Too Heavy Too Handle.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. – Psalm 139:17-18 ESV Psalm 139.

David is blown away with God. The very fact that God created him and knows everything about him was just too much for him. He uses a Hebrew word, yaqar to describe his feelings. It can mean to “be valuable, be precious, be costly”. But it can also be used metaphorically to mean “be heavy” or “hard to understand”. It is the same word used in the book of Daniel when the king asked his magicians to tell him his dream and his meaning. Their response was, “The thing that the king asks is difficult, and no one can show it to the king except the gods, whose dwelling is not with flesh” (Daniel 2:11 ESV). Given the context, it would seem that David is saying that God's thoughts regarding him are too heavy or difficult for him to comprehend. Remember, David has been speaking of God's creation of him, how He knew David before he was even formed in the womb. God already knew the day of his birth and the length of his life – long before his conception. God was aware of David's thoughts – even before they came out of his mouth as words. All of this was too much for David to get his head around. He said, “How vast is the sum of them!” He could have gone on forever, recounting even more amazing facts regarding God and His intimate involvement in his life.

David seems to say that when he goes to bed, he falls asleep thinking about about it and when he wakes up, there's still more. The word translated, “I am still with you” is `owd  and it means “a going round, continuance” (Strong's Exhaustive Concordance). It can simply mean “more”. In other words, David says he wakes up in the morning and there is even more to be amazed about regarding God's thoughts for him. It reminds me of another psalm of David where he writes, “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” (Psalm 8:3-4 ESV). Even Job, in his suffering, said to God, “What is man, that you make so much of him, and that you set your heart on him, visit him every morning and test him every moment?” (Job 7:17-18 ESV). The very idea that God takes notice of us, created us, cares for us, never takes His eyes off of us, and loves us, should astound us. To think that the God of the universe gives me a second thought at all should blow me away as it did David. As David has already acknowledged, “You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar” (Psalm 139:2 ESV). God is not some distant, disconnected deity who has no knowledge about or interest in His creation. He cares. In fact, He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us. He knows our weaknesses. He fully understands our inability to live up to His righteous standards. He is fully aware that we are incapable of not sinning. So He provided a way for us to be made right with Him that is not based on our own human effort, but on the death of His own Son. God knows us. And in spite of that, He still loves us. He knows our thoughts, even when we think we have kept them hidden. And yet, He is still willing to forgive us of those thoughts, if we will simply confess them to Him. He sees everything we do – the good, the bad, the ugly – and is still willing to show us mercy and extend to us His grace. That truly is amazing.

To think that God even gives me a second thought should leave me astounded. How easy it is for me to live my life thinking that all I say, think and do is done is obscurity. I am just one among billions. I am virtually unknown and little more than a blip on the radar screen of life. I can easily conclude that my contribution to life is inconsequential and of little value. But God, the one who created me, knows me, cares for me, watches over me, thinks about me, loves me enough to discipline me, and gave His Son to die for me. That's heavy. That's mind-boggling. But what a great reminder from the pen of David. I need to constantly consider the fact that I am known and loved by God. I must never forget that He made me – just as I am. As David said, He “formed my inward parts” and “knitted me together in my mother's womb”. He made me for a reason. He saved me, not because of anything I had done to deserve it, but simply because He loved me. He is constantly transforming me into the likeness of His Son. He never takes His eyes off of me. He holds me in His hands. He protects me, provides for me, guides me and disciplines me. And He always knows what is best for me. Hard to believe? No doubt about it. But my disbelief won't do anything but rob me of the joy of knowing just how much my God loves me. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV).

Made and Known By God.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. – Psalm 139:13-16 ESV

Psalm 139

God knows you. He knows everything about you. What an incredible thought. For David, it was the explanation behind everything he had already said in his prayer. He used the word, “for” as a transition, and for clarification. The reason God was inescapable, had David surrounded, and heard, saw and intervened in the affairs on his life, was because God was His creator. He had made David, so God knew everything about him. David expressed amazement and wonder at the fact that he had been made by God. He acknowledges to God, “you formed my inward parts.” The Hebrew word David used is kilyah and it literally means “kidneys.” But to the Hebrew mind it also referred to the seat of the emotions and affections. It was that inner part of man that controlled the emotions (heart) and moral character (mind). God had made each and every part of David, from the physical to the spiritual, the mental to the emotional. He had “knit” or “woven” David in his mother's womb. In other words, God had hand-crafted David. David's conclusion? “…I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Was David bragging about his own beauty and significance? Most likely not. He was expressing awe at the incredible realization that God had wonderfully made Him. His existence was not mere happenstance, but an act of God.

When David's bones were being formed in the womb, God was there. He oversaw the entire birth process from conception to David's first breath outside the womb. Even before he was born, David's name was written in God's book of the living. God already knew the length of his days and the activities that would mark his life. All of this speaks to the amazing sovereignty and power of God. Jesus even told us, “even the hairs of your head are all numbered” (Luke 12:7 ESV). For some, that number may be getting smaller, but God never loses count. He knows us. He made us. And nothing about us was a mistake. And as difficult as that may by for us to understand or appreciate sometimes, we must recognize that God is in control of all things at all times. If He is not, then He is not God. Yes, there are babies born with birth defects and grave illnesses that result in death even at the moment of birth. These diseases are not the creation of God. They are the result of sin infiltrating God's perfect creation and bringing with it the penalty of death, disease and disorder. We can see God's creation marred by the affects of sin in so many ways. It is all around us. So much of what we view in this life is an anomaly, a deviation from what God intended. But that does not alter the fact that God's creative process is amazing and awe-inspiring. Even in a world marred by sin, we see the amazing handiwork of God all around us.

For David, the knowledge of God's role in his life led to worship. He couldn't help but stand amazed at God's intimate involvement in his life. The realization that we have been hand-crafted by God should inspire awe and amazement, but also result in reverence, gratitude and worship. But too often, we express our discontent and dissatisfaction to God for how He made us. We question His wisdom and wonder about His love for us because we don't like how things have turned out for us. The prophet Isaiah has some strong words for those who think that way.“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’” (Isaiah 45:9 NLT). Again, Isaiah puts his thoughts quite bluntly. “How foolish can you be? He is the Potter, and he is certainly greater than you, the clay! Should the created thing say of the one who made it, ‘He didn't make me’? Does a jar ever say, ‘The potter who made me is stupid’?” (Isaiah 29:16 NLT). We may not like the way we look. We may not care for our circumstances in life. We may not agree with God's crafting of our form or how the final product turned out. But David would have us focus on the Creator, not the creature. He would encourage us to keep our attention on the Producer, not the final product. God is not done yet. For those of us in Christ, He is still crafting us. He is still molding and making us. Paul reminds us,  “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV). God's creative process in our lives is not yet complete. But that day is coming. For now, sin has marred His creation. But God will one day make all things right. He will make all things new. And any mars, defects and imperfections we suffer with now will be gone. God made us. He knows us. And He is not yet done with us.