Tough Love

1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.

3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. – 1 Corinthians 5:1-8 ESV

Paul has threatened to come to Corinth, wielding a rod of discipline like a father to his disobedient children. And there is more going on within the Corinthian congregation than simply their prideful bickering over who is following which leader. While they were busy arguing over whether Paul was better than Apollos or Cephas was a better leader than Paul, other sins had crept into the congregation. They had been so busy boasting over their spiritual superiority that they had failed to recognize what was happening right under their noses. In fact, according to Paul, it didn’t even bother them.

Paul had received word that there was a man in the church who was having sexual relations with his father’s wife. It seems that this involved the man’s stepmother, not his biological birth mother. And there is some indication that the man’s father was no longer alive. But Paul still referred to what was going on as “sexual immorality.” The Greek word he used is πορνεία (porneia). The Greeks primarily used this word to refer to prostitution or the act of engaging a prostitute and paying for sexual pleasure. But the Jews had adapted the word and given it a much more robust meaning. For them, it covered “adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, and intercourse with animals, etc.” (“G4202 - porneia - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible).

Paul seems to be using the word with its Hebrew meaning in mind. He describes what is going on as a form of porneia “that is not tolerated even among pagans” (1 Corinthians 5:1 ESV). The non-Christians in Corinth would never have condoned a man sleeping with his father’s wife, even if she was a widow. And yet the church was not only tolerating it, but they were also evidently proud of it.

“It is this lack of a sense of sin, and therefore of any ethical consequences to their life in the Spirit, that marks the Corinthian brand of spirituality as radically different from that which flows out of the gospel of Christ crucified. And it is precisely this failure to recognize the depth of their corporate sinfulness due to their arrogance that causes Paul to take such strong action as is described in the next sentence.” – Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, p. 203

As a fellowship, they displayed no remorse, regret, or repentance. Their understanding of Christianity was missing any ethical or moral dimension. It seems that they had allowed their faith in Christ to become nothing more than a pursuit of knowledge that lacked any influence over their behavior.

Paul calls them proud and arrogant. It is as if they believed that their moral tolerance was somehow a badge of honor. They were distorting the concept of grace by turning a blind eye to the sin taking place among them. Paul accuses them of being accepting and tolerant of anything and everyone. They had somehow rationalized the man’s behavior, deeming it not only acceptable but normal. However, Paul had a radically different view. He demanded that they “throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed” (1 Corinthians 5:5 NLT).

Paul practiced a zero-tolerance policy when it came to sexual sin. Evidently, this man displayed no repentance or even remorse. He had not confessed his sin to the congregation, asking for forgiveness and pledging to change his behavior. He was arrogantly practicing his immorality right in front of them, and they were readily accepting of it.

Paul’s recommendation to turn this man over to Satan simply means that they were to cast him out of their fellowship and allow him to suffer the consequences of his immoral decision. Paul firmly believed in the truth that you reap what you sow. He told the Galatian believers: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8 ESV). He wrote something similar to the believers in Rome.

But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. – Romans 6:21 ESV

Two verses later, he added, “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23 ESV). While a life of sin ultimately leads to physical death, it can also bring about spiritual death, even while we still draw breath. Paul was suggesting that they remove this man from their midst and allow him to reap the full consequences of his immoral choices. The English Standard Version translates verse 5 as “you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh.”

Certain commentators believe Paul was referring to the man’s physical death. The Greek word Paul uses is σάρξ (sarx), and while it can refer to the physical body, it was also commonly used to refer to “the sensuous nature of man, ‘the animal nature’” or “the animal nature with cravings which incite to sin” (“G4561 - sarx - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible). It would seem that Paul was interested in seeing this man suffer the consequences of his immoral lifestyle. It recalls the words he wrote in his letter to the Romans, when he spoke about the sinfulness of mankind.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves…For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. – Romans 1:24, 26-27 ESV

For Paul, the issue was the moral state of the church. This man’s sin was like yeast that, if tolerated, was going to spread through the entire congregation. Undisciplined sin in the body of Christ is like cancer that will eventually permeate its way through the fellowship, leaving a path of destruction in its wake. The prideful permissiveness of sin in the body of Christ can be dangerous and deadly, and our willingness to tolerate unacceptable behavior among fellow believers usually has little to do with the practice of grace. However, it has everything to do with complacency and a lack of understanding about the corporate culpability of sin.

The church is an organism and, like the human body, every part has an influence on every other part. There is no such thing as individual or isolated sin; no one sins in a vacuum. And Christ’s call for us to love one another includes the kind of love that cares about the spiritual well-being of one another. To think that the sin of a brother or sister in Christ will not eventually impact the body is naive. The overall health of the body of Christ is completely dependent upon the health of its members. When we tolerate sin, we allow the enemy to gain a foothold in our midst, and his most successful offensive tactic is to destroy the body of Christ from within. That is why Paul so boldly demanded, “Get rid of the old ‘yeast’ by removing this wicked person from among you. Then you will be like a fresh batch of dough made without yeast, which is what you really are” (1 Corinthians 5:7 NLT).

