words of encouragement

Learning to Listen Before Speaking

1 “But now, hear my speech, O Job,
    and listen to all my words.
2 Behold, I open my mouth;
    the tongue in my mouth speaks.
3 My words declare the uprightness of my heart,
    and what my lips know they speak sincerely.
4 The Spirit of God has made me,
    and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
5 Answer me, if you can;
    set your words in order before me; take your stand.
6 Behold, I am toward God as you are;
    I too was pinched off from a piece of clay.
7 Behold, no fear of me need terrify you;
    my pressure will not be heavy upon you.

8 “Surely you have spoken in my ears,
    and I have heard the sound of your words.
9 You say, ‘I am pure, without transgression;
    I am clean, and there is no iniquity in me.
10 Behold, he finds occasions against me,
    he counts me as his enemy,
11 he puts my feet in the stocks
    and watches all my paths.’

12 “Behold, in this you are not right. I will answer you,
    for God is greater than man.
13 Why do you contend against him,
    saying, ‘He will answer none of man's words’?
14 For God speaks in one way,
    and in two, though man does not perceive it.
15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,
    when deep sleep falls on men,
    while they slumber on their beds,
16 then he opens the ears of men
    and terrifies them with warnings,
17 that he may turn man aside from his deed
    and conceal pride from a man;
18 he keeps back his soul from the pit,
    his life from perishing by the sword.

19 “Or God disciplines people with pain on their sickbeds,
    with ceaseless aching in their bones.
20 They lose their appetite
    for even the most delicious food.
21 Their flesh wastes away,
    and their bones stick out.
22 They are at death’s door;
    the angels of death wait for them.” –
Job 33:1-22 ESV

Whatever credibility Elihu may lack due to his young age, he more than makes up for in swagger. He is an extremely confident individual who believes he has a divine calling to shed light on Job’s situation.

“I speak with all sincerity;
    I speak the truth.
For the Spirit of God has made me,
    and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” – Job 33:4 NLT

Yet, Elihu tries to win Job over by emphasizing their commonality. Both of them, he points out, are products of God’s creation, having been “formed from clay” (Job 33:6 NLT). Since they are mere men who have been created by and belong to God, there is no reason that Job should refuse to listen to what Elihu has to say. He insists that he is no threat to Job.

“So you don’t need to be afraid of me.
    I won’t come down hard on you.” – Job 33:7 NLT

Having tried to placate Job by stressing their similarities, Elihu shifts gears and begins to address where he and Job disagree. He starts by condensing all of Job’s complaints down to one simple sentence.

“You said, ‘I am pure; I am without sin;
    I am innocent; I have no guilt.
God is picking a quarrel with me,
    and he considers me his enemy.
He puts my feet in the stocks
    and watches my every move.’” – Job 33:9-11 NLT

This is an unfair and over-simplistic assessment of Job’s lengthy responses to Bildad, Eliphaz, and Bildad. In his desire to point out the flaws in Job’s arguments, Elihu resorts to reductionism, “the practice of simplifying a complex idea, issue, condition, or the like, esp. to the point of minimizing, obscuring, or distorting it” (collinsdictionary.com).

A quick review of Job’s earlier speeches confirms that he believed himself to be innocent of all charges leveled against him by his three friends, but at no time did Job ever declare himself to be sin-free. His only point was that he was not guilty of anything worthy of the kind of suffering he had endured. He had done nothing to deserve the collapse of his entire fortune, the deaths of his children, or the loss of his health. And because Job believed God to be sovereign over all things, the only conclusion he could reach was that God was behind it all. In Job’s mind, either God caused his suffering or, for some reason, refused to prevent it.

But Elihu takes issue with Job’s conclusion, and rebukes him for his arrogant and disrespectful view of God.

