Her Holiness Trumps Your Happiness

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV

In the previous two verses, Paul stated that wives are to submit to their husbands. That’s not exactly a popular topic among most women today. It sounds so archaic and comes across as demeaning and dismissive of women. But we must remember that this entire section of Paul’s letter is calling all believers to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. His reference to wives and husbands was simply a practical application of what mutual submission looks like in real life.

But the one thing that gets overlooked in this whole discussion of submission is the interrelatedness that God intends. In His divine plan, submission was not intended to be a one-way affair. Yes, wives were expected to submit to their husbands, but notice that Paul calls husbands to love their wives. And here is the important distinction: Believing husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. There is an inferred expectation of sacrifice and selflessness involved in the kind of love Paul is describing. It is an other-oriented love that suppresses its own rights and desires for the well-being of another.

However, Paul goes on to describe this kind of love as a form of self-love, because “husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28 ESV). For the husband, there is no me-versus-her agenda. In God’s eyes, his very existence is permanently linked to that of his wife. That is why Jesus taught that it was God’s will that a husband and wife become “one flesh.”

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,  and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Mark 10:6-9 ESV

The husband is to value his wife’s life as much as his own. It is as if she has become a part of him. He is to love her as he loves his own body, nourishing and cherishing her in the same way that Christ does the church. Christ not only sacrificed His life for the church, but He also constantly intercedes on Her behalf. Even now, His full attention is focused on the church. Paul tells us, “Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us” (Romans 8:34 NLT). Paul then goes on to ask, “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love?” (Romans 8:35 NLT). This rhetorical question is meant to be answered with a resounding “No!”

In the same way, there is nothing that should separate the love of a husband for his wife. Nothing she says or does should cause him to fall out of love with her. Now that is a tall order and a high expectation, but Paul doesn’t stop there. He adds that the husband is to make it his life's goal to sanctify his wife, sometimes despite her and without her full cooperation. Even when she refuses to submit to him, he is to sanctify her.

But what does Paul mean when he calls husbands to sanctify their wives? Isn't that the job of the Spirit of God? Paul is using Christ’s love for the church as an illustration of the kind of love men are to have for their wives. Christ gave Himself up for the church, sacrificing His life so that the church might be sanctified. The Greek word Paul used is hagiazō, which means “to set apart, consecrate, or make holy.” Earlier in his letter, Paul wrote that God “blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV).

God’s desire is for His people to be holy or set apart, living in a way that reflects their status as His children. But sinfulness prevented us from living set-apart lives. Our unrighteousness kept us from living up to God’s holy standard.

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. – Romans 3:23 NLT

Jesus made our holiness possible by His sacrificial death on the cross.

Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. – Romans 3:24-25 NLT

Jesus sacrificed His life so that we could be made holy in God’s eyes. He took on our sin and imputed His righteousness to us. He did for us what we could not do for ourselves. And, in the same way, a believing husband should make his wife’s holiness his highest priority. Her holiness should take precedence over his own happiness. God has appointed husbands to steward their wives’ sanctification. While a godly husband cannot make his wife holy, he should always treat her as such. She is a gift from God, and He has charged the husband with caring for her spiritual well-being at all costs.  

Paul says that Christ cleansed the church by the washing of water with the word. This appears to refer to the gospel, the good news of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. Every believer who hears the gospel message and places their faith in Christ is cleansed from their sins. Water baptism is a statement of that reality as the believer is lowered into the water and symbolically “cleansed” from their sins. The emphasis in verse 26 is sanctification. It is not a command for men to read the Word over their wives in some kind of ritualistic purification rite.

It was Jesus’ death on the cross that provided their cleansing from sin. The point Paul seems to be making is that Jesus gave Himself up “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27 ESV). In the same way, the husband is to give himself up for his wife's spiritual edification; her holiness is to be his highest priority. His chief desire is for her to experience the fullness of life Jesus died for her to have (John 10:10). But that will require sacrifice, selflessness, and submission to the will of God. When a godly husband makes his wife’s holiness his highest priority, his own happiness will have to take a backseat.

Submission is difficult; our natural inclination is to refuse any thought of submitting to someone else. Loving as Christ loved is also a formidable task and runs counter to our natural disposition toward self-centeredness and self-preservation. But we have to remember that Paul is calling us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1 ESV). He is challenging us to undertake some serious remodeling.

…put off your old self…and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:22,24 ESV

He commands us to “walk in love, as Christ loved us” (Ephesians 5:2 ESV), as children of light (Ephesians 5:8).

Marriage is one of the primary venues God has chosen for us to model Christlikeness. He intended the marriage union to be a constant illustration of Christ and His love relationship with the church. It is to be a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love and the church’s obedient submission working in unison to accomplish God’s will. So Paul writes, “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). When we do, it is for the good of our marriage and the glory of God, and serves as a living testimony of our calling as His children.

