been pleasing to God. This is why it made no sense that God would withhold the one thing these people wanted and needed: The ability to enjoy what He had given them.

Solomon was right when he concluded that all good things come from God. In fact, he would have based his view on the Scriptures themselves.

Truth springs up from the earth,
    and righteousness smiles down from heaven.
Yes, the Lord pours down his blessings.
    Our land will yield its bountiful harvest. – Psalm 85:11-12 ESV

Even the New Testament author, James, echoes this view.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights… – James 1:17 ESV

But where Solomon missed the point was in his assumption that wealth and material goods were to be the sole source of his enjoyment. In other words, he wrongly assumed that it was the blessings of God that brought joy, contentment, satisfaction, and significance. He misunderstood the true nature of their purpose and the significance of their source. The gifts had become the priority rather than the Giver. God was to have been the primary focus of Solomon’s life but not as the giver of good things. In fact, God should have been the only Solomon or anyone else needed in their life. God should have been enough. The apostle Paul expressed this viewpoint when he said:

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:11-13 NLT

It didn’t really matter to Paul whether he had a little or a lot. All that really mattered was his relationship with Christ. Yet Solomon and his contemporaries placed their emphasis on the tangible and temporal. For them, the proof of God’s love was in the presence of material goods and the ability to enjoy them. Solomon’s misguided and misplaced emphasis on material goods and earthly pleasures left him with a sense of emptiness and frustration. He was experiencing the very painful lesson that nothing satisfies man’s inner longings and desires like God Himself.

For Solomon, the measurement of a successful life was based on both quantity and quality. He pessimistically observed that if a man ended up fathering hundreds of children (and he had), and lived a long life (which he did), but his soul was not satisfied with life’s good things (and his wasn’t), then his life was a waste.

A man might have a hundred children and live to be very old. But if he finds no satisfaction in life and doesn’t even get a decent burial, it would have been better for him to be born dead. – Ecclesiastes 6:3 NLT

That is a grim assessment. But notice what he is saying. He is measuring the significance of life using a quantitative matrix. He operated on the commonly held maxim: The more, the merrier. It was long life and lots of kids that brought joy. But having hundreds of children, none of whose names you know will ever bring satisfaction. And living a long life, but without a relationship with the Giver of life will never satisfy. Acquiring much wealth and accomplishing great deeds cannot make anyone truly happy or content if they fail to seek the One from whom all good things come.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights… – James 1:17 ESV

For Solomon, nothing was more futile or frustrating than the thought of living a long life devoid of contentment. He states that a man “might live a thousand years twice over but still not find contentment. And since he must die like everyone else—well, what’s the use?” (Ecclesiastes 6:6 NLT).

And, sadly, this aptly describes Solomon’s own life. When he wrote this verse, he was at the end of life looking back, and while he could claim to have fathered hundreds of children and lived many years, he could say as Paul did, “I have learned to be content.” He had discovered the painful lesson that more was not merrier.

In his mind, it was all about satisfaction. Even the poor, who spend their days trying to scratch out a living and provide food for their next meal, end up discovering that they’re hungry again. The wise, the wealthy, the foolish, and the poor are all faced with the same grievous problem: Enough is never enough. Satisfaction and contentment are elusive. And the only advice Solomon can come up with is “Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have” (Ecclesiastes 6:9 NLT).

But again, his emphasis is misplaced. He is not recommending that we find our satisfaction in God, but that we simply resign ourselves to enjoying what little we have been given by God. He has missed the point. And in doing so, he misses out on the real meaning and purpose of life. It is not about gaining and getting. It is not about acquiring and accumulating. It is about learning to seek satisfaction, significance, joy, and contentment from a relationship with the God of the universe.

But Solomon had a warped perspective about God. He euphemistically refers to God as “one stronger than he” (Ecclesiastes 6:10 ESV). He doesn’t see God as his Father but as an enforcer. Rather than approaching God as the gracious giver of good things, Solomon views Him as a capricious tyrant who withholds the ability to enjoy what has been given. And while he rightly understands that God knows all and sees all, Solomon seems to resent the fact that God keeps man’s future fate a mystery. To Solomon, this leaves man stuck in the here-and-now, trying to make the most out of what he has before his life comes to an abrupt end.

What Solomon describes in this chapter is the sad state of all men and women who refuse to see God as the central source of all that is good in their lives. God does bless. God does give good things. God is the author of life and the source of all that we can see. But God is not to be viewed as some disembodied purveyor of presents, like a cosmic Genie in a bottle. He is the gift. He is the good. He is the satisfaction and significance that man so desperately seeks. The apostle Paul summarized it well when he spoke to the people of Athens, describing the nature of the “unknown god” to whom they offered sacrifices, but with whom they had no relationship.