“you are wrong, and I will show you why.
    For God is greater than any human being.
So why are you bringing a charge against him?” – Job 33:12-13 NLT

Elihu had not been listening. He heard the words that came out of Job’s mouth but he was oblivious to the state of Job’s heart. Rather than probe behind all the impassioned rhetoric of his suffering friend, Elihu placed himself in the position of being the thought police. He was so busy monitoring Job’s use of words that he was unable to hear what Job was trying to say. Job wasn’t attacking God; he was simply trying to make sense of his ongoing pain and suffering. Job wasn’t blaming God either. All he was asking for was an explanation and the hope of vindication.

But Elihu heard what he wanted to hear, and in his mind, Job was nothing less than a blasphemer. As he had sat listening to Job’s responses to the other three interrogators, Elihu had deduced that Job was disparaging the Almighty. This made Job an enemy of God. Elihu heard Job repeatedly declare that all he wanted was a response from God. Job was demanding that God give him an audience and provide him with answers. But Elihu suggests that God had already spoken but Job was not listening.

“God speaks again and again,
    though people do not recognize it.
He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night…” – Job 33:14-15 NLT

Elihu asserts that Job had probably received word from God in the form of a dream but he refused to listen to what God to say. Without any evidence to back up his assertion, Elihu claims that Job had been warned by God but didn’t take the warning seriously. According to Elihu’s assessment, God had already revealed to Job the cause of his suffering. He had visited Job in a dream and warned him to repent or suffer the consequences.

“He whispers in their ears
    and terrifies them with warnings.
He makes them turn from doing wrong;
    he keeps them from pride.” – Job 33:16-17 NLT

Elihu’s conclusion was that Job could have escaped all his pain and suffering if he had only listened to God. Therefore, he was responsible for his own undoing. And, to make matters worse, Elihu suggests that God was still trying to speak to Job through his pain.

“God disciplines people with pain on their sickbeds,
    with ceaseless aching in their bones.” – Job 33:19 NLT

It was all so clear to the overconfident Elihu. Job had lost everything because he refused to heed the warnings of God, and his continued suffering was a sign of God’s ongoing discipline. It was as simple as that.

Elihu shows little or no compassion. He exhibits no empathy for his older friend because he has no personal experience with such matters. It is unlikely that Elihu has ever lost all that he holds dear. His has no concept of what Job has suffered. He has no basis for understanding the pain behind Job’s words. So, he resorts to simplistic deductions that paint Job as a stubborn and unrepentant sinner who is getting exactly what he deserves.

Like his three companions, Elihu meant well. He is not an evil man who is guilty of kicking his brother while he is down. He sincerely believes that he is in the right and has the solution to Job’s problem. But in his haste to be the bearer of “good news,” Elihu ends up being the harbinger of doom and gloom. His words bring little comfort to Job. Instead, they are condemning and rather condescending, treating Job like he is nothing more than a stubborn child in need of a spanking or a time-out.

Elihu will attempt to shine a dim glimmer of hope on Job’s darkened world, but it will be well outside of Job’s control. God will not listen to Job, Elihu asserts, but He may be open to “a special messenger to intercede for a person and declare that he is upright” (Job 33:23 NLT). So, in effect, all Job can do is sit in silence and hope for the best.

Both men agree that God is in control, but Elihu suggests that Job has no right to demand an audience with the Almighty. He totally rejects Job’s suggestion that God owes Him an answer and just might acquit him of any wrongdoing. For Elihu, that kind of thinking was ungodly and out of bounds for any faithful God-follower. But the young and inexperienced Elihu had a lot to learn. In time, he would discover the truth behind God’s words.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Falling in Love with the Sound of Your Own Voice

1 So these three men ceased to answer Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. 2 Then Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, burned with anger. He burned with anger at Job because he justified himself rather than God. 3 He burned with anger also at Job's three friends because they had found no answer, although they had declared Job to be in the wrong. 4 Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because they were older than he. 5 And when Elihu saw that there was no answer in the mouth of these three men, he burned with anger.

