The Lost Need a Savior, Not a Friend

14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,

“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
    and I will be their God,
    and they shall be my people.
17 Therefore go out from their midst,
    and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
    then I will welcome you,
18 and I will be a father to you,
    and you shall be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.” – 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 ESV

There is a huge difference between being a conduit through which God’s redeeming grace can flow to the lost and becoming, as Paul describes it, unequally yoked with them. It was Paul’s desire that the Corinthians be gracious and loving to all, but he feared that they would turn the love of God into tolerance and His graciousness into an inappropriate excuse to associate with the ungodly.

Paul had already witnessed their unacceptable handling of the man in their congregation who was having an affair with his stepmother. Rather than mourning over this man’s immoral behavior, they had arrogantly approved of it, allowing him to remain a part of their fellowship. But Paul read them the riot act, boldly stating, “You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.” (1 Corinthians 5:2 NLT).

Paul’s concern was that the Corinthians would interpret his appeal to grace as an invitation to accept anyone and everyone, regardless of their behavior or lifestyle. Paul understood that we must meet people where they are to share the gospel with them, but that the power of the gospel would not allow them to remain in that same state, unchanged. The good news of Jesus Christ is transformative and life-altering.

Associating with the lost is necessary if we want to share with them the hope available to them through faith in Jesus Christ. But Paul differentiates between casual acquaintances and unhealthy associations. His concern is when a believer develops a close, overly accommodating relationship with an unbeliever. This passage often gets applied to the marriage context, and rightfully so. But it has more far-reaching applications, covering everything from business partnerships to close friendships. The imagery Paul uses is that of a yoke, a common farming implement that teams two animals to pull a plow. The idea of being unequally yoked involved putting two different animals with different temperaments in the yoke together, such as an ox and a donkey. These two animals have different physical characteristics and personalities and would not naturally associate with one another. So, if they were yoked together, they would pull at different speeds and actually fight one another, making the work inefficient and unacceptable to the farmer. Their efforts would be wasted, and the farmer’s goal of plowing the field would be thwarted.

This is what Paul has in mind when he tells the Corinthians not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers; such a partnership is unacceptable and antithetical. He compares it to light and darkness or righteousness and lawlessness. Unbelievers, by virtue of their unredeemed state, serve a different master, so why would a follower of Christ willingly align themselves with a child of Satan? Yes, that sounds harsh, but the apostle John reminds us of its reality.

Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God. So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers does not belong to God. – 1 John 3:7-10 NLT

Paul is not suggesting that believers avoid all relationships with the lost; that would be impossible. In fact, in his first letter to the Corinthians, he clarified a statement he had made that had been misunderstood and misapplied.

When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. – 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 NLT

Paul warns them against developing or maintaining unhealthy alliances with the lost. To do so would be counterproductive and put them in a position where their allegiance to Christ would be strained and hampered. Paul reminds the Corinthians that they are the temple of God, and uses a variety of Old Testament texts to drive home his point. Just as God had chosen the people of Israel to be His people, believers have been hand-picked by God to be members of His family. They have been separated by and consecrated to God. So God expects them to disassociate themselves from the other nations that surround them. That is what Paul means when he writes, “Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord” (2 Corinthians 6:17 NLT).

The apostle Peter encourages us to consider ourselves as aliens and strangers on this earth, living as if we don’t belong here, because our real home is in heaven.

Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world. – 1 Peter 2:11-12 NLT

We are citizens of a different Kingdom and answer to a different King, and while we are on this earth, we serve as His ambassadors, accomplishing His will by doing His work. That will become increasingly more difficult, if not impossible, if we align ourselves with those who do not share our allegiance to Him. As Paul wrote to the Corinthians in his first letter: “But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them, and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others” (1 Corinthians 2:14-15 NLT).

As children of God, we are to constantly submit ourselves to the will of God and serve Him at all times. But if we allow ourselves to become unequally yoked to a non-believer, either through marriage, friendship, or a business partnership, we will find ourselves in constant conflict. We will discover that our “plowing partner” has an agenda that competes with rather than complements our own. Rather than working together, we will fight one another, accomplishing little of God’s Kingdom work.

It is one thing to share the gospel with a lost individual, but it is another thing altogether to do life with them. We should love the lost and be willing to share the hope of Christ with them, but we must never forget that, in their unredeemed state, they are still enemies of God, living in rebellion against Him. Our goal should be their redemption, not a compromised relationship with them. Our purpose in associating with them is that they might know the love of God and be set free from their slavery to sin and death. But ignoring their sin just to enjoy their friendship is dangerous for us and, ultimately, a sign of a serious lack of love for them.

Father, we have to be very careful how we interpret and apply Your Son’s command to love our enemies. He wasn’t calling us to compromise our convictions or excuse their behavior; He was encouraging us to love them enough to tell them the truth about the gospel. That may require that we offend or upset them, and may have to face their wrath or rejection. But if we allow friendship to trump our calling to proclaim the good news, we do them more harm than good. By failing to tell them the truth about sin and their need for a Savior, we condemn rather than befriend them. The proverb is right when it states, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love. Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT). Give me the boldness to speak truth even when it may result in the loss of a friend. Show me how to love well, never allowing compromise to supersede my commitment to Your Word and my calling to be an ambassador of the gospel. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Too Tolerant For Our Own Good.

