7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:7-11 ESV
Paul understood well the necessity of marriage. He believed the institution of marriage had been ordained by God and, when treated properly, could provide believers with the full benefits of their sexuality as intended by God. As far as Paul was concerned, marriage was the only appropriate context for sexual expression between a man and a woman, because that was how God had planned it. However, Paul had a personal appreciation for singleness. Evidently, Paul was unmarried at the time this letter was written. It is uncertain whether Paul had ever been married. But when he writes, “I wish that all were as I myself am,” he is stating a personal opinion, not the will of God. He is not declaring singleness as preferable to marriage. He simply understood that marriage demands a great deal of commitment and sacrifice, requiring each person in the relationship to put the needs of the other ahead of their own.
For Paul, being single allowed him the freedom to dedicate all his time and attention to the spread of the gospel and to his ministry to the growing number of churches around the world. He truly believed that his state of singleness was a gift from God, and it was God who had given him the self-control to live as an unmarried man and to not, as he put it, “burn with passion.” He had a supernatural, God-given capacity to resist the temptations associated with singleness. Lust, an ever-present temptation for every single person, was not an issue for Paul.
Even Jesus alluded to the existence of this gift of singleness. One day, He was confronted by the Pharisees and asked whether it was “lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause” (Matthew 19:3b ESV). Quoting from the Old Testament, Jesus replied, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6 ESV). Jesus went on to explain that “whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:9 NLT). Jesus was declaring marriage to be a binding covenant between two individuals. This declaration led one of the disciples to conclude, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” (Matthew 19:10 NLT). To His unnamed disciple’s less-than-enthusiastic statement, Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this statement. Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” (Matthew 19:11-12 NLT).
Jesus Himself never married, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me” (John 6:38 ESV).
When it comes to ministry, singleness has its advantages, but it is not for everyone. So Paul goes on to address those who are married. He speaks first to the women, reminding them that they should not divorce their husbands. Paul was simply repeating the words of Jesus.
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” – Mark 10:11-12 NLT
Paul knew, as Jesus did, that God’s prohibition of divorce did not prevent it from happening. So they both commanded no remarriage after divorce. To do so was to commit adultery. Paul states that if a woman divorces her husband, “she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11a ESV). Then he adds, “and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:11b ESV).
Jesus seems to have given only one exception to His no-divorce mandate. When He stated, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 ESV), He appears to present sexual immorality on the part of one of the married partners as the only grounds for divorce. In the case of sexual immorality, the offending partner has broken the covenant of oneness. However, Paul emphasizes that whoever finds themselves divorced for whatever reason should remain single or be reconciled to their partner.
It is important to remember that Paul is calling the Corinthians believers to live out their faith in the midst of a dark, pagan culture where virtually anything was considered acceptable behavior. Divorce was commonplace, and sexual immorality was rampant. Sexual sins of all kinds were prevalent and regularly practiced. That is why he challenges the Corinthians to live lives worthy of their calling as followers of Christ. Their actions and attitudes were to be distinctly different than those of their unbelieving neighbors and friends. Their approach to life was to be determined by their faith, not their feelings. They were to be driven by a desire to please God, rather than the desire to pursue their own physical pleasures.
It is highly possible that some in the church in Corinth were divorcing their spouses to escape having sexual relations altogether. More than likely, these individuals were influenced by the philosophy of dualism that flourished in Greek culture. This pagan belief taught that anything associated with the body was evil. Divorce allowed them to experience “freedom” from involvement with sex altogether. But that outlook was unbiblical and un-Christian. While the culture around them was distorting God’s views on everything from marriage to human sexuality, Paul was reminding them that they were the church of God, “sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints” (1 Corinthians 1:2 ESV).
Like the Corinthians, we have been called to live lives that are set apart from the world. We are to be holy, different, and distinct. As God’s children, we exist to bring Him glory. As Paul declared to the believers in Ephesus, “we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).
Father, Your Son made it painfully clear when He stated, “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you” (John 15:9 NLT). Yet, we often live as if we are still part of this world and we convince ourselves that the world is our friend. But Jesus said the world would hate us just as it hated Him. This world is not our home, but we go out of our way to make ourselves comfortable here. We acclimate, accomodate, compromise, and attempt to co-exist with a system that stands opposed to all that we believe. Paul’s call to live distinctively different lives in the midst of a sin-filled, self-absorbed society still holds true today. Open our eyes to the reality of Your non-negotiable expectation that we live lives worthy of Your calling on our lives. Help us to stand out rather than blend in — for our good and Your glory. Amen
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.