unselfish love

Non-Discriminatory Love

4 I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. – Philemon 1:4-7 ESV

It’s not hard to recognize Paul’s intense and sincere love for Philemon. These are not the pious-sounding platitudes of a pastor; they are legitimate expressions of love from a close friend. And Paul tells his friend that news of his faith and love causes him to offer up prayers of thanksgiving to God. Paul is grateful for the tangible expressions of life change evident in Philemon’s life. His faith in Jesus Christ’s love for him has resulted in visible displays of selfless love for the people of God.

The apostle John used this same combination of faith in Jesus and love for others in his first letter.

And this is his commandment: We must believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he commanded us. – 1 John 3:23 NLT

And John went on to call for a consistent and persistent kind of love that would reflect the believer’s new relationship with their gracious and loving Father, who is the source of all love.

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. – 1 John 4:7-8 NLT

John emphasized that the believer’s capacity to love others was evidence of their newfound relationship with God. He had loved them enough to send His Son to die in their place as payment for their sins, and it was His unconditional love that made their love for others possible.

We love each other because he loved us first. – 1 John 4:19 NLT

But while Paul complimented Philemon on his love for others, you can sense that he is setting Philemon up. He is lovingly preparing his friend to hear news that will likely prove difficult to receive. Paul is going to challenge Philemon to love in a way that will test his faith and challenge his sense of right and wrong. Philemon doesn’t know it yet, but Paul has news about Onesimus, Philemon’s long-lost runaway slave.

Paul begins by explaining to Philemon the content of his ongoing prayers for him:

I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. – Philemon 1:6 NLT

Paul has already complimented Philemon on his love for others. Now he wants Philemon to know and experience the full impact of the gospel in his life. Paul deeply desired that his friend’s faith would grow in depth and intensity so that he might know and experience all the fullness of joy promised to him in Christ; the same joy Jesus promised His disciples.

“Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:9-13 ESV

Paul wanted more for Philemon. He was not content to allow his friend to rest on his laurels or to become complacent in his faith. While there was obvious evidence of fruit in Philemon’s life, there would always be room for further growth. Paul wanted Philemon to understand that God’s transformative work would never be complete in this life; it would be ongoing and never-ending. And Paul made it a habit to pray for the continual spiritual enlightenment of all those he loved and to whom he ministered.

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 1:18-20 NLT

Paul wanted Philemon to know that his love for others was contagious, having spread far beyond the confines of their local faith community. News of Philemon’s love had reached Paul's ears as he sat under house arrest in Rome. And Paul told him, “I have derived much joy and comfort from your love” (Philemon 1:7 ESV). But why? What was it about Philemon’s actions that caused Paul to rejoice and be encouraged? Paul provides the answer:  “because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you” (Philemon 1:7 ESV).

As an apostle, teacher, and fellow Christ-follower, Paul found great joy in watching believers live out their faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. When he witnessed the body of Christ functioning as intended, he couldn’t help but be encouraged. Unity and true community within Christ’s church were important to Paul. That’s why he told the church in Philippi, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:2-4 ESV).

At this point in the letter, Philemon had no idea what was coming. As he, Apphia, and Archippus read the letter together, he must have been deeply encouraged. But the other shoe was about to drop. Paul was preparing to test Philemon’s faith in a profound way. Philemon’s concept of what it means to love others was going to be stretched, and his ideas regarding justice and mercy were going to be challenged as never before. His secular and sacred worlds were about to collide, causing him to see his faith in a whole new light.

Philemon had a blind spot, but he was not alone. This is likely the reason Paul included Apphia and Archippus as recipients of his letter. The topic Paul was about to bring up would be controversial for every member of the local congregation that met in Philemon’s home. They would have known about Philemon’s runaway slave, and most, if not all of them, would have been familiar with and agreeable to Philemon’s legal rights as a master. In fact, some of them may have been slave owners themselves. But Paul was about to rock their collective world. It is estimated that 30-50 percent of the Roman Empire’s population in the 1st century was comprised of slaves. So, what Paul was about to say would shed unexpected new light on a well-accepted social structure that had become all too familiar.

While the early church seemed to have no problem with slaves coming to faith in Christ and even attending their local fellowships, a social stigma remained. There was a lingering sense of separation and segregation, and Paul addressed this issue repeatedly in his letters to the churches. He was out to tear down the societal standards of his day that were creating division within the body of Christ. In their place, he called for a sense of oneness in Christ.

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. – 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 NLT

For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:26-28 NLT

In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. – Colossians 3:11 NLT

While the world outside the doors of the church was practicing segregation, enslavement, and every conceivable form of social prejudice, Paul was calling the body of Christ to practice “the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 3:3 ESV). There was no place for division and disunity in God’s family. Everyone stands as equals at the foot of the cross, and, as Paul reminded the believers in Rome, “God does not show favoritism” (Romans 2:11 NLT).

No, in God’s Kingdom, all share the unique and undeserved privilege of adoption as His sons and daughters, regardless of race, creed, color, or social standing.

There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 3:4-6 ESV

As Paul prepared to inform Philemon about Onesimus, he wanted his friend to understand that the gospel had radically changed their relationship in ways that Philemon would find difficult to grasp and that the 1st-century world would reject. Philemon had a reputation for loving others, but the real test would be how he loved when he heard his runaway slave was now his brother in Christ. 

Father, I can relate to Philemon. He was a good man who had been transformed by the power of the gospel but he still had blind spots. He loved others but also suffered from selective affection. I doubt that he had a soft spot in his heart for Onisemus. In fact, he had probably placed a bounty on his head and had slave catchers searching for him. For Philemon, the thought of a master loving his slave would have been unheard of. Slaves were little more than property and they had no rights and were undeserving of love.. But Paul was about to radically alter Philemon’s take on reality. The kind of love You demand is non-discriminatory and non-negotiable. Your Son told us, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44 ESV). It is interesting to note that Paul wrote to the church in Colossae, “Masters, be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven” (Colossians 4:1 NLT).

Faith in Christ is to be life-changing and relationship-altering. It is to transform our hearts and alter our perspective on every relationship in our lives. But this call to love others is difficult because it require me to see others through Your eyes. You are impartial in Your love (Romans 2:11). You don’t play favorites and don’t reserve Your love for the lovely and lovable. That is why Jesus called for godly love, “that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:45-48 ESV). Give me the strength to love others as You have loved me. Open my eyes to see that love is a gift I have been given by You and I am to share it with everyone. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.