The Joy of a Distraction-Free Life

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God. – 1 Corinthians 7:32-40 ESV

There is little doubt that Paul’s view is a bit idealistic. His motivation is sincere, but he is looking at the situation through the lens of his own life. He was a single man who had totally dedicated his life to the mission of spreading the gospel among the Gentile nations. He was totally committed to the commission given to him by Christ and would not allow anything or anyone to distract him. When Paul said, “I wish that all were as I myself am” (1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV), he was referring to his singleness. To the unmarried, he stated his opinion that “it is good for them to remain single as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8 ESV).

Paul knew that life could be difficult and was full of commitments and requirements on one’s time. There are the daily demands of life, such as work, providing for one’s family, relational issues, as well as societal demands and expectations. For the married individual, those things multiply exponentially. Which is why Paul advocated singleness. But this is where his idealistic nature comes out. He says, “the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32 ESV). In an ideal world, an undistracted, fully dedicated Christ-follower may find himself “anxious about the things of the Lord,” but not necessarily. There are plenty of unmarried men and women who find themselves anxious about anything and everything but the Lord. Singleness is not an antidote to spiritual distraction or the cure for an anemic commitment to Christ.

There is little doubt that the fewer earthly commitments and distractions we have, the easier it should be for us to dedicate our time and attention to the things of God. But it doesn’t always work out that way.

Paul writes, “the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:33 ESV). He is not saying a husband’s commitment to care for the needs of his wife and family is wrong. He is simply emphasizing the reality that the married individual will have a more difficult time finding the time to serve God without neglecting his family. Again, Paul is not indicating that caring for one’s wife and family is somehow unspiritual or insignificant. In reality, Paul knew well that a Christian was required by God to love his or her spouse and family well. They were to live out their faith in Christ within the context of the marriage union and display a Christ-like determination to love sacrificially and selflessly.

To be a godly wife or husband is a huge commitment, and that seems to be Paul’s point. As a single man, Paul was completely free to go and do whatever God demanded of him. He had few, if any, commitments that would keep him from responding to God’s call on his life.

Ideally, “the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit” (1 Corinthians 7:34 ESV). For Paul, singleness brought a singularity of focus, and he longed for others to experience that same freedom from earthly commitments and concerns. It wasn’t that he experienced no anxiety in his life, but that any anxious moments he had were usually associated with his mission as God’s apostle. Any worries he experienced were not about domestic issues, but about the state of the church.

At one point, Paul told the Galatians, “I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!” (Galatians 4:12 ESV). His concern for their spiritual growth was like that of a woman anxiously enduring the pains of labor as she waits for her child to be born, healthy and whole. Paul had few worldly distractions. He didn’t have a “honey-do” list, carpool duties, soccer games to attend, recitals to sit through, or do-it-yourself tasks to perform around the house. He was free to worry about the things of God, and he desired that same level of freedom for every believer. That is why he wrote, “ I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible” (1 Corinthians 7:36 NLT).

Paul makes it clear that he is not making the state of singleness more spiritual than that of marriage. To get married was not a sin, and to remain single did not make you a super saint. For Paul, it was a matter of practicality. Single people face fewer distractions and demands. They have more discretion regarding their time.  Paul told Timothy, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him” (2 Timothy 2:4 ESV). He seems to have had in mind a stipulation within the Mosaic law.

When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken. – Deuteronomy 24:5 ESV

Undivided attention is difficult when you have divided allegiances. Paul’s primary point in all of this has to do with devotion to God. He believed strongly that he was living in the last days and conducted his life as if Christ could return at any moment. There was no time to waste. The gospel needed to be taken to the ends of the earth. The message of salvation through faith alone in Christ alone needed to be heard by every person on every continent. To accomplish that formidable mission, Paul knew he needed the help of every able-bodied believer. He simply wanted the Corinthians to know that he was out to secure their undivided devotion to the Lord.

I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. – 1 Corinthians 7:35 NLT

As Jesus said, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few” (Luke 10:2 ESV). That is the motivating force behind Paul’s words. He lived with the end in mind and deeply desired that every believer would share his passion for proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ and experience the joy of a distraction-free life dedicated to the cause of Christ.

