Her Holiness Trumps Your Happiness

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV

In the previous two verses, Paul stated that wives are to submit to their husbands. That’s not exactly a popular topic among most women today. It sounds so archaic and comes across as demeaning and dismissive of women. But we must remember that this entire section of Paul’s letter is calling all believers to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. His reference to wives and husbands was simply a practical application of what mutual submission looks like in real life.

But the one thing that gets overlooked in this whole discussion of submission is the interrelatedness that God intends. In His divine plan, submission was not intended to be a one-way affair. Yes, wives were expected to submit to their husbands, but notice that Paul calls husbands to love their wives. And here is the important distinction: Believing husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. There is an inferred expectation of sacrifice and selflessness involved in the kind of love Paul is describing. It is an other-oriented love that suppresses its own rights and desires for the well-being of another.

However, Paul goes on to describe this kind of love as a form of self-love, because “husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28 ESV). For the husband, there is no me-versus-her agenda. In God’s eyes, his very existence is permanently linked to that of his wife. That is why Jesus taught that it was God’s will that a husband and wife become “one flesh.”

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,  and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Mark 10:6-9 ESV

The husband is to value his wife’s life as much as his own. It is as if she has become a part of him. He is to love her as he loves his own body, nourishing and cherishing her in the same way that Christ does the church. Christ not only sacrificed His life for the church, but He also constantly intercedes on Her behalf. Even now, His full attention is focused on the church. Paul tells us, “Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us” (Romans 8:34 NLT). Paul then goes on to ask, “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love?” (Romans 8:35 NLT). This rhetorical question is meant to be answered with a resounding “No!”

In the same way, there is nothing that should separate the love of a husband for his wife. Nothing she says or does should cause him to fall out of love with her. Now that is a tall order and a high expectation, but Paul doesn’t stop there. He adds that the husband is to make it his life's goal to sanctify his wife, sometimes despite her and without her full cooperation. Even when she refuses to submit to him, he is to sanctify her.

But what does Paul mean when he calls husbands to sanctify their wives? Isn't that the job of the Spirit of God? Paul is using Christ’s love for the church as an illustration of the kind of love men are to have for their wives. Christ gave Himself up for the church, sacrificing His life so that the church might be sanctified. The Greek word Paul used is hagiazō, which means “to set apart, consecrate, or make holy.” Earlier in his letter, Paul wrote that God “blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV).

God’s desire is for His people to be holy or set apart, living in a way that reflects their status as His children. But sinfulness prevented us from living set-apart lives. Our unrighteousness kept us from living up to God’s holy standard.

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. – Romans 3:23 NLT

Jesus made our holiness possible by His sacrificial death on the cross.

Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. – Romans 3:24-25 NLT

Jesus sacrificed His life so that we could be made holy in God’s eyes. He took on our sin and imputed His righteousness to us. He did for us what we could not do for ourselves. And, in the same way, a believing husband should make his wife’s holiness his highest priority. Her holiness should take precedence over his own happiness. God has appointed husbands to steward their wives’ sanctification. While a godly husband cannot make his wife holy, he should always treat her as such. She is a gift from God, and He has charged the husband with caring for her spiritual well-being at all costs.  

Paul says that Christ cleansed the church by the washing of water with the word. This appears to refer to the gospel, the good news of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. Every believer who hears the gospel message and places their faith in Christ is cleansed from their sins. Water baptism is a statement of that reality as the believer is lowered into the water and symbolically “cleansed” from their sins. The emphasis in verse 26 is sanctification. It is not a command for men to read the Word over their wives in some kind of ritualistic purification rite.

It was Jesus’ death on the cross that provided their cleansing from sin. The point Paul seems to be making is that Jesus gave Himself up “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27 ESV). In the same way, the husband is to give himself up for his wife's spiritual edification; her holiness is to be his highest priority. His chief desire is for her to experience the fullness of life Jesus died for her to have (John 10:10). But that will require sacrifice, selflessness, and submission to the will of God. When a godly husband makes his wife’s holiness his highest priority, his own happiness will have to take a backseat.