Father, these are difficult verses and seem almost impossible to carry out in real life. Loving my wife with the same intensity and all-out commitment that Christ displayed for the church seems like a tall order that is beyond my capacity to pull off. But I know You never ask me to do anything in my own strength. As Jesus told His disciples, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 ESV). I can love my wife as Christ loved the church because You have placed Your Spirit within me and equipped me with all the power I need to do the impossible. By Your divine power, You have given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), including loving my wife selflessly and sacrificially. But, even then, I can still gravitate back to pursuing my happiness. I can easily place my desire for self-preservation and personal pleasure ahead of Your call to love my wife. I can even make my spiritual growth a higher priority than hers. But Jesus said, “It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26 BSB). And Jesus practiced what He preached, all the way to the cross, You are not asking that I die for my wife, but You are expecting me to die to myself. You are commanding me to love my wife selflessly and sacrificially, just as Your Son loved the church. Yes, it’s a tall order, but with You, all things are possible.  Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The God-Ordained Mission of Submission

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. – Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV

In verse 21, Paul called the Ephesians to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NLT). This admonition was stated in the context of doing God's will and living in a way that pleases Him. But to many contemporary Christians, submission is a four-letter word that conjures up images of slave-like subjugation and subservience. Verses 23-24 strike fear into the hearts of many pastors and cause them to avoid them like the plague. If they preach these verses at all, they present them as a culturally driven anomaly with little or no application for modern-day believers.

Many view this passage as old-fashioned, a throwback to some cultural context that has no bearing on our more sophisticated modern milieu. They conclude that Paul was writing to a people trapped in an antiquated social structure that no longer applies. Either that, or he was just misogynistic and trying to keep women in their “proper” place.

But what most of us fail to realize is that submission is a non-negotiable requirement of every believer in Christ. These two verses, like so many others in Scripture, are typically lifted from their context and treated in isolation. But Paul has been talking about how believers are to live their lives, calling them to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1 ESV). He repeats that thought in Chapter 5.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. – Ephesians 5:15-16 ESV

The New Living Translation translates verse 15 as “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.” Paul was calling the Ephesian believers to live differently from their unsaved neighbors. Their behavior was to set them apart as children of God. They were to walk in love, as children of light, exhibiting the wisdom of God, not the foolishness of the world.

The verses that often get overlooked when dealing with this passage are located right before it. In them, Paul gives an admonition to every believer, male or female.

…be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:18-21 ESV

Submission is expected of every follower of Christ. A lifestyle of submission is one of humility and honor, not subservience and servitude. When done properly, it reveres Christ by modeling the very lifestyle He lived. Jesus Himself described His mission in terms of submission and a servant-like attitude.

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28 NLT

The apostle Paul told the believers in Corinth to imitate Christ’s example.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. – Philippians 2:5-7 NLT

This has nothing to do with Jesus’ rights. As the Son of God, He was divine and all-powerful. He created the world and all those who lived in it. Yet He was willing to submit to His Father’s will and set aside His divine privileges and prerogatives in order to serve mankind by sacrificing His life.

In the upper room, on the night that Jesus was to be betrayed and arrested, He washed His disciples’ feet. Setting aside His robe, He wrapped Himself in a towel and did what none of the others would have dared to do. As He knelt before them, performing the role of a lowly servant, Jesus told His disciples, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand” (John 13:7 ESV).

When He finished, Jesus said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:12-17 ESV).

Jesus’ act of submission was meant to be a living lesson for the disciples about what their lives would be like in the days to come. He was calling them to a life of service and sacrifice, where their wills would take a back seat to God’s. He expected them to submit to one another out of reverence for God and love for one another. Titles were not to stand in the way. Rights were to be set aside. Status was to be ignored. Submission was to become a key characteristic of their lives. And what the disciples did not yet understand was that Jesus’ demonstration of foot-washing was simply a foreshadowing of His ultimate act of service on the cross.

When James and John, two of Jesus’ disciples, came to Him and arrogantly asked for positions of prominence in His coming Kingdom, the rest of the disciples became angry and jealous. Jesus denied their request by presenting them with a radically different expectation for their futures.

“You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:42-45 ESV

Among you, it will be different. In His Kingdom, sovereignty would be marked by slavery, and honor would be achieved through humility.

So what does all this have to do with wives submitting to their husbands? In this chapter, Paul will use a number of earthly relationships to illustrate Christian submission. He will talk about husbands and wives, children and parents, and slaves and masters. As believers, we do not operate in a vacuum. We are not independent agents, acting on our own and focused solely on our individual walk with God. We live in a communal context. Wives have husbands, and it is in that context that they are to practice submission.

Notice that Paul says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands;” he does NOT say that all women are to submit to ALL men. Paul’s discussion of submission has nothing to do with the value or significance of women in general; it has everything to do with the context of marriage. What more difficult place to practice submission than in a marriage?

