Tough Love Isn’t Easy, But It’s Necessary

10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. 13 Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. – 2 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV

Something had happened within the church at Corinth. A situation had occurred that compelled Paul to write a now-lost letter. In that letter, he had been forced to confront the issue.

I wrote to you so that in the sight of God you could see for yourselves how loyal you are to us.– 2 Corinthians 7:12 ESV

Paul says the purpose behind writing his confrontational letter was to reveal to them just how loyal they were to him and his leadership. Evidently, the individual to whom Paul refers had been critical of his ministry and authority, and “the one who suffered the wrong” had been Paul himself.

Paul always had critics; there was no shortage of those who questioned his apostleship or argued against his authority. Whoever this individual was, he had been misleading the church and undermining all the work Paul had done there. So, in this follow-up letter, Paul responds to the Corinthians after hearing back from Titus, whom he had sent to check on the situation firsthand. The report from Titus was encouraging.

“Therefore we are comforted,” Paul proudly states. Titus had informed him that the Corinthians had remained committed to his teaching and leadership. In fact, Paul states that any grief or sorrow his letter might have produced “leads us away from sin and results in salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT). That is why he can refer to it as godly sorrow, rather than worldly sorrow. The sorrow associated with this world can only produce disappointment and, ultimately, death. Sorrow over sin that does not result in a willingness to repent of it is non-productive and unhelpful. Sorrow over sin that does not drive us to the foot of the cross for cleansing by Christ’s blood can never produce life. Worldly sorrow can only produce despair, resentment, anger, and a growing callousness. We find ourselves becoming less and less sorrowful over our sin, finally reaching the point where we claim that we have not sinned at all.

But for believers, godly sorrow produces repentance, and repentance leads to forgiveness. Paul points out that the Corinthians' sorrow had a positive outcome.

Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. – 2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT

Paul’s earlier letter had produced a sorrow that revealed their desire to do what was right. They had been saddened at the thought that their actions had caused Paul pain, and were motivated to show him that they remained faithful to him. It alarmed them that their behavior had led Paul to question their loyalty, and they realized they had been lax in dealing with the one causing the trouble.  All Paul had done was point out their sin; the Holy Spirit had done the rest. The Spirit had used Paul’s words to convict the Corinthians, and the outcome had been their repentance and the restoration of their relationship with Paul.

Paul even comments that Titus had been encouraged by his visit to check on the Corinthians. He states, “his spirit has been refreshed by you all” (2 Corinthians 7:13b ESV). Titus returned joyful and told Paul that all his boasts about the Corinthians had been true.

Paul ends this section of his letter by telling them, “I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). It is the same way he started his letter.

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride on your behalf. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in the midst of all our suffering. – 2 Corinthians 7:4 NET

Paul was greatly encouraged by the news that the Corinthians had not wandered away from the faith or rejected his role as their spiritual father. He had a deep longing to see them grow spiritually, and a father’s heart that desired to protect his spiritual children from harm and to keep them from straying away from the truth. So the news that they remained faithful was enough to help Paul endure the trials and troubles he faced as he continued to share the gospel throughout Macedonia and the surrounding regions.

He could rest easy knowing that his flock in Corinth remained safe and secure. His loving confrontation had led to their sorrow and repentance, and their repentance had resulted in their salvation; they had been rescued or delivered from a potentially destructive path. Because of Paul's love and with the Holy Spirit's help, they had been able to make a course correction and return to the path God had intended for them to follow.