“He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples, and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need. From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.

“His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist. – Acts 17:24-28 NLT

God created man to have a relationship with Him. His purpose was for the nations to seek after Him. But sin changed all that. Because of the fall, the blessings of God became substitutes for Him. We made idols out of the good gifts He had given us. The apostle Paul describes the subtle shift that took place among humanity as they took their eyes off the Giver and began to seek satisfaction and significance from the good things He had given.

They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself… – Romans 1:25 NLT

Solomon’s relentless quest to find meaning in life had taken him away from the very One who had given him life. He had made false gods out of the good and perfect gifts that had came down from the Father of lights…and he found himself unfulfilled and discontented with life and anxious about death.

In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone? – Ecclesiastes 6:12 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Man’s Wishes and God’s Will Collide

1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” –  Matthew 19:1-12 ESV

This is a difficult passage that has caused a great deal of contention and confusion over the centuries. And it’s likely that the disciples were left scratching their heads when they heard what Jesus had to say. These 12 verses deal with a topic that remains highly controversial to this day: Divorce among believers. And like so much of what Jesus taught, what He told His disciples seems to run counter to the prevailing sentiments of times in which they lived. Popular opinion would not line up with Jesus’ take on the matter. That’s why the Pharisees brought it up in the first place. They were trying to test or trick Jesus into saying something that could ruin His reputation among the people. Divorce was just as controversial then as it is now. And if Jesus attacked the peoples’ perceived right to divorce, it would alienate Him from the masses.

It could be that they were hoping He would take a similar tact as that of John the Baptist. It was John’s outspoken stance on divorce and remarriage that had resulted in his execution by Herod.

John also publicly criticized Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, for marrying Herodias, his brother's wife, and for many other wrongs he had done. So Herod put John in prison, adding this sin to his many others. – Luke 3:19-20 NLT

Matthew opens this chapter by stating that Jesus had traveled into “the region of Judea beyond the Jordan” – an area sometimes referred to as the Transjordan – which fell under the jurisdiction of Herod. The Pharisees were probably hoping that Jesus would speak against divorce as well, bringing down the wrath of Herod on his head.

Their question to Jesus was carefully worded: “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

Behind the question was their understanding or interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-2:

When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife…

The Pharisees interpreted this Old Testament passage to mean that God permitted divorce and approved of remarriage. But like so much of the Old Testament Scriptures, the Pharisees tended to read into it the meaning they wanted to get out of it. There were two contemporary rabbinic schools that differed in their interpretation of this passage in Deuteronomy. One group taught that it condoned divorce for just about any reason, while the other group took a more conservative view, stating that divorce was only permissible in the case of sexual immorality.

In His sermon on the mount, Jesus had come down on the conservative side of the debate.

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32 ESV

It would seem that the Pharisees had heard about Jesus’ stance on this issue and hoped to cause a stir among the people by getting Jesus to state His more conservative and less popular view.

The interesting point in all of this is the marked difference between Jesus’ area of emphasis and that of the Pharisees. They came asking a question about divorce. Jesus turned it into a lesson on marriage.

As Jesus was prone to do, He responded to their question with a question: “Have you not read…?” 

This unveiled inference by Jesus would have been like a slap in the face to the Pharisees, who prided themselves on their intimate knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures. But Jesus was about to school them on their understanding of God’s Word, taking them back to the book of Genesis. Paraphrasing the words of Moses regarding the God-ordained institution of marriage, Jesus asked them:

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6 ESV

Notice His emphasis: What God has joined together. Marriage is to be seen as a God-ordained union between a man and a woman. And no man is to separate that union. In that day and age, a woman was denied the right to divorce. But the husband was free to divorce his wife and, as many interpreted it, for any reason whatsoever, even for burning dinner.

But from God’s point of view, through the covenant of marriage, a man and woman became “one flesh.” They are united in an inseparable bond, sanctioned by God Himself. Marriage was to carry the idea of complementation, but also completeness. Two individuals, by covenanting together in marriage, were supernaturally bonded by God and made a completed whole. From that point forward, He saw them as one, not two.

But appealing to the words of Moses found in Deuteronomy 24:1, the Pharisees present Jesus with a follow-up question: “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” This was their perceived loophole. In their minds, it appeared that Moses had provided a clear and legal escape clause from the marriage bond. 

But the answer Jesus gave them most likely infuriated them.

