23 But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.
1 For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4 ESV
Even as an apostle of Jesus Christ, Paul did not see himself as spiritually superior to the Corinthians. He viewed himself as their ally and an asset to their spiritual development. He claims, “we work with you for your joy” (2 Corinthians 1:24 ESV). He, Silas, and Timothy were tools in God’s hands, used by Him to assist the Corinthians in their growth and development. And despite the issues within the Corinthian church, Paul still believed they were firm in their faith. This made his decision to delay his visit easier, and he believed it was God's will.
But there was another reason he postponed his visit: to keep from causing them pain and sorrow. Evidently, Paul had made a second visit to Corinth sometime between his original visit when he helped establish the church there. It was on this second visit that he had to deal with particularly difficult circumstances in the church. He knew his arrival in Corinth had caused them great pain because being reprimanded is never easy, and having to be the one to call them out had not been enjoyable for Paul either. So, he says, “I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved” (2 Corinthians 2:1-2 NLT).
It pained Paul to reprimand those he loved. This reveals his pastor’s heart and his deep care and affection for the believers in Corinth. They were his children in the faith, and he had a deep and abiding love for them and felt a strong sense of responsibility for their spiritual well-being.
Instead of paying them a potentially painful visit, Paul decided to write them a letter.
That is why I wrote to you as I did, so that when I do come, I won’t be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you all know that my joy comes from your being joyful. – 2 Corinthians 2:3 NLT
The letter, now lost, was evidently quite blunt and caused Paul “great anguish” to write. Whatever he wrote had caused him great sorrow and left him in tears, but it was necessary and written in love.
It was Paul’s hope and desire that the Corinthians would take seriously the painful rebuke and loving reprimand found in his letter and do something about it. What he had written had been for their good, and he longed for them to heed his words and change their ways. Otherwise, when he did finally visit them, it would be another painful reunion.
While Paul cared for the Corinthians, he loved them too much to allow them to continue in sin. His affection for them was rooted in the love of Christ and in his knowledge that he was responsible to God for their spiritual welfare. Paul did not enjoy or take pleasure in hurting them; he simply wanted to see them enjoy all that God had in store for them. He desired that they experience all the full measure of the abundant life that Christ made possible by His death on the cross. Later in this letter, Paul explains the harsh tone of his previous letter.
I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NLT
Paul found joy in their repentance, not in their happiness. To refrain from telling someone the truth just because you don’t want to cause them pain is not love; it is a twisted form of hate. To knowingly allow them to continue in sin would be cruel and make you an accomplice in their sin. You would be enabling their sinful behavior by remaining silent.
Too often, as Christians, our fear of losing face or friends keeps us from saying what needs to be said. But Paul believed that holiness was far more important than happiness. Our love for one another is best expressed in our unwillingness to tolerate sin in one another’s lives. Which is why Paul told the Colossian believers: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 ESV).
Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him” (Luke 17:3 ESV). Solomon wrote, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:3 ESV). King David understood the value of the loving rebuke of a godly friend.
Let the godly strike me!
It will be a kindness!
If they correct me, it is soothing medicine.
Don’t let me refuse it. – Psalm 141:5 NLT
Tough love is tough to pull off because it is difficult to confront those we love. It caused Paul pain to say what he had to say to the Corinthians, but it was necessary. It was the godly thing to do. He told the Corinthians that he wrote his previous letter “to let you know how much love I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT).
When we care more for another believer’s holiness than for their happiness, we truly love them. When we’re willing to risk their rejection to bring about their repentance, we demonstrate our love for them. When we make their relationship with God a higher priority than their friendship with us, we are loving them as Christ loved us. As Solomon said, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Strong words spoken from a sincere and loving heart may cause momentary pain, but in the long run, they will produce the fruit of righteousness.
Father, nobody likes to have their sins exposed or their faults pointed out, but the truth is that we are sometimes the last ones to see what is painfully obvious to others. Yet, most of us avoid confronting the sin we see in other’s lives because we fear rejection or suspect that they will point the finger of accusation back at us. However, our silence does nothing to change their behavior or assuage our responsibility to love them enough to confront them. Father, before Your Son began His earthly ministry, You sent John the Baptist to call the people to repentance. Even Jesus’ preached the same message, calling people to acknowledge their sinfulness and their need for a Savior. He is the one who said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners” (Mark 2:17 NLT). He loved us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves. Then He went to the cross to pay the penalty we owed and provide a cure for our sinful condition. Give me the same passion to expose the sins in those I claim to love. Don’t allow me to let getting along to outweigh my responsibility to build up the body of Christ. Amen
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.