6 And Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite answered and said:

“I am young in years,
    and you are aged;
therefore I was timid and afraid
    to declare my opinion to you.
7 I said, ‘Let days speak,
    and many years teach wisdom.’
8 But it is the spirit in man,
    the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand.
9 It is not the old who are wise,
    nor the aged who understand what is right.
10 Therefore I say, ‘Listen to me;
    let me also declare my opinion.’

11 “Behold, I waited for your words,
    I listened for your wise sayings,
    while you searched out what to say.
12 I gave you my attention,
    and, behold, there was none among you who refuted Job
    or who answered his words.
13 Beware lest you say, ‘We have found wisdom;
    God may vanquish him, not a man.’
14 He has not directed his words against me,
    and I will not answer him with your speeches.

15 “They are dismayed; they answer no more;
    they have not a word to say.
16 And shall I wait, because they do not speak,
    because they stand there, and answer no more?
17 I also will answer with my share;
    I also will declare my opinion.
18 For I am full of words;
    the spirit within me constrains me.
19 Behold, my belly is like wine that has no vent;
    like new wineskins ready to burst.
20 I must speak, that I may find relief;
    I must open my lips and answer.
21 I will not show partiality to any man
    or use flattery toward any person.
22 For I do not know how to flatter,
    else my Maker would soon take me away.” – Job 32:1-22 ESV

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar have given up. After a lengthy series of heated debates with Job, these three men have decided to abandon their quest to convict him of sin. He has stubbornly maintained his innocence and refuses to admit to any wrongdoing.  His problem, as they see it, was that “he was righteous in his own eyes” (Job 32:1 ESV). They didn’t agree with Job’s assessment, but they were done trying to convince him otherwise. He had proven to be too tough a nut to crack and they were exhausted from the effort.

But just as Job was about to get some much-needed relief, the cavalry shows up in the form of Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite. This young man had been waiting in the wings, biding his time and biting his tongue as he let his three older companions handle the interrogation of Job. After all, they were his seniors and should have had the years of experience and wisdom that comes with age. But their performance had left Elihu more than disappointed; he was furious. Not only was he angry with Job for his refusal to confess his sins but he was livid with his three older companions because they had given up so easily.

He was also angry with Job’s three friends, for they made God appear to be wrong by their inability to answer Job’s arguments. – Job 32:3 NLT

His frustration loosened his tongue and emboldened him to speak his mind, and his first words were addressed to his older and supposedly wiser companions.

"It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right. Therefore I say: Listen to me; I too will tell you what I know." – Job 32:9-10 NIV

Elihu has patiently waited for his older and wiser friends to speak up and force Job to shut up. But, from his estimation, they have failed miserably. According to him, all they had managed to do was make God look bad. So, when he finally decided to speak up, he aimed his first volley of invective at the three unsuccessful sages. 

First, he questions their intellect, insinuating that old age is no guarantee of wisdom.

“…there is a spirit within people,
    the breath of the Almighty within them,
    that makes them intelligent.” – Job 32:8 NLT

And just to make sure they didn’t miss what he was saying, Elihu puts it in black and white.

“Sometimes the elders are not wise.
    Sometimes the aged do not understand justice.” – Job 32:9 NLT

To say that Elihu suffers from overconfidence would be an understatement. This young man, full of vitality and energy, has been waiting for a chance to speak his mind, and once he opens his mouth what comes out is not exactly flattering.

Like Job's three other friends, Elihu is well-intended but poorly informed. He is so ready to share his vast reservoir of wisdom that he is about to explode.

"I am like a wine cask without a vent. My words are ready to burst out! I must speak to find relief, so let me give my answers.” – Job 32:19-20 NLT

Elihu was like a volcano that has lain dormant for a long time and has now awakened and ready to erupt. He should have recognized that as the first sign that he should take a deep breath and consider his words carefully. His unbridled enthusiasm coupled with his seething rage was going to produce some unpleasant statements that he would eventually regret. Elihu was mistaking passion for wisdom. He was confusing opinion with understanding. His own words reveal his prideful arrogance.