Refusal to practice moral purification would result in putrification. The sins of the one would infect the many. Tolerance would lead to complacency and compromise. Out of love for the body of Christ and respect for the name of Christ, Paul demanded that the Corinthians do the right thing and remove this “cancer” without delay. Paul was not displaying hatred for the sinner; he was voicing his concern for the well-being of the local fellowship. The immediate removal of this man would serve as a much-needed wake-up call, clearly communicating the inappropriateness of his actions and the unacceptability of their willing approval. Paul

Paul would have shared the view voiced by James in the letter that bears his name.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Father, the truth is, we can be just as tolerant towad and permissive of sin within our own fellowships. Something in us causes us to shy away from confrontation and to turn a blind eye to the sin in our midst. Perhaps we fear having someone point out our own moral failures. So, we keep our mouths shut and silently tolerate behavior that You have deemed unacceptable and destructive. We have somehow confused tolerance with love. But ignoring sin doesn’t make it go away. Refusing to deal with it doesn’t make it any less dangerous and deadly. Give us the boldness to speak the truth in love. Raise up those within our congregations who will be strong enough to confront sin and prevent it from spreading like cancer in the body of Christ. Help me be a loving leader like Paul, who was willing to say the difficult things and call Your people to do the right thing, all for the sake of Your glory and the good of Your people. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Love, Not Tolerance.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. – 2 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV

Something had happened within the church at Corinth. There was some situation that had taken place about which Paul was compelled to write a now-lost letter. In that letter he had be forced to confront the issue. He writes, “although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong” (2 Corinthians 7:12 ESV). Paul says the purpose in having written them his confrontational letter had been to reveal to them just how truly loyal they were to him and his leadership. Evidently the individual to whom Paul refers had been critical of his ministry and authority, and “the one who suffered the wrong” had been Paul himself. Paul always had critics. There was no shortage of those individuals who questioned his apostleship or argued against his authority. Whoever this individual was, he had been misleading the church and undermining all the work Paul had done there. So, in this letter, Paul is following up with the Corinthians, after having heard back from Titus, whom he had sent to check on the situation first-hand. The report from Titus was encouraging. “Therefore we are comforted,” Paul proudly states. They had remained committed to Paul’s teaching and committed to following his leadership. In fact, Paul states that any grief or sorrow his letter might have produced, had resulted in “a repentance that leads to salvation without regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10 ESV). That is why he can refer to it as godly sorrow, rather than worldly sorrow. The sorrow associated with this world can only produce death. Sorrow over sin that does not result in a willingness to repent of it can not produce life change. Sorrow over sin that does not drive us to the foot of the cross for cleansing by Christ’s blood can never produce life. Worldly sorrow can only produce despair, resentment, anger, and a growing callousness. We find ourselves becoming less and less sorrowful over our sin, finally reaching the point where we claim that we have not sinned at all.

But for believers, godly sorrow produces repentance, and repentance leads to forgiveness. Paul points out that the sorrow of the Corinthians had had a positive outcome.

Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. – 2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT

It had revealed their desire to do what was right. They had been saddened at the thought that their actions had caused Paul pain. They were motivated to show him that they remained faithful to him. It alarmed them that their behavior had led Paul to question their loyalty. And they realized that they had been lax in dealing with the one who had been causing the trouble.  All Paul had done was point out their sin. The Holy Spirit had done the rest. He had used the words of Paul to convict the Corinthians and the outcome was their repentance and the restoration of their relationship with Paul.

Paul even comments that Titus had been encouraged by his visit to check on the Corinthians. Paul says, “his spirit has been refreshed by you all” (2 Corinthians 7:13b ESV). He returned joyful and telling Paul that all his boasts about the Corinthians had been true.

Paul ends this section of his letter with the word, “I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). It is the same he started it. “I have great confidence in you; I take great pride on your behalf. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in the midst of all our suffering” (2 Corinthians 7:4 NET). Paul was encouraged greatly by the news that the Corinthians had not wandered away from the faith or rejected his role as their spiritual father. He had a deep, deep longing to see them grow spiritually. He had a father’s heart that desired to protect his spiritual children from harm and to keep them from straying away from the truth. So the news that they remained faithful was enough to help Paul make it through the trials and troubles he faced as he continued to share the gospel throughout Macedonia and the surrounding regions. He could rest easy knowing that his flock in Corinth remained safe and secure. His loving confrontation had resulted in their sorrow. Their sorrow had led to their repentance. And their repentance had resulted in their salvation. They had been rescued or delivered from a potentially destructive path. Because of the love of Paul and with the help of the Holy Spirit, they had been able to make a course correction and return to the path God had intended for them to follow. But what if Paul had never written that now-missing letter? What if he had chosen to ignore their sin? What if he had refused to confront them because he didn’t want to offend them? Love is not the same as tolerance. Godly love is willing to say the hard thing. It compassionately confronts. It affectionately admonishes. Allowing a brother or sister in Christ to continue in sin because you don’t want to offend them isn’t love. That would be like allowing your child to play in the street because you don’t want to spoil all their fun, because you don’t want to come across as the “bad” parent. But that’s not love, it’s a subtle and dangerous form of child abuse. Godly love is willing to hurt. Godly love is willing to produce godly sorrow, because godly sorrow leads to repentance and life.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Tough Love.