But what if Paul had never written that now-missing letter? What if he had chosen to ignore their sin and had refused to confront them because he didn’t want to offend them? Love is not the same as tolerance. Godly love is willing to say the hard thing. It compassionately confronts and affectionately admonishes. Allowing a brother or sister in Christ to continue in sin because you don’t want to offend them isn’t love. That would be like allowing your child to play in the street because you don’t want to spoil their fun. Your fear that your child will see you as a spoilsport is not good parenting, and it certainly isn’t love. In fact, it’s a subtle and dangerous form of child abuse. Godly love is willing to disappoint and even to produce hostility as long as it results in godly sorrow, which leads to repentance and life.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Father, tough love is hard. Our innate desire to be liked by others prevents us from loving them the same way You love us. You refuse to tolerate our sin or allow us to make our personal pleasure our top priority. It’s not that You isolate us from temptation or innoculate us from sin’s influence; it’s that You use Your Holy Spirit to confront and convict us when we do sin. You lovingly expose our acts of rebellion and call us to repent of them. And that is what Paul did with the Corinthians. He loved them too much to tolerate their ungodly behavior. He was willing to risk losing their affection to keep them from damaging their relationship with You. Their spiritual well-being meant more to him than their friendship. But it is so easy to see our tolerance of one another’s sins as somehow loving. We convince ourselves we are just being patient and non-judgmental. But Peter said, “the time has come for judgment, and it must begin with God’s household” (1 Peter 4:17 NLT). The Proverbs states, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6 NLT). Give me the strength to love others well by making their holiness a higher priority than their happiness. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Practicing the Three R’s

5 Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. 6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, 7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. – 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 ESV

In these verses, Paul refers to an unnamed individual who had been a source of trouble in the church. Evidently, he had played an adversarial role, attempting to undermine or question Paul’s ministry or the validity of his apostleship. In doing so, he had caused Paul and the church pain  (lypeō – sadness or grief). This man’s disruptive presence had been a source of consternation and sorrow, and Paul concedes that it had been harder on the Corinthians than it had been on him.

Unlike their earlier response to the man who had been having an incestuous relationship with his stepmother (1 Corinthians 5:1-2), in this case, they had chosen to deal with it. Even this had caused grief, because practicing tough love toward a fellow believer is never easy. In the case of the young man committing adultery with his stepmother, Paul had told them, “You should remove this man from your fellowship” (1 Corinthians 5:2 NLT). He went on to defend his recommendation, telling them, “You must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.” (1 Corinthians 5:5 NLT).

Church discipline is neither fun nor easy, but the alternative can be devastating. Paul had warned the Corinthians of the danger of procrastinating about internal problems within the church. 

Don’t you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old “yeast” by removing this wicked person from among you. Then you will be like a fresh batch of dough made without yeast, which is what you really are. – 1 Corinthians 5:6-7 NLT

Regarding the individual Paul refers to in this letter, the Corinthians had practiced church discipline, but now it was time to restore their brother in Christ. He gently, but firmly, reminds them, “Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overcome by discouragement” (2 Corinthians 2:6-7 NLT).

The goal of church discipline should be the repentance, restoration, and reconciliation of the offending party. This man’s public ostracization by the church had made an impact on his life. Now, Paul wanted them to forgive and restore him so that he would not lose heart and perhaps fall into greater sin. Paul writes, “ I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Corinthians 2:8 NLT).

According to Paul, the body of Christ has been given the ministry of reconciliation. It was the same ministry to which he had been called by Christ.

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” – 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 NLT

Helping restore lost individuals to a right relationship with God is our mission. However, it also includes restoring believers who, through persistent, unrepentant sin, have walked away from God and the body of Christ. Paul told the believers in Galatia:

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. – Galatians 6:1 NLT

It would be ungodly to practice church discipline on a fellow believer without pursuing the ultimate goal of their restoration. Removing an offending believer from your fellowship without intending to restore them one day is not what Paul had in mind.

One of the things we must always keep in mind is that Satan is always out to divide and conquer. Jesus said of him, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10a ESV). His intention is to attack those within the flock of God who are weak and vulnerable. He can’t take away their salvation, but he can steal their effectiveness and joy. He can kill their sense of contentment and destroy their unity with the body of Christ. Satan would much rather destroy the church from within than attack it from the outside. That is why we must be so concerned about sin within the camp.

Sin, like yeast, permeates and spreads. It can be like cancer, growing unobserved and undetected, silently infecting the entire body. So we must always be on the alert and willing to confront sin within the body of Christ. But along with confrontation, we must extend compassion and pursue restoration. And it all begins with forgiveness. This was a recurring theme for Paul:

…be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32 NLT

Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. – Colossians 3:13 NLT

May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. – Romans 15:5-7 NLT

Paul knew that God longed for unity among His people. Christ prayed for it in His High Priestly Prayer.