Submission is difficult; our natural inclination is to refuse any thought of submitting to someone else. Loving as Christ loved is also a formidable task and runs counter to our natural disposition toward self-centeredness and self-preservation. But we have to remember that Paul is calling us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1 ESV). He is challenging us to undertake some serious remodeling.

…put off your old self…and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:22,24 ESV

He commands us to “walk in love, as Christ loved us” (Ephesians 5:2 ESV), as children of light (Ephesians 5:8).

Marriage is one of the primary venues God has chosen for us to model Christlikeness. He intended the marriage union to be a constant illustration of Christ and His love relationship with the church. It is to be a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love and the church’s obedient submission working in unison to accomplish God’s will. So Paul writes, “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). When we do, it is for the good of our marriage and the glory of God, and serves as a living testimony of our calling as His children.

Father, these are difficult verses and seem almost impossible to carry out in real life. Loving my wife with the same intensity and all-out commitment that Christ displayed for the church seems like a tall order that is beyond my capacity to pull off. But I know You never ask me to do anything in my own strength. As Jesus told His disciples, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 ESV). I can love my wife as Christ loved the church because You have placed Your Spirit within me and equipped me with all the power I need to do the impossible. By Your divine power, You have given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), including loving my wife selflessly and sacrificially. But, even then, I can still gravitate back to pursuing my happiness. I can easily place my desire for self-preservation and personal pleasure ahead of Your call to love my wife. I can even make my spiritual growth a higher priority than hers. But Jesus said, “It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26 BSB). And Jesus practiced what He preached, all the way to the cross, You are not asking that I die for my wife, but You are expecting me to die to myself. You are commanding me to love my wife selflessly and sacrificially, just as Your Son loved the church. Yes, it’s a tall order, but with You, all things are possible.  Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Hair, Headship, and Holiness

2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. 6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God. – 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 ESV

What in the world is Paul talking about in this passage? There is little debate that this is one of the hottestly debated sections in the Bible. There are those who write it off as just another example of Paul’s male chauvinism and unbridled misogyny. Others believe that we are obligated to adhere to Paul’s teaching regarding hair length and head coverings in the church today. Some have determined that Paul is addressing a cultural issue unique to Corinth that has no bearing on the modern church.

But if all Scripture “is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16 ESV), then it would seem prudent to discover what Paul is trying to tell us in these verses. Obviously, some of what Paul is addressing is cultural and contextual, and has to do with believers living in the Greek city of Corinth. They had to operate in an environment markedly different from the one in which we live. But that does not mean Paul’s remarks are entirely irrelevant or non-binding for the rest of us. There are timeless truths taught within these verses that apply to us as well.

The challenge is to discover the non-negotiable principles intended for the church in every age, and not to allow ourselves to be distracted or deterred by the seemingly incongruous and archaic arguments of Paul. Verse 3 is essential to understanding what Paul is trying to say in the passage:

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. – 1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV

The real point of this passage is authority; more specifically, God-ordained authority. As you can imagine, in the cultural context of Corinth in which Paul was trying to preach and teach, there were some strong objections to much of what he had to say. And the topic of authority or headship was one of the more controversial. So he lays out the God-ordained order of things:

The head of (authority over) Christ is God

The head of (authority over) man is Christ

The head of (authority over) the wife is her husband

Paul states that man, who was created by God, is “the image and glory of God” (1 Corinthians 11:7a ESV). Then he adds that “woman is the glory of man” (1 Corinthians 11:7b) because she was made from man. The creation account tells us that Eve was created by God from one of Adam’s ribs. So, Paul concludes, “man was not made from woman, but woman from man” (1 Corinthians 11:8 ESV). And while Paul does not state it directly, he infers that Jesus came from God, but not in the sense that He was created by God, because Jesus, like God, is eternal. The apostle John made this point quite clear in the opening of the gospel that bears his name.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. – John 1:1-4 ESV

