The Pursuit of Peace Over Personal Preference

13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. – Romans 14:13-23 ESV

Paul bookends this section with virtually the same words. He opens with “let us not pass judgment on one another” (Romans 14:13 ESV) and ends with “blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself” (Romans 14:22 ESV). The only difference is the one on whom the judgment is assessed.

We are not to judge each other, and our actions toward one another should give us no cause to judge ourselves. In both cases, the issue is about rights, and Paul used himself as an example. He declared that he had the right to eat whatever he wanted, because nothing was unclean for him. He had probably heard the story of the vision Peter received from God before Peter was sent to the home of Cornelius, a Roman army officer.

Peter went up on the flat roof to pray. It was about noon, and he was hungry. But while a meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. He saw the sky open, and something like a large sheet was let down by its four corners. In the sheet were all sorts of animals, reptiles, and birds. Then a voice said to him, “Get up, Peter; kill and eat them.”

“No, Lord,” Peter declared. “I have never eaten anything that our Jewish laws have declared impure and unclean.”

But the voice spoke again: “Do not call something unclean if God has made it clean.” The same vision was repeated three times. – Acts 10:9-16 NLT

While this vision was meant to convey God’s approval of Gentiles receiving the gospel, it also conveyed a not-so-subtle message regarding Jewish dietary laws. With the coming of Jesus, a radical paradigm shift had taken place. The new was replacing the old. The law of Moses was being replaced with the law of liberty. Jesus put it this way:

“No one tears a piece of cloth from a new garment and uses it to patch an old garment. For then the new garment would be ruined, and the new patch wouldn’t even match the old garment.

“And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the new wine would burst the wineskins, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine must be stored in new wineskins. But no one who drinks the old wine seems to want the new wine. ‘The old is just fine,’ they say.” – Luke 5:36-39 NLT

Gentiles were now acceptable, and once-forbidden foods were no longer off-limits. Paul would also have been familiar with Jesus' teachings about dietary laws and defilement.

“It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.” – Mark 7:15 NLT

Jesus’ disciples had been confused by His words, so He provided clarification.

“Can’t you see that the food you put into your body cannot defile you? Food doesn’t go into your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer.” (By saying this, he declared that every kind of food is acceptable in God’s eyes). – Mark 7:18-19 NLT

So Paul, even though he was a Jew, lived his life with a newfound freedom when it came to his eating habits. He no longer lived under the strict dietary restrictions associated with his Jewish heritage, but he was willing to give up his rights for the sake of a brother or sister in Christ. It all goes back to the “weaker” brother narrative in the opening verses of this chapter.

There will always be those in the church whose understanding of the life of faith is less developed. They will retain certain legalistic expectations, believing that what they do or don’t do earns them favor with God. In Paul’s day, both Jewish and Gentile believers brought their own list of restrictions to the table. There were converted Jews who still felt it necessary to maintain the dietary laws of their Jewish faith. There were also Gentile believers who felt convicted about eating meat that had been sacrificed to pagan idols.

Paul had to deal with this issue in the church in Corinth. He told them, “We all know that an idol is not really a god and that there is only one God” (1 Corinthians 8:4 NLT). But he went on to say, “However, not all believers know this. Some are accustomed to thinking of idols as being real, so when they eat food that has been offered to idols, they think of it as the worship of real gods, and their weak consciences are violated” (1 Corinthians 8:7 NLT).

Then Paul dealt with the real issue. “It’s true that we can’t win God’s approval by what we eat. We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do” (1 Corinthians 4:8 NLT). But for Paul, it all boiled down to the spiritual well-being of his brother or sister in Christ.

But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. For if others see you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer for whom Christ died will be destroyed. And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble. – Romans 4:9-13 NLT

While Paul understood that certain foods were perfectly fine for him to eat, he was not willing to demand his rights if doing so would cause a brother in Christ to sin against his conscience.

It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes a brother to stumble. – Romans 14:21 ESV

It is a wonderful thing to enjoy the freedom that comes with the life of faith. Our right standing with God is not based on adherence to a long list of prohibitions and restrictions. But there will always be those who don’t understand this truth and hold strong convictions about what they eat or don’t eat, what they can and can't wear, and even which activities they can participate in or abstain from.