“I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.

“I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” – John 17:20-23

Sin was and is an ever-present reality within the body of Christ, but forgiveness should be as well. Otherwise, we open ourselves to the evil schemes of Satan, who seeks to outwit us and destroy the unity Christ died to provide. That is why we need to practice the three R’s: Repentance, reconciliation, and restoration.

We are in this together. We are the body of Christ, the family of God, and our unity should be as important to us as it is to our heavenly Father.

Father, unity does not mean universality. As members of the body of Christ, we are not all the same. We come from different backgrounds, have differing talents and abilities, and we have each been given a different gift by the Holy Spirit for the mutual edification of the church. But we all share a common struggle with indwelling sin; we can't escape it. Some are more spiritually mature than others. There are those who are weak and more susceptible to sin. And while You have called us to confront sin when we see it, we should never do so without pursuing their repentance and reconciliation. You never said it would be easy, but as Paul makes clear, reconciliation is a non-negotiable necessity. Peter said that judgment begins in the house of God (1 Peter 1:17), but it must be accompanied by restorative love and a desire for spiritual healing. Show us how to practice tough love with the heart of Christ, and never out of judgmentalism or prideful arrogance. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Tough Love

23 But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.

1 For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4 ESV

Even as an apostle of Jesus Christ, Paul did not see himself as spiritually superior to the Corinthians. He viewed himself as their ally and an asset to their spiritual development. He claims, “we work with you for your joy” (2 Corinthians 1:24 ESV). He, Silas, and Timothy were tools in God’s hands, used by Him to assist the Corinthians in their growth and development. And despite the issues within the Corinthian church, Paul still believed they were firm in their faith. This made his decision to delay his visit easier, and he believed it was God's will.

But there was another reason he postponed his visit: to keep from causing them pain and sorrow. Evidently, Paul had made a second visit to Corinth sometime between his original visit when he helped establish the church there. It was on this second visit that he had to deal with particularly difficult circumstances in the church. He knew his arrival in Corinth had caused them great pain because being reprimanded is never easy, and having to be the one to call them out had not been enjoyable for Paul either. So, he says, “I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved” (2 Corinthians 2:1-2 NLT).

It pained Paul to reprimand those he loved. This reveals his pastor’s heart and his deep care and affection for the believers in Corinth. They were his children in the faith, and he had a deep and abiding love for them and felt a strong sense of responsibility for their spiritual well-being. 

Instead of paying them a potentially painful visit, Paul decided to write them a letter.

That is why I wrote to you as I did, so that when I do come, I won’t be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you all know that my joy comes from your being joyful. – 2 Corinthians 2:3 NLT

The letter, now lost, was evidently quite blunt and caused Paul “great anguish” to write. Whatever he wrote had caused him great sorrow and left him in tears, but it was necessary and written in love.

It was Paul’s hope and desire that the Corinthians would take seriously the painful rebuke and loving reprimand found in his letter and do something about it. What he had written had been for their good, and he longed for them to heed his words and change their ways. Otherwise, when he did finally visit them, it would be another painful reunion.

While Paul cared for the Corinthians, he loved them too much to allow them to continue in sin. His affection for them was rooted in the love of Christ and in his knowledge that he was responsible to God for their spiritual welfare. Paul did not enjoy or take pleasure in hurting them; he simply wanted to see them enjoy all that God had in store for them. He desired that they experience all the full measure of the abundant life that Christ made possible by His death on the cross. Later in this letter, Paul explains the harsh tone of his previous letter.

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NLT

Paul found joy in their repentance, not in their happiness. To refrain from telling someone the truth just because you don’t want to cause them pain is not love; it is a twisted form of hate. To knowingly allow them to continue in sin would be cruel and make you an accomplice in their sin. You would be enabling their sinful behavior by remaining silent.

Too often, as Christians, our fear of losing face or friends keeps us from saying what needs to be said. But Paul believed that holiness was far more important than happiness. Our love for one another is best expressed in our unwillingness to tolerate sin in one another’s lives. Which is why Paul told the Colossian believers: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 ESV).

Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him” (Luke 17:3 ESV). Solomon wrote, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:3 ESV). King David understood the value of the loving rebuke of a godly friend.

Let the godly strike me!
    It will be a kindness!
If they correct me, it is soothing medicine.
    Don’t let me refuse it. – Psalm 141:5 NLT

Tough love is tough to pull off because it is difficult to confront those we love. It caused Paul pain to say what he had to say to the Corinthians, but it was necessary. It was the godly thing to do. He told the Corinthians that he wrote his previous letter “to let you know how much love I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT).

When we care more for another believer’s holiness than for their happiness, we truly love them. When we’re willing to risk their rejection to bring about their repentance, we demonstrate our love for them. When we make their relationship with God a higher priority than their friendship with us, we are loving them as Christ loved us. As Solomon said, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Strong words spoken from a sincere and loving heart may cause momentary pain, but in the long run, they will produce the fruit of righteousness.

Father, nobody likes to have their sins exposed or their faults pointed out, but the truth is that we are sometimes the last ones to see what is painfully obvious to others. Yet, most of us avoid confronting the sin we see in other’s lives because we fear rejection or suspect that they will point the finger of accusation back at us. However, our silence does nothing to change their behavior or assuage our responsibility to love them enough to confront them. Father, before Your Son began His earthly ministry, You sent John the Baptist to call the people to repentance. Even Jesus’ preached the same message, calling people to acknowledge their sinfulness and their need for a Savior. He is the one who said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners” (Mark 2:17 NLT). He loved us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves. Then He went to the cross to pay the penalty we owed and provide a cure for our sinful condition. Give me the same passion to expose the sins in those I claim to love. Don’t allow me to let getting along to outweigh my responsibility to build up the body of Christ. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Tough Love

1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.

3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. – 1 Corinthians 5:1-8 ESV

Paul has threatened to come to Corinth, wielding a rod of discipline like a father to his disobedient children. And there is more going on within the Corinthian congregation than simply their prideful bickering over who is following which leader. While they were busy arguing over whether Paul was better than Apollos or Cephas was a better leader than Paul, other sins had crept into the congregation. They had been so busy boasting over their spiritual superiority that they had failed to recognize what was happening right under their noses. In fact, according to Paul, it didn’t even bother them.

Paul had received word that there was a man in the church who was having sexual relations with his father’s wife. It seems that this involved the man’s stepmother, not his biological birth mother. And there is some indication that the man’s father was no longer alive. But Paul still referred to what was going on as “sexual immorality.” The Greek word he used is πορνεία (porneia). The Greeks primarily used this word to refer to prostitution or the act of engaging a prostitute and paying for sexual pleasure. But the Jews had adapted the word and given it a much more robust meaning. For them, it covered “adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, and intercourse with animals, etc.” (“G4202 - porneia - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible).

Paul seems to be using the word with its Hebrew meaning in mind. He describes what is going on as a form of porneia “that is not tolerated even among pagans” (1 Corinthians 5:1 ESV). The non-Christians in Corinth would never have condoned a man sleeping with his father’s wife, even if she was a widow. And yet the church was not only tolerating it, but they were also evidently proud of it.

“It is this lack of a sense of sin, and therefore of any ethical consequences to their life in the Spirit, that marks the Corinthian brand of spirituality as radically different from that which flows out of the gospel of Christ crucified. And it is precisely this failure to recognize the depth of their corporate sinfulness due to their arrogance that causes Paul to take such strong action as is described in the next sentence.” – Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, p. 203

As a fellowship, they displayed no remorse, regret, or repentance. Their understanding of Christianity was missing any ethical or moral dimension. It seems that they had allowed their faith in Christ to become nothing more than a pursuit of knowledge that lacked any influence over their behavior.