But Jesus’ birth and incarnation were the work of God. Mary conceived because of the Spirit of God. All of this is to say that God has ordained an irrevocable order to things, and ever since the fall, mankind has been trying to turn that order on its head. It is interesting to note that, as a result of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Eve received a very specific curse. God said, “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16 NLT). One of the things that caused the fall to happen in the first place was that Adam failed to honor his God-ordained headship by allowing Eve to disobey the expressed will of God. It was to Adam that God had given His command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, Adam gave Eve the lead and allowed her to make the decision. So, “she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too” (Genesis 3:6 NLT).

The issue of head coverings and hair length appears to be culturally influenced. The real point is headship and the proper expression of it. A woman wearing a veil or head covering as a sign of submission to her husband’s authority, while culturally acceptable, did not necessarily mean that she was truly submissive. A man wearing his hair short as a sign of submission to the authority of God did not necessarily mean he actually lived under that authority. The outward evidences of submission mean nothing if the inward expression of submission is missing.

The bottom line about authority, headship, and submission is that each of us ultimately submits to God. Paul states, “But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God” (1 Corinthians 11:11-12 NLT). There is a God-ordained inter-dependency at work here. Eve was made from Adam, but every male since Adam has come from a woman. It is not that men are more important or of more value to God than women; it is about divinely orchestrated authority and responsibility. 

If we are not careful, we will spend all our time debating head coverings and hair length and miss Paul’s primary point of headship. There comes a point at which we have to reconcile ourselves with God’s will, even when it seems to contradict the world’s patterns and our own preferences. Jesus submitted to the will of God, even though it meant His death. Paul submitted to the will of Christ, taking the gospel to the Gentiles, even though his efforts were met with rejection and persecution.

Men are to submit to Christ, acknowledging Him as their head, even though it means giving up their rights and learning to love sacrificially and selflessly. Wives are to submit to their husbands and daughters are to submit to their fathers, as to the Lord. This divine order of things does not imply that the husband or father is wiser or knows better. As Paul told the Ephesians, each of us is to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NLT). And Peter reminds us, “humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor” (1 Peter 5:6 NLT).

We may not understand all that Paul is saying here; we may not even like what we do understand. But we must trust that God’s will regarding headship and submission is best. We must submit to His will and trust His wisdom. This passage has a lot more to say about holiness than it does about hair. God’s will regarding headship is not arbitrary or optional. He has a divine purpose behind all His commands, and the way they manifest will remain consistent over time, although their application may vary by cultural context. Are head coverings mandatory for women in the church? That question remains a hot-button topic in some denominations. But Paul’s greater concern was the state of the heart, not the exposure of one's hair. He was addressing the matter of headship, not head coverings. 

Is it sinful for men to wear hats? If we take this passage too literally, those are the kinds of conclusions we can draw from Paul’s words. But he would argue that we are missing the forest for the trees. In the first-century context of Corinth, head coverings for women were a societal norm. 

“In the Corinthian culture, women normally wore a head covering as a symbol of their submission to their husbands. Paul affirms the rightness of following that cultural mandate—to dispense with the head coverings on women would send the entirely wrong signal to the culture at large. In fact, Paul says that, if a Christian woman refuses her head covering, she might as well shave her hair off, too (verse 6). A woman who refused to wear a covering in that culture was basically saying, “I refuse to submit to God’s order.” Therefore, the apostle Paul is teaching the Corinthians that hair length or the wearing of a “covering” by the woman was an outward indication of a heart attitude of submission to God and to His established authority.” – "Should Christian Women Wear Head Coverings." GotQuestions.org. https://www.gotquestions.org/head-coverings.html.