For Paul, the final word on all of this concerned faith.

For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. – Romans 14:23 ESV

For the immature or weaker believer, conscience ends up playing a far greater role than necessary. Rather than enjoying the freedom that comes with knowing his standing before God is fully taken care of by the finished work of Christ, he ends up operating from his own inner sense of right and wrong. So if his conscience tells him that something is forbidden by God, to violate that belief would be sin. He becomes burdened with guilt for having done what he believed was against God's will.

Paul says, “Whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith” (Romans 14:23 ESV). So rather than the stronger believer wearing his or her rights like a badge of honor, they should love their weaker brother or sister in Christ, willingly setting aside their rights so that they might not cause a fellow believer to sin against their conscience.

We are always to build up, not tear down. We are to lovingly teach and instruct one another, not boastfully and arrogantly display our rights and flaunt our newfound freedoms in Christ. Peter summed it up well when he wrote, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8 NLT).

Father, rights are a wonderful thing until they cause pain and suffering for others. I enjoy all kinds of rights and freedoms in Christ, but I am never free to flaunt them in the face of others or use them to condemn those who remain enslaved to guilt-enducing sins. Paul understood the freedoms he enjoyed as a Christ-follower, but he never allowed those freedoms to create barriers or roadblocks for the lost or less mature believers. He was willing to sacrifice his rights so that others might embrace the law of liberty, the freedom found in a relationship with God based on grace, not merit. Defending our rights and protecting our freedoms can actually make us slaves to them. We end up making them the focus of our faith, rather than Christ. If we’re not careful, we can replace righteousness with rights and holiness with the pursuit of happiness. But dying to self is a big part of living for Christ. Help me to see the difference and to never allow my rights to become a pretext for sin Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.22

God Doesn’t Need Your Help

10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
    and every tongue shall confess to God.”

12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. – Romans 14:10-12 ESV

Don’t despise. Don’t judge.

To judge is to assume that you know what is right and wrong for everybody else. To despise is to treat with contempt those who, by your estimation, are “weaker” in their faith. In either case, Paul warns against treating your Christian brothers or sisters this way. When you do, you set yourself up as God, taking on a role that does not belong to you. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warned against judging others.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” – Matthew 7:1-3 ESV

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” – Luke 6:37 NLT

It is presumptuous and dangerous for us to play God in the life of another believer. But that is what we are doing when we judge them. We are neither omniscient nor omnipresent, so it is impossible for us to accurately discern the heart of another human being. Because we are finite creatures, we are limited to the external evidence we can see. But Jesus disclosed that the day is coming when we each have to account for our actions, but not those of others.

Paul reminded the believers in Corinth, “For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body” (2 Corinthians 5:10 NLT). God will be our judge. He will determine whether what we have done was right or wrong, and determine the quality of the works we have done since coming to know Christ.

This will all take place at the Bema Seat of Christ. This judgment has nothing to do with our salvation, but will determine the rewards we receive in the eternal Kingdom. Paul talked about this event in his letter to the believers in Corinth.

Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames. – 1 Corinthians 3:12-15 NLT

But it is interesting to note that, on another occasion, Paul wrote the following words to the same church:

It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.” – 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 NLT

Here, Paul is telling believers to judge one another. But notice the difference. This concerns sin in the life of the believer and has nothing to do with grey areas, personal preferences, or the opinions of men. If the Word of God condemns their action as sinful, then we must deal with it accordingly. In this case, Paul was addressing an issue in the church in Corinth that had become intolerable, and he painted a clear picture of the problem.

I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship. – 1 Corinthians 5:1-2 NLT

Rather than condemn this man’s behavior as unacceptable, they were approving of it by gladly tolerating it in their midst. In fact, they were evidently bragging about their progressive tolerance. So Paul let them have it.

Your boasting about this is terrible. Don’t you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old “yeast” by removing this wicked person from among you. Then you will be like a fresh batch of dough made without yeast, which is what you really are. – 1 Corinthians 5:6-7 NLT

Earlier in his letter to the Romans, Paul encouraged them to draw clear distinctions between good and evil in their midst. 

Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. – Romans 12:9 NLT

It is not loving to tolerate and to overlook sin in the life of a brother or sister in Christ. And it does not make you more “spiritual” to refuse to judge someone in the body of Christ who is blatantly and consistently sinning. Paul expected believers to take a strong stand against sin within the camp and provided clear directions for dealing with sin within the body of Christ.

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. – Galatians 6:1 NLT

James echoed this sentiment when he wrote, “My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins” (James 5:19-20 NLT).

It is important to remember that the context of Romans 14 is judging and despising one another based on personal opinions, not the Word of God. Paul warns against determining right and wrong based on one's own criteria rather than God’s. It is similar to what the Pharisees and religious leaders of Jesus’ day were guilty of doing. They had developed their own set of rules and regulations that had nothing to do with God’s Word or will. They judged others for their inability to live up to the self-imposed standards they had established, but that was not their job.

These men had a God-ordained responsibility to help the people interpret and apply the Mosaic Law, a fact Jesus pointed out.

“The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you…”  – Matthew 23:2-3 NLT

However, Jesus also warned against emulating the behavior of the Jewish religious leaders. 

“…but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.” – Matthew 23:2-4 NLT

God had not appointed them to be the arbiters of truth. It was not up to them to determine right and wrong because God had clearly delineated the boundaries of righteousness and wickedness. Yet, these men had developed their own set of “unbearable religious demands” that they used to judge others as unworthy and unacceptable to God. And Jesus had strong words for these hypocritical self-appointed judges.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.” – Matthew 23:13 NLT  

In their pride and arrogance, they refused to accept Jesus as the Messiah and did everything in their power to keep others from doing so as well. They judged others using a set of standards that God neither ordained nor approved, leaving sinners without hope of forgiveness and atonement. But judgment is God’s responsibility, and His Law was designed to show people their sin and their need for a Savior. 

For Paul, judgment wasn’t completely off limits; it was a matter of where that judgment was applied. He wants us to know that, as believers, we have no business judging sin among the lost. But we do have a responsibility to judge and deal with sin in the body of Christ because it can be infectious and deadly. But even when judging the sin in our midst, we must do so with love, desiring to see our brother or sister restored in their relationship with God.

We play God when we condemn what God has condoned and approve of what God has forbidden. The prophet Isaiah warned those who did such things.

What sorrow for those who say
    that evil is good and good is evil,
that dark is light and light is dark,
    that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter.
What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes
    and think themselves so clever. – Isaiah 5:20-21 NLT

Solomon wrote, “Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent—both are detestable to the Lord” (Proverbs 17:15 NLT). We must constantly control our desire to judge and despise others based on nothing more than our own opinions. But we must also be careful not to play God by ignoring His Word and tolerating what He has clearly forbidden.

Father, Paul paints a fine line between judgment and judgmentalism. He is calling us to judge the sin in our midst, in the body of Christ, but to refrain from judging others based on our own set of standards. Yet, how easy it is to judge and despise others based on nothing more than our personal opinions and preferences. We look down on others because their manner of dress doesn’t meet our approval. We judge others based on lifestyle preferences we find offensive or off-putting. But, in most cases, we have little or no Scriptural support for our strongly-held opinions. They are little more than man-made rules that we determined and use to judge the spiritual worthiness of others. Forgive us for our arrogance and audacity to act as judges with evil motives. When we do, we are no different than the self-righteous religious leaders of Jesus’ day. Open our eyes to the sin in our own lives so that we can effectively and lovingly address the sin in others. But let it always be based on Your Word and not our will. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.22

The Peril of Personal Preferences

1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. – Romans 14:1-9 ESV

Opinions: everybody has one. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with having an opinion, when it comes to our faith, they can be dangerous and destructive. So it makes sense that Paul would take on this delicate and sensitive matter as he deals with the practical role of the gospel in the life of the believer.

Paul has already said that believers are to “owe no one anything, except to love each other” (Romans 13:8 ESV). They are to “walk (conduct their lives) properly as in the daylight…not in quarreling and jealousy” (Romans 13:13 ESV). Now he warns them “not to quarrel over opinions” (Romans 14:1 ESV).