Just as the disciples would never have lowered themselves to wash the feet of one another, wives will find it difficult to submit to their husbands, especially if their husbands fail to love as Paul commands. Yet submission is non-optional and is a willing coming under the other, recognizing them as more important than yourself. This is what Paul told the believers in Philippi.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4 ESV

A wife’s submission is NOT an admission of her husband’s superiority, but a recognition of God’s divine order. He has made the husband the head of the household, not because He is smarter, more spiritual, or even better equipped to lead, but so that there might be order in the home. God holds the husband responsible, just as He held Adam to a higher standard than Eve when it came to their mutual sin against Him.

Submission is essential to every relationship in which we find ourselves as Christians, and it is one of the hardest things for us to do. We long to be first and tend to view ourselves as better than others. We long to be in control, but when we submit to others, we are really submitting to God. We are coming under His divine authority and recognizing His righteous order for His creation.

At the end of the day, submission is about trusting God. It involves the realization that He is in control and has authority over the husband. A believing wife must submit to her husband “as to the Lord,” trusting God to lead him and protect her. But the temptation will be to step in and take over, especially when the husband fails to lead and love well. But when the wife attempts to take over, she is actually stepping outside God’s ordained plan. Submission will not always make sense and will not always appear to work. It may even be uncomfortable at times. But even Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death, offering Himself as a ransom for many. Submission is not a dirty word; it is the God-ordained way of life for every believer.

Father, subnission is difficult for all of us. We inherently want to be in charge and dislike playing second fiddle to anyone. We even find it hard to submit to those we love and respect. But, ultimately, we are not submitting to another person, we are submitting to You. That is why Paul makes it clear that wives are to submit “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). Our submission is to be focused on Your will, trusting that You know what is best for us. As Paul told the Colossians, we are to work willingly at whatever we do, as though we are working for the Lord rather than for people (Colossians 3:23) Submission is countercultural and, oftentimes, counterintuitive. As the Son of God and Creator of the universe, Your Son had every right to demand the submission and subjugation of humanity. But “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:6-8 ESV). And You have called us to follow His example and live out that same sacrificial, selfless lifestyle in all our relationships. With the Spirit’s help, we can do it, and when we do it, we imitate Christ and glorify You. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Practical and Personal

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

Paul has strongly stressed the need to know and obey the will of the Lord (Ephesians 5:17). He has called each member of the congregation to live as a light in the midst of the darkness of Ephesus by submitting to the control of the Holy Spirit within them. Together, they were to shine the light of God’s life-transforming glory into the dark recesses of the sin-soaked society around them. The fledgling church in Ephesus was to be a beacon of hope as they allowed the Holy Spirit to fill them. His presence and power would overflow and impact all their relationships. Paul indicates that this Spirit-empowered change in their corporate interactions will leave them “singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts” (Ephesians 5:19 NLT). As the Spirit makes the will of God known and then empowers the Ephesians to obey it, they will see their relationships radically changed, and their gratefulness to God increase. But it will all begin with their willingness to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

It’s interesting to note how verse 21 is often overlooked or ignored by those who take issue with verses 22-24. In the modern-day church, there are many who find Paul’s words regarding wives submitting to their husbands as old-fashioned and heavily patriarchal. They view them as antiquated and no longer applicable in today’s more modern and enlightened context. There is little debate that, when taken out of its context, Paul's teachings about submission within the home can sound like he has a low regard for women. But nothing could be further from the truth. Paul is not suggesting that wives have less value or worth than their husbands. He is not treating them as second-class citizens or subjugating them to an inferior role in the marriage relationship. He is simply continuing his discussion on knowing the will of God and allowing the Holy Spirit to apply that will to everyday life so that the Ephesian believers might be lights in the darkness.

Paul brings up the institution of marriage because it was something the Ephesian believers shared with their unsaved neighbors. Marriage was an accepted part of everyday life in Ephesus. Christians were not the only ones who participated in the God-ordained institution of marriage. But Christians were the only ones who could demonstrate what God’s will was concerning marriage.

Within the 1st-Century context of Greek culture, Paul’s teaching regarding husbands and wives was radical and unexpected. The prevailing view of the day held that wives were little more than property. Oftentimes, they were treated more like slaves than helpmeets. In general, women were seen as inferior to men and accorded little honor or respect.   

“After centuries of Christian teaching, we scarcely appreciate the revolutionary nature of Paul’s views on family life set forth in this passage. Among the Jews of his day, as also among the Romans and the Greeks, women were seen as secondary citizens with few or no rights. The pious male Jew daily said a prayer in which he thanked God for not making him a woman. And he could divorce his wife by simply writing ‘a bill of divorcement’ (which must include the provision that she was then free to marry whomever she wanted). The wife had no such right.” – Leon Morris, Expository Reflections on the Letter to the Ephesians

But Paul was not attempting to write a commentary on gender equity or trying to rectify centuries of ungodly thinking about the role of women in society. His interest was in helping Christian husbands and wives apply the will of God regarding marriage to their own homes. And his words must be kept within the context of his call to mutual submission found in verse 21. That’s the key to understanding verses 22-33.