Paul was encouraging the new believers in Corinth to refrain from doing anything that might damage Christ's reputation in their community. Women without head coverings would have been unacceptable in their cultural context. Men who covered their hair would have been viewed as effeminate and unmanly. This kind of behavior would have sent mixed signals to the unbelievers in Corinth, painting the church in a negative light. But, for Paul, the issue was always about headship and following God’s divine order. He wanted believers to live in a way that honored God by submitting to His divine order. 

Father, You have established an order for Your creation and, as Your children, we have been charged with maintaining that order as Your servants. You made man and woman in Your image, and we are to reflect that image to the world. You created marriage to reveal Your glory to the world as the husband and wife mirror Your sacrificial love and selfless service for one another in the roles You pre-ordained for them. We get into trouble when we decide we know better than You do. We create confusion and conflict when we try to rethink and reorder Your divine plan for the roles and relationships You have established. Chaos ensues, conflict erupts, and our role as Your image-bearers becomes blurry to a lost world that desperately needs to see Your will lived out in real time and clarity. Give us the strength to live out our calling according to Your will and not our own — for Your glory and the good of all those around us. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Man’s Wishes and God’s Will Collide

1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” –  Matthew 19:1-12 ESV

This is a difficult passage that has caused a great deal of contention and confusion over the centuries. And it’s likely that the disciples were left scratching their heads when they heard what Jesus had to say. These 12 verses deal with a topic that remains highly controversial to this day: Divorce among believers. And like so much of what Jesus taught, what He told His disciples seems to run counter to the prevailing sentiments of times in which they lived. Popular opinion would not line up with Jesus’ take on the matter. That’s why the Pharisees brought it up in the first place. They were trying to test or trick Jesus into saying something that could ruin His reputation among the people. Divorce was just as controversial then as it is now. And if Jesus attacked the peoples’ perceived right to divorce, it would alienate Him from the masses.

It could be that they were hoping He would take a similar tact as that of John the Baptist. It was John’s outspoken stance on divorce and remarriage that had resulted in his execution by Herod.

John also publicly criticized Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, for marrying Herodias, his brother's wife, and for many other wrongs he had done. So Herod put John in prison, adding this sin to his many others. – Luke 3:19-20 NLT

Matthew opens this chapter by stating that Jesus had traveled into “the region of Judea beyond the Jordan” – an area sometimes referred to as the Transjordan – which fell under the jurisdiction of Herod. The Pharisees were probably hoping that Jesus would speak against divorce as well, bringing down the wrath of Herod on his head.

Their question to Jesus was carefully worded: “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

Behind the question was their understanding or interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-2:

When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife…

The Pharisees interpreted this Old Testament passage to mean that God permitted divorce and approved of remarriage. But like so much of the Old Testament Scriptures, the Pharisees tended to read into it the meaning they wanted to get out of it. There were two contemporary rabbinic schools that differed in their interpretation of this passage in Deuteronomy. One group taught that it condoned divorce for just about any reason, while the other group took a more conservative view, stating that divorce was only permissible in the case of sexual immorality.

In His sermon on the mount, Jesus had come down on the conservative side of the debate.

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32 ESV

It would seem that the Pharisees had heard about Jesus’ stance on this issue and hoped to cause a stir among the people by getting Jesus to state His more conservative and less popular view.

The interesting point in all of this is the marked difference between Jesus’ area of emphasis and that of the Pharisees. They came asking a question about divorce. Jesus turned it into a lesson on marriage.

As Jesus was prone to do, He responded to their question with a question: “Have you not read…?” 

This unveiled inference by Jesus would have been like a slap in the face to the Pharisees, who prided themselves on their intimate knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures. But Jesus was about to school them on their understanding of God’s Word, taking them back to the book of Genesis. Paraphrasing the words of Moses regarding the God-ordained institution of marriage, Jesus asked them:

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6 ESV

Notice His emphasis: What God has joined together. Marriage is to be seen as a God-ordained union between a man and a woman. And no man is to separate that union. In that day and age, a woman was denied the right to divorce. But the husband was free to divorce his wife and, as many interpreted it, for any reason whatsoever, even for burning dinner.