Paul knew that the church in Rome was just like any other church; it was made up of people from all walks of life, differing religious backgrounds, conflicting cultural heritages, and diverse personality types. There were those who were more mature in their faith and others who were still spiritual infants. And he knew that the health of the church was ultimately dependent upon the unity the believers maintained with one another. Unity was on Jesus' mind when He prayed His High Priestly Prayer in the garden just hours before His death.

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” – John 17:20-21 ESV

Personal opinions can be one of the greatest threats to the unity of any local body of Christ. But when Paul talks about opinions, he has something very specific in mind. The Greek word he uses is “diakrisis,” and it refers to “passing judgment on opinions, as to which one is to be preferred as the more correct” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). What Paul addresses here is the tendency for one believer to judge another's opinion based on their own preconceived notions of right and wrong.

The author of Hebrews warns us that the ability to discern right from wrong comes from spending time in the Word of God.

You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong. – Hebrews 5:12-14 NLT

Opinions that are not based on God’s Word will ultimately be divisive and destructive. Paul goes on to give examples of just what he is talking about.

…one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. - Romans 14:2 ESV

Old Testament dietary laws were a major factor in the early church because of the presence of believing Jews who felt obligated to keep the laws concerning the consumption of pure and impure foods. The local church in Rome was made up of people from various cultural backgrounds who brought their particular religious requirements with them. One member of the local body had strong convictions about abstaining from meat, while another member saw no problem with it. But each believed their opinion was the right one, which led to disunity and disagreement.

Paul doesn’t deal with the why behind either decision; he simply says, "Don’t despise and don’t judge." God did not welcome either member into the body of Christ based on their eating habits. Each belonged to Him, so Paul asks, “Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall.” (Romans 14:4 NLT). The “master” Paul has in mind is God. Each believer must answer to God for their opinions about food, whether right or wrong.

Where all of this becomes a problem is when our opinions are based on personal preferences and not the clear teaching of God’s Word. We can easily develop strong convictions about a variety of topics that have no basis in Scripture, or they may be based on a poor interpretation and application of God’s Word.

Too often, we take general admonitions from God’s Word and try to make them specific. For example, the Bible is clear that we are to treat God with honor and worship Him reverently and respectfully. But the Bible does not tell us exactly what our worship services should look like. We are not given specific directions regarding musical styles or the order of worship. There are no clear indications or admonitions regarding how we are to dress when we gather for worship. Where it gets dangerous is when we start arguing over specifics based on our personal opinions rather than the clear teachings of Scripture. My personal music tastes should never lead me to judge another whose preferences differ from mine. My opinions about clothing styles should not cause me to look down my nose at someone who dresses differently from me.

Paul’s point is that our emphasis needs to be on the heart behind the opinion. Why does someone feel the need to abstain from meat? Why does another individual have strong opinions about contemporary music? What is the motivation behind the way in which that person dresses? Paul says that the one who determines to observe a particular day as better than another should do so in honor of the Lord. In other words, his decision should be made with God in mind.

Your decision to eat or abstain should be based on a desire to honor God, not some self-centered opinion about right or wrong. We are to “live to the Lord” because we belong to Him. Our opinions are to be based on His will, not our own. Our preferences should be influenced by His desires for us. Judgment and hate have no place in the body of Christ.

We are to love one another, accept one another, prefer one another, esteem one another, encourage one another, and submit to one another. Unity is the key to experiencing true community and demonstrating the love of God to a lost and dying world.

Father, we all bring our personal preferences with us when we gather as the body of Christ. It’s obvious in the way we dress, the style of worship music we like, and the kinds of people we associate with. Whether we want to admit it or not, we spend a great deal of time judging one another and making false assumptions about others based on external factors that have nothing to do with Scripture and do nothing to promote unity and demonstrate love. I can be as guilty of this as anyone. But Paul makes it clear that these kinds of attitudes are inappropriate and unacceptable in the church. They do nothing to build up the body of Christ. In fact, they create barriers, encourage cliques, and destroy the sense of unity and oneness that Jesus longed to see. Thank You for opening my eyes to the problem. Now, would You help me to die to my personal preferences and replace them with a desire to live in unity with my brothers and sisters in Christ. That we may be one as You and Your Son are one. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.22

Food Fights.

