singleness

A Matter of Priorities.

1 Corinthians 7:25-40

But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away. – 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 NLT

As Paul continued to answer the questions he had received from the believers in Corinth, he summarized his response with a call to reconsider their priorities. Most of their questions had to do with whether certain things we worth doing or not. Should they get married or remain single? If they were married to an unbelieving spouse, should they leave them? Should a believing couple abstain from sex in order to make their marriage more holy? Paul's advice, considering the growing persecution they would face, was simple and direct: "I think it is best to remain as you are" (1 Corinthians 7:26 NLT). If you're single, stay that way. If you're married, remain so. But then he told them something incredibly significant that seemed intended to refocus their priorities. He informed them that the time was very short. They needed to have more short-term, rather than long-term goals and objectives. They needed to understand that there was going to be a day when the Lord returned. No one knows that day, but it is inevitable and unavoidable. Paul had no idea when the exact date of Christ's return would be, but he knew that his own time on earth was limited. He understood that this world is a temporary reality and has a limited shelf life. Most of the questions he had received from the Corinthians were evidence that they viewed this world and their life in it as a high priority. Paul was trying to give them a more eternal perspective.

The words of Paul is this passage are difficult for us to hear and even more difficult for us to agree with. He tells the married men, "So then those who have wives should be as those who have none" (1 Corinthians 7:29b NET). This sounds radical and even unbiblical. What is he saying? It would seem that Paul is trying to tell married men to not focus all their attention on their married state. He is not suggesting that they abandon their responsibilities as husbands or that they no longer love their wives as Christ loved the Church. He is telling them that nothing in this world – marriage, singleness, sorrow, happiness, material things or physical pleasures – should demand all our attention and distract us from our true calling as Christ-followers. "For this world as we know it will soon pass away" (1 Corinthians 7:31b NLT).

Paul wanted them to be free from the concerns of this life. He was not suggesting that they abandon their responsibilities and live some kind of ascetic lifestyle, denying themselves any kind of enjoyment or pleasure from this world. He was simply trying to get them to rethink their priorities and refocus their attention on what was really important. For Paul, it was simple. A single man or woman had more available time to serve the Lord. They could dedicate more of their life to Kingdom causes, without having to feel guilty that they were neglecting their marital responsibilities. The more earthly ties we have, the more difficult it will be for us to focus our attention on the things of heaven. This world has a way of distracting us from the things of God. It isn't that the things of this life are evil or wrong, but if we're not careful, we can end up focusing all our attention on temporal issues and lose sight of the fact that we are eternal beings and this world as we know it is not our final destination. At the end of the day, Paul just wanted the believers in Corinth to set the priorities of their lives so that they could serve the Lord as successfully as possible. "I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible" (1 Corinthians 7:35 NLT).

One of the constant risks for us as followers of Christ in this fallen world is to find our value and meaning from the things of this world. We cannot afford to let whether we are married or not define who we are. We cannot afford to let our possessions, or lack of them, define who we are. We cannot afford to let our sadness or happiness determine who we are. We must constantly remind ourselves that we are, first and foremost, disciples of Christ. We are His ambassadors. We are citizens of His Kingdom, not of this world. We are temporary residents in this temporal environment. This world is not our home. We must constantly protect ourselves from divided interests. Again, Paul is not encouraging the Corinthians or us to abandon our earthly responsibilities, but to manage them wisely. Our problem is that we tend to add more and more responsibilities and earthly distractions that keep us from focusing our attention on the spiritual aspect of our lives. We live under the delusion that this world is all there is and that we must grab as much of it as possible while there is time to do so. But the end result is that we become burdened down with distractions that take our eyes off the Lord and absorb all our time, preventing us from serving Him effectively. For Paul, serving God was priority number one. That objective had to be considered at all times. Anything that distracts us from making Him our highest priority has to be evaluated and re-prioritized. That does not mean that we have to leave our spouses, quit our jobs, abandon our friendships, sell all our possessions, or dedicate our lives to full-time Christian service. It simply means that we must never allow anything to become more important than our relationship with and dedication to God. The truth is, when we make Him our highest priority, we become better husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, employees and employers, friends, neighbors, and citizens. It is when we understand that we are to have no other gods, no other idols, no other sources of worth or worship, that we are able to live in this world, but not be absorbed by it.

Father, reset our priorities. Make us Kingdom people who live with the future in mind. Don't let us buy into the lie that this world is all there is and that we must grab as much of it as we can while we can. Don't let us lose sight of what is of real importance: Our relationship with You. Amen.

 

Right Where God Wants You.

