12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? – 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 ESV
This is an extremely difficult passage, and there are as many opinions concerning it as there are commentaries that have been written about it. First of all, when Paul says, “To the rest I say, (I, not the Lord)” (1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV), he is not implying that what he has to say concerning these matters is simply his personal opinion and not divinely inspired. He is merely indicating that this is not something he heard taught by Jesus Himself. But as an expert in the Old Testament and an apostle of Jesus Christ, and because what he was writing was divinely inspired by the Spirit of God, his words must be considered as coming from God.
His emphasis in these verses shifts from addressing married couples who are comprised of believing husbands and wives. Now he is addressing those who, after coming to faith in Christ, find themselves married to an unbeliever. This would have been a common scenario in the church in Corinth. There were likely a good many who came to faith apart from their spouse and who found themselves in a potentially difficult and compromising circumstance. If there were children involved, the situation was even more complicated.
There were obviously those who counseled that it would be better for a Christian to divorce their unbelieving spouse than to remain married. Paul even gave what appears to be similar counsel in his second letter to the Corinthians.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? – 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 ESV
While this passage has been used to defend a ban on Christians marrying non-Christians, that was likely not Paul’s original point. He was addressing the need to avoid the kinds of relationships with unbelievers that might lead to spiritual defilement. This obviously applies to marriage, but is not restricted to it. Paul was not counseling or sanctioning that Christians separate themselves completely from the world because that would be impossible. In fact, earlier in this letter, he referred to another piece of correspondence to the Corinthians in which he had cautioned them, “not to associate with sexually immoral people” (1 Corinthians 5:9 ESV). But he clarified what he meant.
But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. – 1 Corinthians 5:10-11 NLT
So Paul was not proposing some form of Christian isolationism.
So, what is a Christian to do who finds themselves married to an unbeliever? Paul’s main point in this passage is divorce, and Paul would say that it is wrong for a believer to divorce their unbelieving spouse. Rather, they should view their salvation in a positive light and attempt to be a godly influence on their unbelieving spouse. Their very presence within the home sanctified it or set it apart.
It is difficult to know exactly what Paul meant when he wrote, “the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:14 ESV). It would be inconsistent with the rest of Scripture to say that Paul was implying the believing spouse somehow“saves” the marriage or converts the unbelieving partner. The lost spouse is made “holy” only in the sense that he or she finds themselves benefiting from the presence of a believer living within the same walls.
Living in close proximity to a redeemed, Spirit-filled spouse would have beneficial consequences. This is true of the children in the home as well. Paul is not suggesting that the unbelieving children of a household with a single believing parent are guaranteed salvation. This conclusion is illogical and unbiblical. Even children living in a household with two believing parents are not automatically made members of the household of God. But in a sense, they have been set apart by God by virtue of His having called one of their parents to a saving relationship with His Son.
The real point of these verses deals with what a believer is to do if their unbelieving spouse chooses to divorce them. The truth is that the very presence of a Christian in the home could drive the unbelieving partner away. As Peter indicates in his letter, there is a chance that a godly wife could have a positive impact on her unbelieving husband.
In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. – 1 Peter 3:1-2 NLT)
But there is also the strong possibility that her presence could produce conviction within the unbelieving spouse that results in conflict. There is no guarantee that a lost spouse will be led to the Lord by the believing partner. That is what Paul means when he asks, “For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). So
Paul’s counsel is that if a Christian finds themselves served divorce papers by an unbelieving spouse, they should not fight it. But at the same time, they should not be the instigators of divorce. Paul simply says, “If the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved” (1 Corinthians 7:15a ESV). His bottom-line goal was peace, not conflict. That is why he states, “God has called you to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15b ESV).
God receives no glory from a marriage in which two unequally yoked individuals fight and feud with one another. If the marriage is relatively conflict-free and the unbelieving partner is willing to remain married, the Christian should in no way seek divorce. A few verses later, Paul writes, “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called” (1 Corinthians 7:20 ESV).
These are difficult words, but they deal with the reality of the gospel entering into a difficult and desperately depraved world. When light shines in the darkness, conflict is inevitable. When believers come into contact with the lost, there will be tension, testing, and the potential for trouble. Jesus warned us that the world would hate us.
“If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” – John 15:18-18 NLT
Our redemption as believers places a target on our backs and makes us a prime candidate for persecution by the enemy. The life of a believer is not an easy one. Our call to live set-apart lives in a world that is set against us will not be a cake walk. We will be misunderstood, and, at times, we will be mistreated. But we will never be abandoned by our God.
Father, Jesus never said the Christian life would be easy. In fact, He wanted that it would be full of trials and difficulties. Paul was trying to encourage new believers who found themselves dealing with real-world problems that were testing their faith and causing them to lose hope. Having accepted Christ as their Savior, they were surrounded by lost friends and family members who were making their faith journey difficult. Many believers face the same challenges today. Yet, You have provided us with the body of Christ, the Word of God, and the promise of the indwelling presence and power of Your Spirit. Yet, our very presence in this world puts a target on our back. Salvation makes us a prime candidate for spiritual warfare because the enemy sees us as a threat to his earthly kingdom. Show us how to live distintinctively different lives in whatever context You saved us. Don’t allow us to run from difficulty, but, instead, give us the boldness to live out our faith in whatever context we find ourselves. Help us be salt and light in our marriages, families, work places, communitites, and churches. For Your glory and the good of all those who do not yet know Christ as their Savior. Amen
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.