2 Corinthians 2:1-13

I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn't want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT

Paul's love for the Corinthians believer was like that of a father for his children. He was proud of them and felt a strong responsibility for their welfare. He worried about their spiritual health and was concerned for survival in the high-pressure context of a pagan city like Corinth. So Paul wrote them words of encouragement and instruction, as he did in 1st Corinthians. But there were times when he had to take a harsher, sterner tone, in order to deal with actions and attitudes that were dangerous and un-Christlike. Paul loved the believers in Corinth enough to say things that caused them sorrow – for the time being. He evidently wrote a second letter, which commentators refer to as "the sorrowful letter," which has been lost. Paul refers to it in verse 3: "That is why I wrote you as I did, so that when I do come, I won't be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy." He had written them a letter containing some strong words and loving admonitions. He had written that letter "in great anguish."  It had been accompanied by "a troubled heart and many tears." Paul loved them very much, but he loved them enough to say things they needed to hear, but that were hard to listen to. His words were written in love, not anger. They were expressed out of heartfelt concern, not pride or arrogance. But his words hurt all the same. And he knew it.

Paul had a reason behind his words. They were not written flippantly or thoughtlessly. "I wrote to you as I did to test you and see if you would fully comply with my instructions" (2 Corinthians 2:9 NLT). It was vitally important to Paul that they accept him for who he was – an emissary of Jesus Christ, a God-sent messenger of the gospel and a legitimate apostle of the Church. He wasn't on some kind of an ego trip, but was simply trying to get them to understand that he spoke on behalf of and with the complete authority of God Himself. It was essential that they listen to and obey what he said. He was not just sharing his opinions, but the word of God and the message of Jesus Christ. Paul was dealing with some specific issues going on in the church in Corinth. There was a situation that involved a member of the congregation that had caused a great deal of division and strife in the church. It may have been the man Paul dealt with in 1st Corinthians who had had an immoral relationship with his step-mother. It could have been someone who had personally insulted Paul by speaking against him and leading the church into accepting false teaching. But whoever the man was, he had been opposed by the church, punished for his sin, and now it was time to reconcile and restore the relationship. Paul urged them "to reaffirm your love for him" (2 Corinthians 2:8 NLT). He wanted them to extend grace, love and mercy to this man and restore him to the fellowship. Paul knew that Satan would love nothing more than to divide the church from within. He knew that the enemy would be far more successful destroying the cause of Christ if he could cause division and disunity among believers. External pressure tends to solidify and strengthen the church. But internal strife causes cracks and chasms to weaken the spiritual infrastructure of the church, diminishing its power and effectiveness.

Paul loved the cause of Christ too much to allow that to happen. He was not going to stand idly by and watch the Corinthian believers self-destruct. So he said what needed to be said. He spoke the truth, but always with love. When he spoke, he shared God's will, not his own. He was not driven by ego or self-preservation, but out of love for the Kingdom of God and the spread of the gospel message around the world. He knew that the greatest barrier to the gospel's expansion was a weakened church. Compromise, complacency, disharmony and disunity among God's people would be deadly to the cause of Christ. Unforgiveness, hatred, resentment, jealousy, pride, self-centeredness, and injustice had no place among God's people. And when Paul saw these things, he spoke against them. Paul had told them what God expected of them. "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT).

Paul loved the believers in Corinth. He loved them enough to speak truth. He loved them enough to cause them sorrow, if only for the moment. Because he knew that exposing their sin was essential if they were to grow. Later on, in his letter to the believers in Ephesus, Paul would write, "Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church" (Ephesians 4:15 NLT). Love is honest. It does not lie or tolerate falsehood. Love doesn't overlook sin, but confronts it. Love doesn't minimize unrighteousness, but exposes it. Love can hurt, but love never fails.

Father, help me learn to love like Paul did. Show me how to speak truth, Your truth, in such a way that it results in conviction and produces righteousness in the lives of others. Show me how to say what needs to be said, but always in love, not out of pride, arrogance or ever with a heart filled with hatred. Amen.