Father, it is difficult to argue with Paul’s logic, but it is also difficult to accept his conclusion. As a happily married man, I know firsthand that the role of a husband is full of distractions. My wife could easily testify to the many times I have made her walk with the Lord harder than it has to be. But we both know that God has used our marriage relationship to sanctify and perfect us. I strongly believe that we have accomplished more for the kingdom together than we would have even done on our own. Yet, I hear what Paul is saying. I understand his desire to see more believers sold out to the cause of Christ. Show my wife and me how to use our marriage for the good of the Kingdom. Don’t allow us to turn our divinely ordained union into a self-consumed, it’s-all-about-us relationship that loses sight of the Great Commission and fails to put the needs of others first. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Standing Out Rather Than Blending In

7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:7-11 ESV

Paul understood well the necessity of marriage. He believed the institution of marriage had been ordained by God and, when treated properly, could provide believers with the full benefits of their sexuality as intended by God. As far as Paul was concerned, marriage was the only appropriate context for sexual expression between a man and a woman, because that was how God had planned it. However, Paul had a personal appreciation for singleness. Evidently, Paul was unmarried at the time this letter was written. It is uncertain whether Paul had ever been married. But when he writes, “I wish that all were as I myself am,” he is stating a personal opinion, not the will of God. He is not declaring singleness as preferable to marriage. He simply understood that marriage demands a great deal of commitment and sacrifice, requiring each person in the relationship to put the needs of the other ahead of their own.

For Paul, being single allowed him the freedom to dedicate all his time and attention to the spread of the gospel and to his ministry to the growing number of churches around the world. He truly believed that his state of singleness was a gift from God, and it was God who had given him the self-control to live as an unmarried man and to not, as he put it, “burn with passion.” He had a supernatural, God-given capacity to resist the temptations associated with singleness. Lust, an ever-present temptation for every single person, was not an issue for Paul.

Even Jesus alluded to the existence of this gift of singleness. One day, He was confronted by the Pharisees and asked whether it was “lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause” (Matthew 19:3b ESV). Quoting from the Old Testament, Jesus replied, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6 ESV). Jesus went on to explain that “whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:9 NLT). Jesus was declaring marriage to be a binding covenant between two individuals. This declaration led one of the disciples to conclude, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” (Matthew 19:10 NLT). To His unnamed disciple’s less-than-enthusiastic statement, Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this statement. Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” (Matthew 19:11-12 NLT).

Jesus Himself never married, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me” (John 6:38 ESV). 

When it comes to ministry, singleness has its advantages, but it is not for everyone. So Paul goes on to address those who are married. He speaks first to the women, reminding them that they should not divorce their husbands. Paul was simply repeating the words of Jesus.

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” – Mark 10:11-12 NLT

Paul knew, as Jesus did, that God’s prohibition of divorce did not prevent it from happening. So they both commanded no remarriage after divorce. To do so was to commit adultery. Paul states that if a woman divorces her husband, “she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11a ESV). Then he adds, “and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:11b ESV).

Jesus seems to have given only one exception to His no-divorce mandate. When He stated, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 ESV), He appears to present sexual immorality on the part of one of the married partners as the only grounds for divorce. In the case of sexual immorality, the offending partner has broken the covenant of oneness. However, Paul emphasizes that whoever finds themselves divorced for whatever reason should remain single or be reconciled to their partner.

It is important to remember that Paul is calling the Corinthians believers to live out their faith in the midst of a dark, pagan culture where virtually anything was considered acceptable behavior. Divorce was commonplace, and sexual immorality was rampant. Sexual sins of all kinds were prevalent and regularly practiced. That is why he challenges the Corinthians to live lives worthy of their calling as followers of Christ. Their actions and attitudes were to be distinctly different than those of their unbelieving neighbors and friends. Their approach to life was to be determined by their faith, not their feelings. They were to be driven by a desire to please God, rather than the desire to pursue their own physical pleasures. 

It is highly possible that some in the church in Corinth were divorcing their spouses to escape having sexual relations altogether. More than likely, these individuals were influenced by the philosophy of dualism that flourished in Greek culture. This pagan belief taught that anything associated with the body was evil. Divorce allowed them to experience “freedom” from involvement with sex altogether. But that outlook was unbiblical and un-Christian. While the culture around them was distorting God’s views on everything from marriage to human sexuality, Paul was reminding them that they were the church of God, “sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints” (1 Corinthians 1:2 ESV).

Like the Corinthians, we have been called to live lives that are set apart from the world. We are to be holy, different, and distinct. As God’s children, we exist to bring Him glory. As Paul declared to the believers in Ephesus, “we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).

Father, Your Son made it painfully clear when He stated, “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you” (John 15:9 NLT). Yet, we often live as if we are still part of this world and we convince ourselves that the world is our friend. But Jesus said the world would hate us just as it hated Him. This world is not our home, but we go out of our way to make ourselves comfortable here. We acclimate, accomodate, compromise, and attempt to co-exist with a system that stands opposed to all that we believe. Paul’s call to live distinctively different lives in the midst of a sin-filled, self-absorbed society still holds true today. Open our eyes to the reality of Your non-negotiable expectation that we live lives worthy of Your calling on our lives. Help us to stand out rather than blend in — for our good and Your glory. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Matter of Priorities.