1 Corinthians 7:1-24

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. – 1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT

The Corinthians had questions. Their new-found faith in Christ has raised some interesting issues and caused them to reach some dangerous conclusions. So the appealed to Paul by sending him a letter laced with questions concerning a wide variety of issues. Chapter seven of 1 Corinthians contains Paul's response. One of the first things they asked about was sexual relationships. This one was extremely confusing for them. They lived in a sexually charged society where sexual immorality was part of the daily worship in the pagan temples. Promiscuity was common place. Marital infidelity was rampant and almost expected. So one of the first questions they asked Paul was whether they should simply abstain from sexual relationships altogether. The problem was that some of them had come to view sex as something perverted and immoral, which led to them to conclude that they would be better off without it. It seems that others within the church were being tempted to take on the standards of the culture around them, where adultery was not only accepted, but expected. There were others who had come to faith in Christ, while their spouses had not. They were struggling with whether or not they should leave their unbelieving spouse. There were evidently some married couples in the church who had completely eliminated the sexual relationship from their marriage – all because they had mistakenly concluded that sex was sinful and wrong. Some, who were single, were struggling with whether or not they should get married at all. After all, if sex was immoral, then what purpose could there be in getting married. But by refusing to get married, these individuals were not eliminating their sexual desires. Their decision was leading to lust and potentially the sin of sex outside of marriage.

It would seem that Paul had been inundated with all kinds of questions in the letter he had received. And he methodically and patiently answers each and every one of them. But there is a phrase that Paul uses three separate times in his response. His repetitive use of this phrase was a not-so-subtle attempt to give it extra weight. He was trying to drive home an important message. After answering a number of their questions, Paul said, "Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you" (1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT). Just a few lines later, he repeats the same admonition: "Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you" (1 Corinthians 7:20 NLT). Then he said it one more time for emphasis. "Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you" (1 Corinthians 7:24 NLT). In their attempt to be "good Christians," the Corinthians believers were contemplating some serious, but misguided alterations to their lifestyles. Believing spouses were seriously considering walking out on their unbelieving partners – even if it meant leaving their children behind. To drive home his point, Paul used the illustration of circumcision. A man who had been circumcised prior to becoming a Christian would not need to try and reverse the procedure after coming to Christ. And a man who was uncircumcised prior to coming to Christ would not need to get circumcised post-conversion. Circumcision was not the point. It was obedience to God. Couples that were considering the elimination of sex from their relationship should think seriously and soberly before making a change of that magnitude. While there might be some short-term situations where abstinence made sense, it was not a good long-term strategy. Paul encouraged those Corinthian believers who had been slaves when they came to Christ to willingly remain slaves. He reminded them that it was more important that they understood they were now free from enslavement to sin and the world.

The Corinthians were confused and struggling with how to live out their faith in their daily lives. Paul seemed to be encouraging them to stay right where they were and watch God work in their current circumstances. How many times have you seen someone come to faith in Christ, then begin to question everything? Should they remain in school or in a certain relationship? Should they quit their job and go to seminary? Should they change careers and look for something more "spiritual?" Should they downsize their home and sell all their possessions? What Paul seems to be saying is that we all need to understand that God was fully aware of our circumstances when He called us. He knew our situation intimately and saved us in the midst of it. In Paul's mind, it made sense to stay right where you were when God saved you. This does not mean that we should not seek life change and transformation. But we have to understand that a change in circumstance will not make us more holy. Leaving an unbelieving spouse will not result in increased sanctification. When God saves someone, His intention is to set that person apart right where he is. He wants them to be salt and light in his current context. God saved Paul and then used him right where he was. He gave him a new message and a new purpose in life, but he left him in the same environment where he could be an influence on his former peers. Sometimes were are tempted to make wholesale changes to our lives when we come to Christ. But sometimes we need to sit pat and wait for God to show us what He would have us do. Remaining where we are and in the circumstances in which we were saved takes patience and faith. A married woman who becomes a believer will need the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to live in a home with a husband who remains unsaved and possibly antagonistic to her new-found faith. A new believer who finds himself working in a less-than-fulfilling job will need to trust God and wait for His direction before assuming that he would be better off somewhere else. God saved him right where he was. He knew his circumstances and probably had a purpose for converting him in the midst of that context. The question to ask is, "What would God have me do?"

If we're not careful, we could become so obsessed with making changes in our circumstances that would allow us to serve God more effectively, that we overlook the opportunities right in front of our face. So often, God has us right where He wants us. But we refuse to accept that reality. We get wrapped up in the questions of "What if...?" What if I weren't married? What if I weren't single? What if I had a different job? What if I lived in a different city? What if I stopped doing this and started doing that? What if didn't have all these responsibilities holding me back? What if? What if? What if? Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.

Father, it is so easy to play the "What if?" game We think a change in circumstances will change everything. And yet, You tend to have us right where You want us. If You want to change our circumstances, You are fully capable. Teach us to be content. I want to be able to say as Paul did, "...for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Amen.