1 Corinthians 5

For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?. – 1 Corinthians 5:12 ESV

Tolerance is the official pastime of today's culture. We are expected to tolerate any and all behavior. We are demanded to tolerate alternative lifestyles and sexual behaviors. We are feed a steady diet of tolerance on TV with programs portraying every imaginable situation and circumstance, selling as perfectly normal what would have been abnormal and unacceptable just a few short years ago. Sin craves tolerance. It demands to be accepted. And while no seems to want to live in a nation that legislates morality, just about everyone wants to live in a society that protects and legitimizes sin through the passing of laws.

None of this should surprise or shock us. It is the nature of sin. It is the natural outcome of man's sin nature and the devastating impact of life in a fallen world. But the Body of Christ should be another story. The Church is not a place where tolerance should be tolerated. Don't get me wrong. The Church is where love, acceptance and forgiveness should reign. But acceptance and tolerance are not synonymous. They are not one and the same thing. Paul seemed to know and understand that. He knew that the Church of Jesus Christ was going to be made up of sinners who had been saved. They had been redeemed out of their slavery to sin by the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. But they were not to remain in their sin. They were not to stay as they were, but were expected to grow, mature, and increasingly take on the nature of Jesus Christ Himself. So when Paul received news that there was sexual immorality taking place among the believers in Corinth, he struck fast and hard. He classified what was going on in their midst as "something that even the pagans don't do" (1 Corinthians 5:1 NLT). There was a man who was having a sexual relationship with his father's wife. Not only was he committing adultery, he was doing so with his own stepmother. And the members of the local congregation were doing nothing about it.

It's interesting to note that Paul says little about the sin of this man and his stepmother. He doesn't need to. It is wrong. It is immoral. Even the pagans would say so. No, Paul addresses his indignation against the rest of the congregation for its tolerance of the sin. They had done nothing to deal with it. He even says, "You are so proud of yourselves" (1 Corinthians 5:2 NLT). He doesn't clarify why he calls them proud. Perhaps they were proud because they were so accepting AND tolerant of any and all. Maybe they felt like theirs was a fellowship where everyone was welcome, because after all, all men are sinners. Later on Paul indicates that they were even boasting about what was going on. But whatever it was that motivated their pride, Paul lets them know that their reaction should have been one of mourning. They should have been sorry and ashamed. Not for the couple, but for their entire fellowship. This was a corporate issue. Paul uses the well-understood imagery of leaven to explain what was happening to their fellowship due to their tolerance. "Don't you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough?" (1 Corinthians 5:6 NLT). The sin of this man and woman was more than an individual act, it had corporate implications. Their presence was contaminating the entire fellowship. It was impacting and influencing the entire congregation. Now, what seems to be evident in the text is that there was no repentance or remorse on the part of the couple. It seems that they were living in sin and expecting everyone around them to accept them accordingly. And no one was confronting them about their sin. Their sinfulness was met with silence and tolerance. That is where the danger lies. Yes, we are to accept sinners. We are to lovingly include the lost and welcome them into our midst, but we are never to tolerate their sin. We are to lovingly confront them with the truth of God's Word and call them to repentance. Paul makes it clear that it would be impossible to disassociate ourselves with unbelieving sinners. "You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that" (1 Corinthians 5:10 NLT). But when someone comes into our fellowship, claims Jesus Christ as their Savior, and yet indulges in unrepentant, willful sin, that is where our acceptance and tolerance must end. We must stand up for the truth of God's Word. We must understand the danger of allowing sin to influence and infect the Body of Christ. Yet the common response most of us utter is, "Who am I to judge someone else?" What a dangerous conclusion to reach. We have been programmed to believe that judging others is unacceptable behavior for a Christian. but Paul clearly states, "it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning" (1 Corinthians 5:12 NLT). The key phrase is "who are sinning." We are not to judge another believer's faithfulness. We are not to make judgments based on income, status, clothes or the color of someone's skin. But we are to "judge" the sin in our midst. The word Paul uses for "judge" is one that can mean "to separate or pick out, to pronounce an opinion concerning right and wrong." We have an obligation to protect the integrity, unity and purity of the Body of Christ. When sin becomes apparent, we are to deal with it. We are to lovingly confront it. We are to call one another to repentance and restoration. But if an individual refuses to repent and continues to willingly remain in their sin, we have a responsibility to act. Paul makes it painfully simple: "…you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worship idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don't even eat with such people" (1 Corinthians 5:11 NLT). Not only that, "You must remove the evil person from among you" (1 Corinthians 5:13 NLT). Unrepentance trumps acceptance every time. But the truth is, we are far too tolerant far too often. We don't want to judge. We don't want to offend. We don't want to cause a scene. So we tolerate the presence of unrepentant, arrogant sin in our midst, and then wonder why the church is weak, powerless and a mere shadow of what Christ intended for it to be.

Father, wake us up. Give us the moral fortitude to stand up for what is right – in our own churches. Help us understand that love is not tolerance. It is not putting up with one another's sins, but lovingly calling each other to live lives of holiness. It is understanding that the corporate well being takes precedence over a single individual's self-indulgence. Give us the boldness to stand up for what is right and righteous. But show us how to do it in love, not anger. Help us do it for the good of the Body of Christ, not out of some sense of self-righteous indignation. Amen.