1 Corinthians 7:25-40

But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away. – 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 NLT

As Paul continued to answer the questions he had received from the believers in Corinth, he summarized his response with a call to reconsider their priorities. Most of their questions had to do with whether certain things we worth doing or not. Should they get married or remain single? If they were married to an unbelieving spouse, should they leave them? Should a believing couple abstain from sex in order to make their marriage more holy? Paul's advice, considering the growing persecution they would face, was simple and direct: "I think it is best to remain as you are" (1 Corinthians 7:26 NLT). If you're single, stay that way. If you're married, remain so. But then he told them something incredibly significant that seemed intended to refocus their priorities. He informed them that the time was very short. They needed to have more short-term, rather than long-term goals and objectives. They needed to understand that there was going to be a day when the Lord returned. No one knows that day, but it is inevitable and unavoidable. Paul had no idea when the exact date of Christ's return would be, but he knew that his own time on earth was limited. He understood that this world is a temporary reality and has a limited shelf life. Most of the questions he had received from the Corinthians were evidence that they viewed this world and their life in it as a high priority. Paul was trying to give them a more eternal perspective.

The words of Paul is this passage are difficult for us to hear and even more difficult for us to agree with. He tells the married men, "So then those who have wives should be as those who have none" (1 Corinthians 7:29b NET). This sounds radical and even unbiblical. What is he saying? It would seem that Paul is trying to tell married men to not focus all their attention on their married state. He is not suggesting that they abandon their responsibilities as husbands or that they no longer love their wives as Christ loved the Church. He is telling them that nothing in this world – marriage, singleness, sorrow, happiness, material things or physical pleasures – should demand all our attention and distract us from our true calling as Christ-followers. "For this world as we know it will soon pass away" (1 Corinthians 7:31b NLT).

Paul wanted them to be free from the concerns of this life. He was not suggesting that they abandon their responsibilities and live some kind of ascetic lifestyle, denying themselves any kind of enjoyment or pleasure from this world. He was simply trying to get them to rethink their priorities and refocus their attention on what was really important. For Paul, it was simple. A single man or woman had more available time to serve the Lord. They could dedicate more of their life to Kingdom causes, without having to feel guilty that they were neglecting their marital responsibilities. The more earthly ties we have, the more difficult it will be for us to focus our attention on the things of heaven. This world has a way of distracting us from the things of God. It isn't that the things of this life are evil or wrong, but if we're not careful, we can end up focusing all our attention on temporal issues and lose sight of the fact that we are eternal beings and this world as we know it is not our final destination. At the end of the day, Paul just wanted the believers in Corinth to set the priorities of their lives so that they could serve the Lord as successfully as possible. "I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible" (1 Corinthians 7:35 NLT).

One of the constant risks for us as followers of Christ in this fallen world is to find our value and meaning from the things of this world. We cannot afford to let whether we are married or not define who we are. We cannot afford to let our possessions, or lack of them, define who we are. We cannot afford to let our sadness or happiness determine who we are. We must constantly remind ourselves that we are, first and foremost, disciples of Christ. We are His ambassadors. We are citizens of His Kingdom, not of this world. We are temporary residents in this temporal environment. This world is not our home. We must constantly protect ourselves from divided interests. Again, Paul is not encouraging the Corinthians or us to abandon our earthly responsibilities, but to manage them wisely. Our problem is that we tend to add more and more responsibilities and earthly distractions that keep us from focusing our attention on the spiritual aspect of our lives. We live under the delusion that this world is all there is and that we must grab as much of it as possible while there is time to do so. But the end result is that we become burdened down with distractions that take our eyes off the Lord and absorb all our time, preventing us from serving Him effectively. For Paul, serving God was priority number one. That objective had to be considered at all times. Anything that distracts us from making Him our highest priority has to be evaluated and re-prioritized. That does not mean that we have to leave our spouses, quit our jobs, abandon our friendships, sell all our possessions, or dedicate our lives to full-time Christian service. It simply means that we must never allow anything to become more important than our relationship with and dedication to God. The truth is, when we make Him our highest priority, we become better husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, employees and employers, friends, neighbors, and citizens. It is when we understand that we are to have no other gods, no other idols, no other sources of worth or worship, that we are able to live in this world, but not be absorbed by it.

Father, reset our priorities. Make us Kingdom people who live with the future in mind. Don't let us buy into the lie that this world is all there is and that we must grab as much of it as we can while we can. Don't let us lose sight of what is of real importance: Our relationship with You. Amen.

Right Where God Wants You.

1 Corinthians 7:1-24

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. – 1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT

The Corinthians had questions. Their new-found faith in Christ has raised some interesting issues and caused them to reach some dangerous conclusions. So the appealed to Paul by sending him a letter laced with questions concerning a wide variety of issues. Chapter seven of 1 Corinthians contains Paul's response. One of the first things they asked about was sexual relationships. This one was extremely confusing for them. They lived in a sexually charged society where sexual immorality was part of the daily worship in the pagan temples. Promiscuity was common place. Marital infidelity was rampant and almost expected. So one of the first questions they asked Paul was whether they should simply abstain from sexual relationships altogether. The problem was that some of them had come to view sex as something perverted and immoral, which led to them to conclude that they would be better off without it. It seems that others within the church were being tempted to take on the standards of the culture around them, where adultery was not only accepted, but expected. There were others who had come to faith in Christ, while their spouses had not. They were struggling with whether or not they should leave their unbelieving spouse. There were evidently some married couples in the church who had completely eliminated the sexual relationship from their marriage – all because they had mistakenly concluded that sex was sinful and wrong. Some, who were single, were struggling with whether or not they should get married at all. After all, if sex was immoral, then what purpose could there be in getting married. But by refusing to get married, these individuals were not eliminating their sexual desires. Their decision was leading to lust and potentially the sin of sex outside of marriage.

It would seem that Paul had been inundated with all kinds of questions in the letter he had received. And he methodically and patiently answers each and every one of them. But there is a phrase that Paul uses three separate times in his response. His repetitive use of this phrase was a not-so-subtle attempt to give it extra weight. He was trying to drive home an important message. After answering a number of their questions, Paul said, "Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you" (1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT). Just a few lines later, he repeats the same admonition: "Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you" (1 Corinthians 7:20 NLT). Then he said it one more time for emphasis. "Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you" (1 Corinthians 7:24 NLT). In their attempt to be "good Christians," the Corinthians believers were contemplating some serious, but misguided alterations to their lifestyles. Believing spouses were seriously considering walking out on their unbelieving partners – even if it meant leaving their children behind. To drive home his point, Paul used the illustration of circumcision. A man who had been circumcised prior to becoming a Christian would not need to try and reverse the procedure after coming to Christ. And a man who was uncircumcised prior to coming to Christ would not need to get circumcised post-conversion. Circumcision was not the point. It was obedience to God. Couples that were considering the elimination of sex from their relationship should think seriously and soberly before making a change of that magnitude. While there might be some short-term situations where abstinence made sense, it was not a good long-term strategy. Paul encouraged those Corinthian believers who had been slaves when they came to Christ to willingly remain slaves. He reminded them that it was more important that they understood they were now free from enslavement to sin and the world.

The Corinthians were confused and struggling with how to live out their faith in their daily lives. Paul seemed to be encouraging them to stay right where they were and watch God work in their current circumstances. How many times have you seen someone come to faith in Christ, then begin to question everything? Should they remain in school or in a certain relationship? Should they quit their job and go to seminary? Should they change careers and look for something more "spiritual?" Should they downsize their home and sell all their possessions? What Paul seems to be saying is that we all need to understand that God was fully aware of our circumstances when He called us. He knew our situation intimately and saved us in the midst of it. In Paul's mind, it made sense to stay right where you were when God saved you. This does not mean that we should not seek life change and transformation. But we have to understand that a change in circumstance will not make us more holy. Leaving an unbelieving spouse will not result in increased sanctification. When God saves someone, His intention is to set that person apart right where he is. He wants them to be salt and light in his current context. God saved Paul and then used him right where he was. He gave him a new message and a new purpose in life, but he left him in the same environment where he could be an influence on his former peers. Sometimes were are tempted to make wholesale changes to our lives when we come to Christ. But sometimes we need to sit pat and wait for God to show us what He would have us do. Remaining where we are and in the circumstances in which we were saved takes patience and faith. A married woman who becomes a believer will need the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit to live in a home with a husband who remains unsaved and possibly antagonistic to her new-found faith. A new believer who finds himself working in a less-than-fulfilling job will need to trust God and wait for His direction before assuming that he would be better off somewhere else. God saved him right where he was. He knew his circumstances and probably had a purpose for converting him in the midst of that context. The question to ask is, "What would God have me do?"

If we're not careful, we could become so obsessed with making changes in our circumstances that would allow us to serve God more effectively, that we overlook the opportunities right in front of our face. So often, God has us right where He wants us. But we refuse to accept that reality. We get wrapped up in the questions of "What if...?" What if I weren't married? What if I weren't single? What if I had a different job? What if I lived in a different city? What if I stopped doing this and started doing that? What if didn't have all these responsibilities holding me back? What if? What if? What if? Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.

Father, it is so easy to play the "What if?" game We think a change in circumstances will change everything. And yet, You tend to have us right where You want us. If You want to change our circumstances, You are fully capable. Teach us to be content. I want to be able to say as Paul did, "...for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Amen.