“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” – Matthew 19:8 ESV

Notice that Jesus points the finger of culpability straight at the Pharisees. Even though the words of Moses were spoken hundreds of years earlier, Jesus applies them to the men standing right in front of Him. Their hearts were hardened. They were unwilling and incapable of abiding by God’s will concerning marriage. And Moses had made it clear that “from the beginning it was not so.” In other words, from the day God had ordained the institution of marriage, divorce was not to be an option. No man was to separate what God had joined together.

And it’s interesting to note what the Deuteronomy passage goes on to say about this topic.

…if she [a divorced woman] goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance. – Deuteronomy 24:2-4 ESV

Notice what Moses said. The woman who has been divorced and remarried is “defiled.” If she were divorced again and her first husband tried to remarry her, he would be committing an abomination before the Lord. It was totally unacceptable.

As usual, the Pharisees were looking for loopholes. They were seeking God-approved grounds for divorce. But Jesus was emphasizing the sanctity and holiness of marriage. Rather than looking for excuses to separate, Jesus wanted them to recognize God’s command to remain one. Moses made a concession for divorce because of man’s inherent sin problem. He was in no way condoning divorce. He was simply conceding man’s inability to do what God had called him to do: Remain in an inviolable relationship with his wife.

And Jesus reinforces the fact that divorce was not in God’s plan. He had not ordained it and would not condone it. But like all sins, it was inevitable. So, when divorce did take place, there was only one scenario that would be considered biblical grounds for divorce.

“…whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” – Matthew 19:9 ESV

And it’s interesting to note that the Pharisees, while quick to quote from Deuteronomy 24:1, seemed to ignore what Deuteronomy 22:22 had to say:

“If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel.”

This discussion led the disciples to question the whole viability of marriage. If remarriage after divorce was out of the question, because it would leave both individuals guilty of adultery, it seemed to make more sense to never marry in the first place. You can see that their view on marriage had been influenced by the idea of divorce as a potential get-out-of-jail-free card. If the marriage didn’t work out, they could always get a divorce. But Jesus had shut down that option.

Yet Jesus informed His disciples that celibacy was not an easy road to take. It had to be something that God led someone to do.

Jesus described three types of eunuchs. The term “eunuch,” referred to “one naturally incapacitated – for marriage” (G2135 - eunouchos - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (ESV) Blue Letter Bible). Some were born eunuchs. Others were made that way, through forced castration. But there was still another group of individuals who chose to remain unmarried. They were essentially eunuchs by choice, or as Jesus put it, “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” He would have been a case in point. Jesus never married, focusing all His energies on fulfilling the will of His Father.

As we will see, Jesus is beginning to set His eyes on the mission objective waiting for Him in Jerusalem. The storyline is quickly moving to its final stages. And Jesus, while teaching the disciples about issues that relate to everyday life, is trying to get them to understand that there are far more important things on the horizon than debates about marriage and divorce or arguments about who is the greatest in the kingdom. The cross looms large in Jesus’ mind. His destiny carries with it the shadow of death, but also the hope of the resurrection.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

In Need of Nothing.

Philippians 4:10-23

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. – Philippians 4:11-12 NLT

Thanks for your gift, but I never really needed it.

That sounds like a strange way of expressing gratitude to someone who has just shown you generosity. But in essence, that's exactly what Paul writes as he wraps up his letter to the believers in Philippi. They had sent him a gift through Epaphroditus. We don't know the nature of the gift, but it was not the first time they had helped Paul out. His reaction to their generosity seems somewhat strange at first glance, even a bit rude. But Paul is genuinely grateful – for them, not for the gift. "How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again" (Philippians 4:10 NLT). He doesn't thank God for the gift, but sees it as an expression of their growing Christ-likeness. Their generosity was evidence of their increasing maturity. And he wanted them to know how proud he was of them. "…you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty" (Philippians 4:14 NLT). For Paul, the emphasis was not on the gift, but on the givers. He even let them know that he could have done without their gift. He had been perfectly content before their gift had even arrived. This is the part that most of us have a hard time getting out heads around. Paul comes across as rude and ungrateful, almost arrogant. But his point was that his contentment was not contingent upon material goods or circumstances. Paul is under house arrest in Rome. He has limited freedom and no known source of income. And yet, throughout this entire letter, Paul has spent no time complaining about his circumstances or the less-than-perfect conditions under which he is having to live.