Romans 14:14-23

Don't tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. – Romans 14:20 NIV

In all things, our goal should be the building up of one another in love. There is no place in the body of Christ for petty arguments or disputes over rights and privileges. This entire section of Paul's letter has to do with food. At first glance, it may appear that Paul is spending an inordinate amount of time dealing with what appears to be a non-issue. After all, how big a deal is what we eat in our local fellowships today? We don't tend to fight and argue over issues of diet or culinary preferences. But in Paul's day, this was a problem. There were those within the local church in Rome who were still adhering to the Jewish dietary restrictions found within the Mosaic law. And they were placing those same restrictions on other believers within the church, demanding their adherence to them. There were others who, having come out of pagan religious practices, were reluctant to eat meat sold in the marketplace that had been sacrificed to pagan idols. Other believers, fully aware that their new-found freedom in Christ made all foods available to them. After all, Jesus Himself had said, "It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart" (Mark 7:15 NLT). He had also stated, "Food doesn’t go into your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer. (By saying this, he declared that every kind of food is acceptable in God’s eyes)" (Mark 7:19 NLT). So as far as they were concerned, they could eat anything they like, whether it was sacrificed to an idol or not. They could even eat food that had been off limits according to the Mosaic law. As a result, you had all kinds of conflicts going on within the church over food. To us it sounds petty and childish. But there is a principle going on here that applies to every situation and circumstance within the church – regardless of the century. Paul makes it clear in verse 19. "So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up" (Romans 14:19 NLT). The Greek word for "build" was a construction or architectural term that had to do with the act of building something up. Metaphorically, it meant to build up, encourage, or strengthen. Paul used it to convey the idea of promoting the spiritual growth of another. The goal was mutual edification. Paul states, "For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 14:17 NLT). How easy it is to focus on the non-essentials. Today, we make it about things like music styles or worship preferences. We debate about what constitutes acceptable or appropriate clothing styles for church. Some feel comfortable attending worship in flip flops and shorts, while others are appalled by this apparent lack of respect, and prefer more dignified apparel for Sunday worship. As a result, judgments are made, criticism is leveled, and harmony is destroyed. To paraphrase Paul's words, he could just as easily have written, "Don't tear apart the work of God over what you wear."

Now don't get me wrong, when it comes to clothing, there must be careful consideration given to what we put on. Especially when it comes to modesty. Paul's entire point is built around not causing another believer to stumble. While we may feel completely free to dress casually when attending church, we must always consider how our choice of attire affects those around us. Women need to consider whether the outfit they select might cause a brother in Christ to lust. Is their choice of clothing putting the emphasis on the wrong part of their anatomy? Is it distracting or could it cause a brother to lust and, therefore, stumble? Just because you might feel that a suit and tie is the only acceptable attire for worship, wouldn't it be worthwhile to consider whether your choice of clothing might not cause another brother or sister in Christ to feel unwelcome or even unworthy to attend worship because they don't have the capacity to dress accordingly? "You may believe there's nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God" (Romans 14:22 NLT). What a difference it would make in our local churches if our main priority was the mutual building up of one another. What a radical impact we would see in our fellowships if it became all about US, not ME.

There are so many things – petty, inconsequential things – that tend to divide and destroy the harmony of the local church. Paul's obsession was for unity. He wanted his readers to understand the non-negotiable nature of mutual edification and corporate spiritual growth. The goal then, as now, was spiritual growth. Nothing was to stand in the way of the spiritual maturity of each and every believer. And we all share in and must take responsibility for the spiritual growth of one another. And oftentimes, we allow petty matters and personal preferences to stand in the way of that goal. Instead, we are to "aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up" (Romans 14:19 NLT).

Father, give us the perspective of Paul. Help us to look past our petty, personal preferences and focus on the mutual edification of one another. May our goal be harmony and unity. May our desire be the spiritual growth and maturity of one another. May our rights be replace with focus on relationships and the task of building up the body of Christ. Amen.