“…listen to me,
    and let me tell you what I think.” – Job 32:10 NLT

“If Job had been arguing with me,
    I would not answer with your kind of logic! – Job 32:14 NLT

“I will say my piece.
    I will speak my mind.
For I am full of pent-up words,
    and the spirit within me urges me on.” – Job 32:17-18 NLT

Elihu would have used the wise words of James.

My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. – James 1:19 NLT

The Proverbs have a lot to say about choosing our words carefully and using them sparingly.

When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. – Proverbs 10:19 BSB

A man of knowledge restrains his words, and a man of understanding maintains a calm spirit. – Proverbs 17:27 BSB

Elihu wrestles with restraint and exhibits an oversized ego. It is amazing how often he speaks of himself. His more than 40 uses of personal pronouns must have set a world record. Elihu comes across as an arrogant and prideful young man who appears woefully lacking in discernment. He exhibits many of the characteristics of the fool as described in the Book of Proverbs:

The wise are glad to be instructed,
    but babbling fools fall flat on their faces. – Proverbs 10:8 NLT

Wise people treasure knowledge,
    but the babbling of a fool invites disaster. – Proverbs 10:14 NLT

The words of the godly encourage many,
    but fools are destroyed by their lack of common sense. – Proverbs 10:21 NLT

Elihu seems to believe that because he was made by God, he was qualified to speak for God. In chapter 33, which chronicles the second half of his lengthy diatribe, Elihu confidently boasts, “I speak with all sincerity; I speak the truth. For the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life" (Job 33:3-4 NLT).

That is a dangerous assumption for anyone to make. Sincerity is not a guarantee of accuracy or spiritual insight. One can speak sincerely and be sincerely wrong. Saying what you believe to be the truth can be a dangerous and deadly exercise because words carry weight and produce consequences. Thinking you are right is not enough. Believing you have all the answers is not a sign of wisdom; it is evidence of pride.

As Elihu sat back and listened to the conversations between his three friends and Job, he became increasingly agitated and anxious to set the record straight. He knew he had the answer and couldn’t wait to inform his less-enlightened colleagues. It was his time to shine and he couldn’t contain himself.

“I must speak to find relief,
    so let me give my answers.” – Job 32:20 NLT

Elihu could have used the old adage, “Silence is golden.” But he was driven by the desire to hear the sound of his own voice. He wanted everyone to listen to what he had to say because he was convinced that he was right and they were wrong. Yet his motivation was purely selfish and self-centered. It was all about Elihu, not Job. He was less interested in Job’s repentance and restoration than he was in elevating his own reputation as being wise beyond his years.

But in his zeal to be right and respected, Elihu violated the very wisdom of God.

The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,
    but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. – Proverbs 15:2 NLT

Patience can persuade a prince,
    and soft speech can break bones. – Proverbs 25:15 NLT

Elihu will reveal the extent of his pride in the closing verses of chapter 33, which contains the second half of his ego-driven speech.

"Pay attention, O Job, listen to me; Keep silent, and let me speak. Then if you have anything to say, answer me; Speak, for I desire to justify you. If not, listen to me; Keep silent, and I will teach you wisdom." – Job 33:31-33 NASB

The arrogance of Elihu is amazing. One can’t help but feel a sense of embarrassment just reading his words. They come across as so pompous and arrogant that it’s difficult to believe that Elihu managed to get them out of his mouth.

But Elihu is not alone in his penchant for claiming the moral high ground. We all have a bit of Elihu inside us and it tends to reveal itself at the most inopportune moments. The temptation to speak our minds is strong and difficult to control. As Yoda said of Luke Skywalker, “The force is strong in this one.” So, we have to be careful how we use our words. We must be mindful that our passion to be heard and to be right can sometimes be so incredibly wrong.  

Elihu was right in one respect, wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age; it comes from God, and it begins with a fear of God.

Fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Only fools despise wisdom and discipline. – Proverbs 1:7 NLT

As we grow in our knowledge of God, we increase in wisdom and discernment. Our limited human understanding gets imbued with His divine knowledge and discretion. I We will become wise, but not just in our own eyes. We will find joy in being righteous, not just right. We will learn what it means to speak words of comfort, not just correction. And we will find joy in displaying the heart of God, not just parroting the words of God.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Some good advice.

Proverbs 10

"Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep you mouth shut." – Proverbs 10:19 NLT

Let's face it, our words can get us into trouble. There was a popular saying during WWII that said, "Loose lips sink ships." In other words, because of the reality of spies, it could be dangerous to speak about things concerning the war because you never knew who might be listening. A simple case of gossip could have devastating consequences for the entire nation. Our tongue can get us into trouble. James wasn't a huge fan of the tongue. "And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself" (James 3:6 NLT). But the tongue can also be used for good. Solomon says, "The words of the godly are like sterling silver" (Proverbs 10:20 NLT). They have value and worth. He also reminds us that the words of the godly can be used to encourage many. "The mouth of the godly person gives wise advice" (Proverbs 10:31 NLT) and "The lips of the godly speak helpful words" (Proverbs 10:32 NLT).

But the truth is, we all struggle with knowing what to say and when to say it. We speak too quickly and we can too often say the wrong thing and the wrong time. We mean well, but we can still speak words that harm rather than help. We are too often too quick with an answer. We fail to think about what we are going to say and we we tend to think what we have to say is always right. And then we wonder why our words blow up in our face and end up doing damage to the ones we love. Maybe we need to heed Solomon's advice. "Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut" (Proverbs 10:19 NLT). This verse reminds me of one of the Old Testament prophets. His name was Ezekiel and he was given the unenviable task of speaking the convicting word of God to the people of Israel. They were a rebellious and stubborn group of people who refused to listen, and Ezekiel, being human, found himself getting frustrated with their lack of obedience and response. God had appointed Ezekiel a watchman over Israel. He was told that every time he received a message from God, he was to tell it to the people. God was going to hold him personally responsible for the deaths of anyone whom he failed to warn. If he warned them and they failed to listen, then their death was own their own hands. So it was vital that Ezekiel say ONLY what God had told him to say. It would have been dangerous for Ezekiel to ad-lib and come up with his own version of the truth. So God did him a favor. "Then the Spirit came into me and set me on my feet. He spoke to me and said, “Go to your house and shut yourself in. There, son of man, you will be tied with ropes so you cannot go out among the people. And I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be speechless and unable to rebuke them, for they are rebels. But when I give you a message, I will loosen your tongue and let you speak. Then you will say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says!’." (Ezekiel 3:24-27 NLT). God struck Ezekiel dumb. He could only speak when he spoke what God had given him to say. His own words got stuck in his throat. If he was angry and wanted to read the Israelites the riot act, he was unable to do so. If he got frustrated and wanted to give them a peace of his mind, he couldn't. If he felt like he had some good advice they needed to hear, he had to keep it to himself. He could only speak when he spoke what God had give him to say. Think about it. Wouldn't that be a great restriction for all of us to be under? Wouldn't it be better for all parties involved if the only things we could say were what God had given us to say? Our tongues get us into trouble when we speak on our own behalf and according to our own "wisdom." We say what is on our mind. We respond in anger of frustration. We give what we think is good advice, but it ends up being ungodly. It's not biblically based or Spirit motivated. James tells us, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry" (James 1:19 NLT). We need to learn to shut up and listen. We need to hear what's being said by others before we determine what it is we are going to say in response. And we need to learn to listen to God, so that when we do speak, we say what He would have us say. There are times when silence is truly golden.

Father, keep me from speaking my own words. I do it far too often. Help me learn to listen to You and to keep my advice to myself. Let me learn to hear from You so that I might speak for You. Forgive me for the damage I have done with my tongue. Give me an ever-growing sensitivity to Your counsel and an increasing desire to say only what You would have me say. Amen