Instead, Paul reveals that he is perfectly content. Why? Because over the years, he had learned the secret to contentment. Their gift, while it may have improved Paul's circumstances to one degree or another, had nothing to do with his outlook on life. Whether he had a lot or a little, Paul was content. Material things did not improve his mood. An empty stomach and hunger pangs could not ruin his day or shake his confidence in God. The degree of his neediness had no bearing on his joyfulness. "I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is why a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little" (Philippians 4:12 NLT). So what was this secret? Paul expresses it in the very next verse. "For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength? (Philippians 4:13 NLT). Paul didn't simply harness the power of positive thinking. He wasn't an optimist or some kind of Pollyanna who had an unrealistic outlook on life. He had Christ and Christ was all he needed. His relationship with Christ made it possible for him to endure any and all circumstances. Christ had become everything to him. He was even content to suffer on behalf of Christ. Paul didn't see his suffering as a punishment, but a privilege. It allowed him to experience a little bit of what His Lord and Savior had experienced on his behalf. Which is why Paul wrote earlier, "I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death" (Philippians 3:10 NLT). Rather than focus on his circumstances, Paul had learned to keep his eyes on Christ. He focused his attention on the one who had given His life and made possible abundant life for all who placed their faith in Him. Paul knew that circumstances were a lousy litmus test of God's love. Which is why he had written to the believers in Rome long before he ended up in prison there, "I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39 NLT).

Paul knew that Christ had made it possible for him to have a right relationship with God, and nothing could ever change that. A prison sentence couldn't alter Paul's relationship with God. Lack of food didn't represent a lack of God's love. Less-than-perfect circumstances were a lousy indicator ofGod's unwavering faithfulness. Paul was content to know that he was in Christ and right with God. With Christ's help, he could endure anything and everything. You could take away everything Paul had – his freedom, health, relationships, rights – and he would be content, because he still had Christ. The greater English pastor and theologian, C. H. Spurgeon put it well in his poem, The Soul Satisfied in Christ.

He who delights in the possession of the Lord Jesus has all that heart can wish. As for 'created things', they are like shallow and deceitful brooks-- they fail to supply our needs, much less our wishes. "The bed of earthly enjoyment is shorter than that a man can stretch himself on it, and the covering narrower than that he can wrap himself in it."

But in Jesus there is room for imagination's utmost stretch and widest range. When Jesus is enjoyed, He puts a fullness into all other mercies.

The creature without Christ is an empty thing, a lamp without oil, a bone without marrow. But when Christ is present our cup runs over, and we eat bread to the full.

A dinner of herbs, when we have communion with Him, is as rich a feast as a stalled ox; and our narrow cot is as noble a mansion as the great house of the wealthy.

Go not abroad, you hungry wishes of my soul-- stay at home, and feast on Jesus; for abroad you must starve, since all other beloveds are empty and undesirable. Stay with Christ, and eat that which is good, and delight yourself in fatness.

Father, we tend to love the gift more than the giver. We put way too much stock in the things of this earth, instead of in our relationship with You and Your Son. Help us learn to be content with and satisfied in Christ. May we grow ever more content with knowing that we are loved by You and understand that we are heirs of a much more valuable kingdom to come. Our circumstances on this earth are not a reliable reflection of our worth and should not be the source of our joy. If we have Christ, we have all we need. Amen.

Some Things Are Best Left to God.

Proverbs 19

“Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.” – Proverbs 19:14 NLT

As a father, I feel a real pressure to be the provider for my family. I have a strong work ethic and have had instilled inside me the determination to work hard so that I can take care of the needs of my wife and kids. I haven't always done it well or consistently, and I may not provide at the same level as other men do, but I have never failed to put food on the table or clothes on their backs. Even in times of job loss or financial difficulty, I have inherently known that I have a God-given responsibility to be the bread-winner for my family. I am not leaving God out of the equation, because I am fully aware that it is He who provides for all of our needs. And when times have been tough, I have never failed to turn to Him for help. But I know that God wants me to work hard. He wants me to use my talents and abilities wisely. He wants me to work diligently and faithfully. God gets glory when we put in an honest day's work. So there is nothing inherently wrong in having a healthy sense of responsibility about our need to provide.