But from God’s point of view, through the covenant of marriage, a man and woman became “one flesh.” They are united in an inseparable bond, sanctioned by God Himself. Marriage was to carry the idea of complementation, but also completeness. Two individuals, by covenanting together in marriage, were supernaturally bonded by God and made a completed whole. From that point forward, He saw them as one, not two.

But appealing to the words of Moses found in Deuteronomy 24:1, the Pharisees present Jesus with a follow-up question: “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” This was their perceived loophole. In their minds, it appeared that Moses had provided a clear and legal escape clause from the marriage bond. 

But the answer Jesus gave them most likely infuriated them.

“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” – Matthew 19:8 ESV

Notice that Jesus points the finger of culpability straight at the Pharisees. Even though the words of Moses were spoken hundreds of years earlier, Jesus applies them to the men standing right in front of Him. Their hearts were hardened. They were unwilling and incapable of abiding by God’s will concerning marriage. And Moses had made it clear that “from the beginning it was not so.” In other words, from the day God had ordained the institution of marriage, divorce was not to be an option. No man was to separate what God had joined together.

And it’s interesting to note what the Deuteronomy passage goes on to say about this topic.

…if she [a divorced woman] goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance. – Deuteronomy 24:2-4 ESV

Notice what Moses said. The woman who has been divorced and remarried is “defiled.” If she were divorced again and her first husband tried to remarry her, he would be committing an abomination before the Lord. It was totally unacceptable.

As usual, the Pharisees were looking for loopholes. They were seeking God-approved grounds for divorce. But Jesus was emphasizing the sanctity and holiness of marriage. Rather than looking for excuses to separate, Jesus wanted them to recognize God’s command to remain one. Moses made a concession for divorce because of man’s inherent sin problem. He was in no way condoning divorce. He was simply conceding man’s inability to do what God had called him to do: Remain in an inviolable relationship with his wife.

And Jesus reinforces the fact that divorce was not in God’s plan. He had not ordained it and would not condone it. But like all sins, it was inevitable. So, when divorce did take place, there was only one scenario that would be considered biblical grounds for divorce.

“…whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” – Matthew 19:9 ESV

And it’s interesting to note that the Pharisees, while quick to quote from Deuteronomy 24:1, seemed to ignore what Deuteronomy 22:22 had to say:

“If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel.”

This discussion led the disciples to question the whole viability of marriage. If remarriage after divorce was out of the question, because it would leave both individuals guilty of adultery, it seemed to make more sense to never marry in the first place. You can see that their view on marriage had been influenced by the idea of divorce as a potential get-out-of-jail-free card. If the marriage didn’t work out, they could always get a divorce. But Jesus had shut down that option.

Yet Jesus informed His disciples that celibacy was not an easy road to take. It had to be something that God led someone to do.

Jesus described three types of eunuchs. The term “eunuch,” referred to “one naturally incapacitated – for marriage” (G2135 - eunouchos - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (ESV) Blue Letter Bible). Some were born eunuchs. Others were made that way, through forced castration. But there was still another group of individuals who chose to remain unmarried. They were essentially eunuchs by choice, or as Jesus put it, “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” He would have been a case in point. Jesus never married, focusing all His energies on fulfilling the will of His Father.

As we will see, Jesus is beginning to set His eyes on the mission objective waiting for Him in Jerusalem. The storyline is quickly moving to its final stages. And Jesus, while teaching the disciples about issues that relate to everyday life, is trying to get them to understand that there are far more important things on the horizon than debates about marriage and divorce or arguments about who is the greatest in the kingdom. The cross looms large in Jesus’ mind. His destiny carries with it the shadow of death, but also the hope of the resurrection.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson