sexual relationships

Right Where God Wants You.

1 Corinthians 7:1-24

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. – 1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT

The Corinthians had questions. Their new-found faith in Christ has raised some interesting issues and caused them to reach some dangerous conclusions. So the appealed to Paul by sending him a letter laced with questions concerning a wide variety of issues. Chapter seven of 1 Corinthians contains Paul's response. One of the first things they asked about was sexual relationships. This one was extremely confusing for them. They lived in a sexually charged society where sexual immorality was part of the daily worship in the pagan temples. Promiscuity was common place. Marital infidelity was rampant and almost expected. So one of the first questions they asked Paul was whether they should simply abstain from sexual relationships altogether. The problem was that some of them had come to view sex as something perverted and immoral, which led to them to conclude that they would be better off without it. It seems that others within the church were being tempted to take on the standards of the culture around them, where adultery was not only accepted, but expected. There were others who had come to faith in Christ, while their spouses had not. They were struggling with whether or not they should leave their unbelieving spouse. There were evidently some married couples in the church who had completely eliminated the sexual relationship from their marriage – all because they had mistakenly concluded that sex was sinful and wrong. Some, who were single, were struggling with whether or not they should get married at all. After all, if sex was immoral, then what purpose could there be in getting married. But by refusing to get married, these individuals were not eliminating their sexual desires. Their decision was leading to lust and potentially the sin of sex outside of marriage.

It would seem that Paul had been inundated with all kinds of questions in the letter he had received. And he methodically and patiently answers each and every one of them. But there is a phrase that Paul uses three separate times in his response. His repetitive use of this phrase was a not-so-subtle attempt to give it extra weight. He was trying to drive home an important message. After answering a number of their questions, Paul said, "Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you" (1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT). Just a few lines later, he repeats the same admonition: "Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you" (1 Corinthians 7:20 NLT). Then he said it one more time for emphasis. "Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you" (1 Corinthians 7:24 NLT). In their attempt to be "good Christians," the Corinthians believers were contemplating some serious, but misguided alterations to their lifestyles. Believing spouses were seriously considering walking out on their unbelieving partners – even if it meant leaving their children behind. To drive home his point, Paul used the illustration of circumcision. A man who had been circumcised prior to becoming a Christian would not need to try and reverse the procedure after coming to Christ. And a man who was uncircumcised prior to coming to Christ would not need to get circumcised post-conversion. Circumcision was not the point. It was obedience to God. Couples that were considering the elimination of sex from their relationship should think seriously and soberly before making a change of that magnitude. While there might be some short-term situations where abstinence made sense, it was not a good long-term strategy. Paul encouraged those Corinthian believers who had been slaves when they came to Christ to willingly remain slaves. He reminded them that it was more important that they understood they were now free from enslavement to sin and the world.

The Corinthians were confused and struggling with how to live out their faith in their daily lives. Paul seemed to be encouraging them to stay right where they were and watch God work in their current circumstances. How many times have you seen someone come to faith in Christ, then begin to question everything? Should they remain in school or in a certain relationship? Should they quit their job and go to seminary? Should they change careers and look for something more "spiritual?" Should they downsize their home and sell all their possessions? What Paul seems to be saying is that we all need to understand that God was fully aware of our circumstances when He called us. He knew our situation intimately and saved us in the midst of it. In Paul's mind, it made sense to stay right where you were when God saved you. This does not mean that we should not seek life change and transformation. But we have to understand that a change in circumstance will not make us more holy. Leaving an unbelieving spouse will not result in increased sanctification. When God saves someone, His intention is to set that person apart right where he is. He wants them to be salt and light in his current context. God saved Paul and then used him right where he was. He gave him a new message and a new purpose in life, but he left him in the same environment where he could be an influence on his former peers. Sometimes were are tempted to make wholesale changes to our lives when we come to Christ. But sometimes we need to sit pat and wait for God to show us what He would have us do. Remaining where we are and in the circumstances in which we were saved takes patience and faith. A married woman who becomes a believer will need the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to live in a home with a husband who remains unsaved and possibly antagonistic to her new-found faith. A new believer who finds himself working in a less-than-fulfilling job will need to trust God and wait for His direction before assuming that he would be better off somewhere else. God saved him right where he was. He knew his circumstances and probably had a purpose for converting him in the midst of that context. The question to ask is, "What would God have me do?"

If we're not careful, we could become so obsessed with making changes in our circumstances that would allow us to serve God more effectively, that we overlook the opportunities right in front of our face. So often, God has us right where He wants us. But we refuse to accept that reality. We get wrapped up in the questions of "What if...?" What if I weren't married? What if I weren't single? What if I had a different job? What if I lived in a different city? What if I stopped doing this and started doing that? What if didn't have all these responsibilities holding me back? What if? What if? What if? Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.

Father, it is so easy to play the "What if?" game We think a change in circumstances will change everything. And yet, You tend to have us right where You want us. If You want to change our circumstances, You are fully capable. Teach us to be content. I want to be able to say as Paul did, "...for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Amen.