virginity

A Gift Worth Preserving and Appreciating

Her Brothers

8 We have a little sister,
    and she has no breasts.
What shall we do for our sister
    on the day when she is spoken for?
9 If she is a wall,
    we will build on her a battlement of silver,
but if she is a door,
    we will enclose her with boards of cedar.

She

10 I was a wall,
    and my breasts were like towers;
then I was in his eyes
    as one who finds peace.

11 Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon;
    he let out the vineyard to keepers;
    each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver.
12 My vineyard, my very own, is before me;
    you, O Solomon, may have the thousand,
    and the keepers of the fruit two hundred.

He

13 O you who dwell in the gardens,
    with companions listening for your voice;
    let me hear it.

She

14 Make haste, my beloved,
    and be like a gazelle
or a young stag
    on the mountains of spices. – Song of Solomon 8:8-14 ESV

In these closing verses of the poem, there appears what must be the recollections of the woman’s brothers. Long before she was old enough to marry, they were watching over her sexual purity. When she was at an age “too young to have breasts” (Song of Solomon 8:8 NLT), they vowed to do everything in their power to protect her virginity so that she could present herself pure and undefiled to her husband on their wedding night. These loving brothers had agreed to serve as guardians of her purity.

If their young sister proved to have self-discipline and the ability to reject the impure advances of immoral men, they would provide her with an extra measure of protection.

If she is a virgin, like a wall,
    we will protect her with a silver tower. – Song of Solomon 8:9 NLT

The image is that of a battlement or protective wall. If their sister is willing to take all the proper measures to preserve her virginity, the brothers will assist her by acting as a watch tower.

“…if she has kept herself pure under their protective watch, they ‘will build on her a battlement of silver;’ that is, they will reward her virginity with their full blessing and support (‘silver’ perhaps referring to a generous dowry to be given to her husband). They will honor, celebrate, and adorn her self-protection with military splendor. She has fought the good right, and thus she shall be rewarded for her victory.” – Douglass Sean O‘Donnell – Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy

But what if their sister proved to be prone to promiscuity? Upon reaching puberty, she might decide to give in to the advances of young men who desired to rob her of her purity. In that case, the brothers would up their game and increase their vigilance.

But if she is promiscuous, like a swinging door,
    we will block her door with a cedar bar. – Song of Solomon 8:9 NLT

If she was incapable of controlling her sexual urges, the brothers would act as “guardians of the gate.” While she might not fully understand the value of her chastity, they did and were willing to protect it at all costs. It is likely that a few of her brothers were married men and understood the sanctity of the marriage bed. They had been fortunate to marry young women who had preserved their purity for their wedding night and they wanted that same joyful experience for their sister and her future husband.

It is unclear why the father is never mentioned in these verses, but it could be that he was deceased or simply unwilling to perform his parental duties. Whatever the case, the young woman was blessed to have brothers who took up the mantle of responsibility and served as her loving wall of security.

The efforts of the brothers proved to be effective because the young woman confesses, “I was a virgin, like a wall” (Song of Solomon 8:10 NLT). As an adolescent young girl, she had maintained her purity like a wall – with the loving assistance of her brothers. As a result, she was able to present herself to her husband as pure and undefiled on their wedding night.

…now my breasts are like towers.
When my lover looks at me,
    he is delighted with what he sees. – Song of Solomon 8:10 NLT

In verses 11-12, the former adolescent girl provides a powerful defense for protecting one’s virginity. She describes her purity as a valuable vineyard that one must protect and preserve. It is not for sale to the highest bidder. To drive home her point, she compares her “vineyard” with one owned by Solomon the king. Due to his great wealth, he possessed many vast estates and vineyards. He describes the extensive nature of his land holdings and material possessions in the Book of Ecclesiastes.

I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. – Ecclesiastes 2:4-8 ESV

He readily confessed his unbridled love affair with self-gratification.

…whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure… – Ecclesiastes 2:10 ESV

But his wife pointed out that much of what Solomon possessed was not his to enjoy. Even his vineyards were nothing more than income-producing properties.

Solomon has a vineyard at Baal-hamon,
    which he leases out to tenant farmers.
Each of them pays a thousand pieces of silver
    for harvesting its fruit. – Song of Solomon 8:11 NLT

He was paid by others for the use of his vineyard. In a sense, it no longer belonged to him. These men had bought the rights to enjoy the benefits of its fruit. Solomon could count his money, but he couldn’t eat the grapes or enjoy the wine they produced.

Yet, his wife points out that her “vineyard” was hers to give because she had refused to sell it off for temporary pleasure or profit. Because she had walled out her virginity, she had been able to give it to Solomon on their wedding night – at no cost to him. It had been a gift of priceless value, one that even the wealthy and pleasure-obsessed king could never have afforded.

Solomon had been completely unaware of the diligent care with which his wife’s brothers had protected her. He had been oblivious to the hard work they had put in to preserve this “vineyard” of vast worth and unparalleled beauty. But now, he was grateful that they had put in the effort.

In the closing lines of this poem, Solomon and his wife revisit the early days of their relationship. They reminisce about those carefree, love-obsessed moments when their marriage began. It is impossible to know the ages of these two when the poem ends, but they are still deeply in love and express the same passionate longings to be together. Solomon expresses his desire to hear his bride’s voice, and she calls out to him with an invitation to join her one more moment of sexual pleasure. Her vineyard is still hers to give and she willingly offers it to the love of her life.

The poem ends, but their love continues. The eight chapters of the Song of Solomon provide a brief glimpse into the relationship between one man and one woman. But their love story is meant to be the experience of each and every one of God’s children. He created marriage to be a blessing to mankind. The marriage bed was meant to be his gift to be shared by a husband and a wife. The poem provides glimpses of the love lives of these two individuals, but it is not comprehensive or complete. The poem closes with no glowing description of how their marriage ends but the reader is left with the impression that their love for one another never diminished.

What makes this poem difficult to understand is the knowledge that Solomon was far from a monogamous and faithful husband. The Book of 1 Kings reveals that by the time his kingdom came to an end, Solomon had amassed a harem of 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3). Not only that, many of these women were pagan princesses who brought their false gods with them. 

God had warned His people to avoid any intermarriage with the people who occupied the land of Canaan. Yet, Solomon had chosen to disobey God’s command.

King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.… And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord. – 1 Kings 11:1-2, 3 ESV

Did the Shulamite woman become just one among the many? Did Solomon’s deep love for her diminish over time? It is difficult to imagine that Solomon’s sexual attraction for his “beloved” remained strong when he had 999 options from which to choose. But none of this diminishes the message contained in the Song of Solomon. There was a moment when Solomon enjoyed and embraced God’s plan for marriage. But somewhere along the way, he allowed his pursuit of unbridled pleasure to replace his dedication to his bride. This man, who had experienced the joys of his bride’s “vineyard,” had become dissatisfied and distracted by the pleasures of this world. He had allowed a love affair with materialism and vanity-fueled pleasure-seeking to rob him of the joys of the marital relationship.

It’s interesting to note that Solomon included a proverb in his collection that contained the following words of wisdom from a man named Agur.

There are three things that amaze me—
    no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
    how a snake slithers on a rock,
    how a ship navigates the ocean,
    how a man loves a woman. – Proverbs 3018-19 NLT

Solomon had a harem that contained a thousand women, but he still didn’t understand the love between a woman and a man. God had given him to opportunity to glean all the lessons available through a loving relationship with one woman, but Solomon had squandered it. He had been given an invaluable gift from God but had failed to fully appreciate its worth.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.