Paul calls them proud and arrogant. It is as if they believed that their moral tolerance was somehow a badge of honor. They were distorting the concept of grace by turning a blind eye to the sin taking place among them. Paul accuses them of being accepting and tolerant of anything and everyone. They had somehow rationalized the man’s behavior, deeming it not only acceptable but normal. However, Paul had a radically different view. He demanded that they “throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed” (1 Corinthians 5:5 NLT).

Paul practiced a zero-tolerance policy when it came to sexual sin. Evidently, this man displayed no repentance or even remorse. He had not confessed his sin to the congregation, asking for forgiveness and pledging to change his behavior. He was arrogantly practicing his immorality right in front of them, and they were readily accepting of it.

Paul’s recommendation to turn this man over to Satan simply means that they were to cast him out of their fellowship and allow him to suffer the consequences of his immoral decision. Paul firmly believed in the truth that you reap what you sow. He told the Galatian believers: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8 ESV). He wrote something similar to the believers in Rome.

But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. – Romans 6:21 ESV

Two verses later, he added, “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23 ESV). While a life of sin ultimately leads to physical death, it can also bring about spiritual death, even while we still draw breath. Paul was suggesting that they remove this man from their midst and allow him to reap the full consequences of his immoral choices. The English Standard Version translates verse 5 as “you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh.”

Certain commentators believe Paul was referring to the man’s physical death. The Greek word Paul uses is σάρξ (sarx), and while it can refer to the physical body, it was also commonly used to refer to “the sensuous nature of man, ‘the animal nature’” or “the animal nature with cravings which incite to sin” (“G4561 - sarx - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible). It would seem that Paul was interested in seeing this man suffer the consequences of his immoral lifestyle. It recalls the words he wrote in his letter to the Romans, when he spoke about the sinfulness of mankind.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves…For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. – Romans 1:24, 26-27 ESV

For Paul, the issue was the moral state of the church. This man’s sin was like yeast that, if tolerated, was going to spread through the entire congregation. Undisciplined sin in the body of Christ is like cancer that will eventually permeate its way through the fellowship, leaving a path of destruction in its wake. The prideful permissiveness of sin in the body of Christ can be dangerous and deadly, and our willingness to tolerate unacceptable behavior among fellow believers usually has little to do with the practice of grace. However, it has everything to do with complacency and a lack of understanding about the corporate culpability of sin.

The church is an organism and, like the human body, every part has an influence on every other part. There is no such thing as individual or isolated sin; no one sins in a vacuum. And Christ’s call for us to love one another includes the kind of love that cares about the spiritual well-being of one another. To think that the sin of a brother or sister in Christ will not eventually impact the body is naive. The overall health of the body of Christ is completely dependent upon the health of its members. When we tolerate sin, we allow the enemy to gain a foothold in our midst, and his most successful offensive tactic is to destroy the body of Christ from within. That is why Paul so boldly demanded, “Get rid of the old ‘yeast’ by removing this wicked person from among you. Then you will be like a fresh batch of dough made without yeast, which is what you really are” (1 Corinthians 5:7 NLT).

Refusal to practice moral purification would result in putrification. The sins of the one would infect the many. Tolerance would lead to complacency and compromise. Out of love for the body of Christ and respect for the name of Christ, Paul demanded that the Corinthians do the right thing and remove this “cancer” without delay. Paul was not displaying hatred for the sinner; he was voicing his concern for the well-being of the local fellowship. The immediate removal of this man would serve as a much-needed wake-up call, clearly communicating the inappropriateness of his actions and the unacceptability of their willing approval. Paul

Paul would have shared the view voiced by James in the letter that bears his name.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Father, the truth is, we can be just as tolerant towad and permissive of sin within our own fellowships. Something in us causes us to shy away from confrontation and to turn a blind eye to the sin in our midst. Perhaps we fear having someone point out our own moral failures. So, we keep our mouths shut and silently tolerate behavior that You have deemed unacceptable and destructive. We have somehow confused tolerance with love. But ignoring sin doesn’t make it go away. Refusing to deal with it doesn’t make it any less dangerous and deadly. Give us the boldness to speak the truth in love. Raise up those within our congregations who will be strong enough to confront sin and prevent it from spreading like cancer in the body of Christ. Help me be a loving leader like Paul, who was willing to say the difficult things and call Your people to do the right thing, all for the sake of Your glory and the good of Your people. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Love, Not Tolerance.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. – 2 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV

Something had happened within the church at Corinth. There was some situation that had taken place about which Paul was compelled to write a now-lost letter. In that letter he had be forced to confront the issue. He writes, “although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong” (2 Corinthians 7:12 ESV). Paul says the purpose in having written them his confrontational letter had been to reveal to them just how truly loyal they were to him and his leadership. Evidently the individual to whom Paul refers had been critical of his ministry and authority, and “the one who suffered the wrong” had been Paul himself. Paul always had critics. There was no shortage of those individuals who questioned his apostleship or argued against his authority. Whoever this individual was, he had been misleading the church and undermining all the work Paul had done there. So, in this letter, Paul is following up with the Corinthians, after having heard back from Titus, whom he had sent to check on the situation first-hand. The report from Titus was encouraging. “Therefore we are comforted,” Paul proudly states. They had remained committed to Paul’s teaching and committed to following his leadership. In fact, Paul states that any grief or sorrow his letter might have produced, had resulted in “a repentance that leads to salvation without regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10 ESV). That is why he can refer to it as godly sorrow, rather than worldly sorrow. The sorrow associated with this world can only produce death. Sorrow over sin that does not result in a willingness to repent of it can not produce life change. Sorrow over sin that does not drive us to the foot of the cross for cleansing by Christ’s blood can never produce life. Worldly sorrow can only produce despair, resentment, anger, and a growing callousness. We find ourselves becoming less and less sorrowful over our sin, finally reaching the point where we claim that we have not sinned at all.

But for believers, godly sorrow produces repentance, and repentance leads to forgiveness. Paul points out that the sorrow of the Corinthians had had a positive outcome.

Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. – 2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT

It had revealed their desire to do what was right. They had been saddened at the thought that their actions had caused Paul pain. They were motivated to show him that they remained faithful to him. It alarmed them that their behavior had led Paul to question their loyalty. And they realized that they had been lax in dealing with the one who had been causing the trouble.  All Paul had done was point out their sin. The Holy Spirit had done the rest. He had used the words of Paul to convict the Corinthians and the outcome was their repentance and the restoration of their relationship with Paul.

Paul even comments that Titus had been encouraged by his visit to check on the Corinthians. Paul says, “his spirit has been refreshed by you all” (2 Corinthians 7:13b ESV). He returned joyful and telling Paul that all his boasts about the Corinthians had been true.

Paul ends this section of his letter with the word, “I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). It is the same he started it. “I have great confidence in you; I take great pride on your behalf. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in the midst of all our suffering” (2 Corinthians 7:4 NET). Paul was encouraged greatly by the news that the Corinthians had not wandered away from the faith or rejected his role as their spiritual father. He had a deep, deep longing to see them grow spiritually. He had a father’s heart that desired to protect his spiritual children from harm and to keep them from straying away from the truth. So the news that they remained faithful was enough to help Paul make it through the trials and troubles he faced as he continued to share the gospel throughout Macedonia and the surrounding regions. He could rest easy knowing that his flock in Corinth remained safe and secure. His loving confrontation had resulted in their sorrow. Their sorrow had led to their repentance. And their repentance had resulted in their salvation. They had been rescued or delivered from a potentially destructive path. Because of the love of Paul and with the help of the Holy Spirit, they had been able to make a course correction and return to the path God had intended for them to follow. But what if Paul had never written that now-missing letter? What if he had chosen to ignore their sin? What if he had refused to confront them because he didn’t want to offend them? Love is not the same as tolerance. Godly love is willing to say the hard thing. It compassionately confronts. It affectionately admonishes. Allowing a brother or sister in Christ to continue in sin because you don’t want to offend them isn’t love. That would be like allowing your child to play in the street because you don’t want to spoil all their fun, because you don’t want to come across as the “bad” parent. But that’s not love, it’s a subtle and dangerous form of child abuse. Godly love is willing to hurt. Godly love is willing to produce godly sorrow, because godly sorrow leads to repentance and life.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Tough Love.