Don’t forget how Paul opened this section of his letter.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. – Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV

How are mere humans supposed to imitate God? How can fallen men and women model their lives after a holy and completely righteous God? The only way they can do it is through a relationship with the Son of God. It is only through faith in Christ that anyone can be made right with God. And as believers are transformed into the likeness of Christ through the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit, their lives inherently imitate God because they emulate the One who “expresses the very character of God” (Hebrews 1:3 NLT).

Paul opened this chapter by calling the Ephesians to imitate God by demonstrating the same kind of sacrificial love that Christ poured out on them. God so loved the world that He sent His Son (John 3:16), and He “showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT).

Now, in verses 22-33, Paul is taking this call to imitate God by loving like Christ and applying it to the institution of marriage. He is focusing his attention on the one place in society where love and submission could and should be practiced and prove the power of the Spirit of God to apply the will of God to everyday life.

Paul begins by addressing the wives, telling them to “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). It’s amazing how often the last four words of his statement are left out by those who take issue with this passage. They also overlook his emphasis on wives and their own husbands. This is not intended as a blanket statement regarding the relationship between all women and all men. This has less to do with gender than it does with the God-ordained institution of marriage and the divine definition regarding the roles of husbands and their wives. And it only applies to Christian marriages. What Paul is prescribing here is only possible when both husband and wife share a common faith in Jesus Christ. 

When Paul calls the wife to submit to her husband, he is not issuing a command to subjugate herself to a lower or inferior status in the relationship. He is not suggesting that the wife is of lesser value or importance to God.

“People often misunderstand submission. It does not indicate inferiority or involve losing one’s identity and becoming a non-person. Some women fear that submission will lead to abuse and or a feeling of being used. Submission does not mean blind obedience or passivity. It means giving oneself up to someone else.” – Thomas L. Constable, Notes on Ephesians

Paul is teaching the will of God concerning the marriage relationship. A Christian marriage is to look distinctively different than a non-Christian marriage. A husband and wife who are also a brother and sister in Christ are to model a radically different kind of marriage. Their interactions with one another are to be in keeping with the will of God and empowered by the Spirit of God. And it begins with a willingness to submit to or come under God’s providential plan for the marriage relationship.

These 12 verses, when taken in their context, reveal that the Christian marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. This must not be overlooked or discounted. That is the whole point of Paul’s teaching. The wife is intended to represent the church, the holy and spotless bride of Christ. The husband represents Christ, who demonstrated His love for His bride by laying down His life. Jesus gave His life so that His bride might have fulness of life. He died so that His bride might live. He sacrificed His body in order that the church might be cleansed and made holy. He modeled selflessness in the form of sacrifice.

In the same way, the wife is to model selflessness in the form of willful submission. The church, the bride of Christ, willingly submits to Him because it is God’s will. And when a Christian wife submits to her Christian husband, she is doing so “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). Or to put it another way, she submits to her husband in the same way that she submitted to the Lord – through faith – trusting that God’s will and His ways are best. Paul doesn’t suggest that she submit only when her husband acts like Christ. That is where faith comes in. She is expected to do God’s will whether the conditions are perfect or the outcome looks predictable. That’s why Paul added, “as to the Lord.” Ultimately, she is trusting that obedience to God’s will is preferable to her own desire for autonomy or self-will. 

What Paul is suggesting is not only difficult, but it is impossible – without the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. No one likes to submit. There is no human being that likes the idea of coming under the authority or leadership of another. Yet we all do it every day if we feel like we will receive some benefit from having done so. Employees submit to their bosses, in order to get a salary. Citizens submit to their governing authorities, in exchange for protection and the preservation of their rights and freedoms. You might call it a form of quid pro quo.

But Paul is suggesting something altogether different. He is calling husbands and wives to follow the example of Christ. He willingly submitted to the will of His Father, even to the point of laying down His life (Philippians 2:6-8). He willingly sacrificed His life so that His bride might be made holy, righteous, and pure. And when a husband and wife, two people whom God has formed into one, do the same thing, they bring Him glory. They reflect His will and imitate His very nature – together.

And Paul sums up his teaching by calling it a “great mystery…an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (Ephesians 5:32 NLT). On a human level, it makes no sense. It seems illogical and impractical. To today’s modern sensibilities, it seems out of date and out of touch with reality. But Paul is revealing God’s will, not marriage advice. And he does sum up his teaching about this great mystery with some rather simple advice:

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.