But it can get out of whack if I allow myself to think that I can provide EVERYTHING my family needs. I have to constantly remind myself that I am limited in my capacity to provide. I can't provide my children with salvation. I can't provide my wife with contentment. I can't provide my home with peace. I can try to create the right kind of atmosphere where those things can prosper and find a home, but I can't provide them. Only God can do that. And Solomon reminds me that while I can provide an inheritance for my children made up of homes and financial assets, I can't provide a single one of them with a godly mate. I can't give my sons understanding wives or my daughters compassionate husbands. I have to leave that up to God. And to be honest, that scares me, because it leaves some pretty important things out of my control! What could be more important, life-changing, and potentially life-damaging than for one of your kids to marry the wrong kind of person? It happens all the time and we have all watched the painful results. It produces homes filled with unhappiness, unfulfilled dreams, disappointment, pain, heartache, and all kinds of mental, emotional and, sometimes, physical abuse. But God is reminding us that there are just some things we can't control or contribute. I have to trust God. I have to remind myself that so much of what I DO provide is of little value in comparison to what God makes possible. We all know that beautiful homes and lots of money are no consolation in a marriage where love and understanding are missing. Money may buy a bit of happiness, but it can't produce joy.

I think if you take this verse in the context of the Book of Proverbs, you will see that it is a subtle reminder that we need to plead with our kids and point our kids toward God – who is the only source of the wisdom, understanding, knowledge, common sense, discernment and good judgment that they will need to live well in this life. Because while God CAN give an understanding wife, unless your son has the discernment and good judgment to recognize the value of an understanding wife, he may just as easily reject that woman when she shows up in his life. God makes all kinds of good gifts and gracious treasures available to us each and every day, but it is due to our lack of godly wisdom that we walk right past them. We are too foolish to recognize the gifts of God right in front of our noses. So I believe Solomon is reminding us as dads (and moms) that there are some things we can't provide for our children. We will have to trust God for those things. But we also need to prepare the hearts of our children to receive the wisdom of God so that they can accept the good gifts He has for them in the future. Which is why Solomon constantly reminds his sons to listen to his commands and instructions. He pleads with them to "Keep their words always in your heart" (Proverbs 6:20), "write them deep within your heart" (Proverbs 7:3), "let them penetrate deep into your heart" (Proverbs 4:21). It is the wisdom of God within the hearts of our children that will help them recognize and receive the good things God has in store for them – such as an understanding wife and a godly husband.

Father, never let me forget that You are the ultimate and only provider for myself and my family. I need to point them to YOU as their provider, not me. I need to challenge them to accept Your wisdom into their hearts, not settle for my petty provisions. Nothing I can give them will last. But all that You provide is eternal and secure. Amen.

The Source of True Pleasure.

 Proverbs 10

"Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible." – Proverbs 10:23 NLT

Pleasure is the treasure all men seek. Every man and woman, old or young, is on a perpetual journey seeking to find a reliable source of pleasure or enjoyment. And the world is constantly offering up a wide range of alternatives from which to choose. Some are innocent enough, like food or relationships. But others can be destructive to ourselves as well as those around us. Pleasure is a God-given reaction that is inherently good, but it can be perverted by sin and man's inherent selfishness. In this verse we are gold that "doing wrong is fun for a fool." The word translated "fun" literally means "sport" in the Hebrew language. It is exhilarating and pleasurable. It paints the picture of a child at play, smiling with pleasure and enjoyment as a result of whatever activity he is doing. You've seen it before in children who are laughing uncontrollably as they swing higher and higher on a swing set in the park. It is a child who smiles broadly at the sight of an ice cream cone or the news of a day at the zoo. But in this verse, the fool is smiling at the thought of doing what is wrong. He finds pleasure and enjoyment in doing what is ungodly and unrighteous. It brings him pleasure. It makes him smile. What a disturbing picture of the perversity of sin. It warps our minds and distorts our perspective. What is good becomes bad. What is bad becomes good. It is not how God intended it to be, but it is where we end up when we decide to live apart from His plan for our lives.

But the person of understanding, who has received wisdom from God, finds his pleasure from living wisely. He finds enjoyment from doing what is right, not wrong. Wickedness is repulsive to him. Living righteousness and obediently before God puts a smile on his face. Putting others ahead of himself is something he enjoys, not dreads. Serving selflessly makes him happy. Saying no to temptation brings him far more pleasure than giving in. Doing what is right isn't a burden, but a blessing. But it all begins with wisdom, with a healthy fear of God and an understanding that God's way is always the best way. He has learned to put his hope in God and His promises, not the deceptive offers of this world. "The hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked come to nothing" (Proverbs 10:28 NLT). Hoping in God results in true happiness. Resting in His promises produce real pleasure. Living life according to God's terms puts a smile on the face and joy in the heart.

Father, pleasure comes from You, not this world. Don't let me get sucked into believing the lies of the enemy and giving in to the temptations he offers up. They will never result in true pleasure or real joy. Only You can provide those things in my life. Amen