2 Corinthians 2:1-13

I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn't want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT

Paul's love for the Corinthians believer was like that of a father for his children. He was proud of them and felt a strong responsibility for their welfare. He worried about their spiritual health and was concerned for survival in the high-pressure context of a pagan city like Corinth. So Paul wrote them words of encouragement and instruction, as he did in 1st Corinthians. But there were times when he had to take a harsher, sterner tone, in order to deal with actions and attitudes that were dangerous and un-Christlike. Paul loved the believers in Corinth enough to say things that caused them sorrow – for the time being. He evidently wrote a second letter, which commentators refer to as "the sorrowful letter," which has been lost. Paul refers to it in verse 3: "That is why I wrote you as I did, so that when I do come, I won't be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy." He had written them a letter containing some strong words and loving admonitions. He had written that letter "in great anguish."  It had been accompanied by "a troubled heart and many tears." Paul loved them very much, but he loved them enough to say things they needed to hear, but that were hard to listen to. His words were written in love, not anger. They were expressed out of heartfelt concern, not pride or arrogance. But his words hurt all the same. And he knew it.

Paul had a reason behind his words. They were not written flippantly or thoughtlessly. "I wrote to you as I did to test you and see if you would fully comply with my instructions" (2 Corinthians 2:9 NLT). It was vitally important to Paul that they accept him for who he was – an emissary of Jesus Christ, a God-sent messenger of the gospel and a legitimate apostle of the Church. He wasn't on some kind of an ego trip, but was simply trying to get them to understand that he spoke on behalf of and with the complete authority of God Himself. It was essential that they listen to and obey what he said. He was not just sharing his opinions, but the word of God and the message of Jesus Christ. Paul was dealing with some specific issues going on in the church in Corinth. There was a situation that involved a member of the congregation that had caused a great deal of division and strife in the church. It may have been the man Paul dealt with in 1st Corinthians who had had an immoral relationship with his step-mother. It could have been someone who had personally insulted Paul by speaking against him and leading the church into accepting false teaching. But whoever the man was, he had been opposed by the church, punished for his sin, and now it was time to reconcile and restore the relationship. Paul urged them "to reaffirm your love for him" (2 Corinthians 2:8 NLT). He wanted them to extend grace, love and mercy to this man and restore him to the fellowship. Paul knew that Satan would love nothing more than to divide the church from within. He knew that the enemy would be far more successful destroying the cause of Christ if he could cause division and disunity among believers. External pressure tends to solidify and strengthen the church. But internal strife causes cracks and chasms to weaken the spiritual infrastructure of the church, diminishing its power and effectiveness.

Paul loved the cause of Christ too much to allow that to happen. He was not going to stand idly by and watch the Corinthian believers self-destruct. So he said what needed to be said. He spoke the truth, but always with love. When he spoke, he shared God's will, not his own. He was not driven by ego or self-preservation, but out of love for the Kingdom of God and the spread of the gospel message around the world. He knew that the greatest barrier to the gospel's expansion was a weakened church. Compromise, complacency, disharmony and disunity among God's people would be deadly to the cause of Christ. Unforgiveness, hatred, resentment, jealousy, pride, self-centeredness, and injustice had no place among God's people. And when Paul saw these things, he spoke against them. Paul had told them what God expected of them. "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT).

Paul loved the believers in Corinth. He loved them enough to speak truth. He loved them enough to cause them sorrow, if only for the moment. Because he knew that exposing their sin was essential if they were to grow. Later on, in his letter to the believers in Ephesus, Paul would write, "Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church" (Ephesians 4:15 NLT). Love is honest. It does not lie or tolerate falsehood. Love doesn't overlook sin, but confronts it. Love doesn't minimize unrighteousness, but exposes it. Love can hurt, but love never fails.

Father, help me learn to love like Paul did. Show me how to speak truth, Your truth, in such a way that it results in conviction and produces righteousness in the lives of others. Show me how to say what needs to be said, but always in love, not out of pride, arrogance or ever with a heart filled with hatred. Amen.